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Bonfirelight
Member

since 2003-06-19

Posts 85
London, England

0 posted 2003-07-07 05:47 AM

Born on a tuesday
to the sound of a hurricane
lived in a tumor
eating itself
waiting for sundown
for a saint in a wedding gown
dancing the tango
all by himself

and waiting
and waiting
build more armour plating
till a door knock's a teardrop on the chinese dirt

stars become satellites
space becomes ground
And the world still turned
Silently round

Ratleader

Member Rara Avis

since 2003-01-23

Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass

1 posted 2003-07-08 04:43 PM

This is poetry.....

You say so much here, by painting around the subject, marking lines here and there, dots here and there that are not it....until it's there for us in bold relief. Excellent technique, and one I'll look for the chance to try myself.

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

Bill Charles
Member Patricius

since 2000-07-11

Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now

2 posted 2003-07-08 08:15 PM

Bonfirelight - nice write...

BC

Lexy
Senior Member

since 2003-01-28

Posts 1038
California

3 posted 2003-07-08 10:40 PM

this is what I call great poetry. I loved it. It was perfect.
Thanks for sharing your talent with us.
~Lex..

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

4 posted 2003-07-08 10:47 PM

"stars become satellites
space becomes ground
And the world still turned
Silently round"

Perfect!! I love this...so very much enjoyed!!
~Smiles & Hugs, Nancy~

~If you haven't heard the sunset,
you haven't been listening.~

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

5 posted 2003-07-09 04:47 AM

awesome ending!

mytuesdaywishes
Member

since 2003-09-05

Posts 254
a voice from the musicbox

6 posted 2003-09-17 01:53 PM

you're my favorite poet. people like you make the world go round. cheers.

and even when everything was wrong, and we were mad at the world, it was still beautiful.

mytuesdaywishes
Member

since 2003-09-05

Posts 254
a voice from the musicbox

7 posted 2003-09-29 06:13 PM

tuesdays are the best days, and you are the best writer, and stars are the best vices...

and even when everything was wrong, and we were mad at the world, it was still beautiful.

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