»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #27
»
Freeway Daisy....duet with Ratleader
| Open Poetry #27 |
|
Freeway Daisy....duet with Ratleader |
|
|
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California 
|
Freeway Daisy She fell in love and grew, not from summer or the nights of rain, or the knots of blasphemy torn loose by trucks or even necessarily a seed. What makes her bloom; she simply is, and would be here despite the road, despite the errands of a flower, without the roundels of these hills all leaning upward as they hold her and her entourage of grass. She simply is because of him. A survivor is a brave thing stacked in yellow mess of quiet next to the fast movement of steel where man gripped and tightlipped keeps going somewhere, anywhere other than standing still amid mustard and the unkempt and incorrigible dandelion. Somewhere overlooking a hill a survivor sees roads are like rivers cutting a path down to the sea. Even though a prince rips yet another petal from the daisywheel of time: she loves him not! And though he searches down the center lane he'll never find the lady slipper; never know the sun-eyed Cinderella bravely waiting within earshot of his horn, steps below the sluice that flashes him off in a flood of steel and wax, down to the driven sea of streets, the asphalt waves and flashing shores of glass and hurry She fell in love. Within his invisible hand she could dance and find dimensions of herself, caught yet finally free, taken away from sun glassed attitudes charged with blacktop rage, no more falling for the straight lines and fast track or the pillow of surrender's oil left behind neglect. For her all the pretty dresses of spring wink without words and the engines that are earth and sky whisper and are heard. She fell in love with the wind. [This message has been edited by Martie (07-05-2003 06:34 PM).] |
||
| © Copyright 2003 Martie Odell Ingebretsen - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Ok...so have the both of you out-dueted the dueters? What a display...and what a slice of life as is...exposed to the world, and only seen with the third eye... This.... is poetry! |
||
|
BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
You guys compliment each other so beautifully. I would be lying if I said I wasn't just a little envious! Make that alot!!  This was such a nice poem... Do you ever get choked up when you read something that touches so deeply!!! Maybe I should come back later! Lovely writing you two~ |
||
|
Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
This is a wonderful read .... and I love daisies .... falling in love with the wind! Compliments to both of you highly talented Poets. Love, Margherita |
||
|
Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
She fell in love and grew, not from summer or the nights of rain, or the knots of blasphemy torn loose by trucks or even necessarily a seed. What makes her bloom; she simply is, and would be here despite the road, despite the errands of a flower, without the roundels of these hills all leaning upward as they hold her and her entourage of grass. She simply is because of him. A survivor is a brave thing stacked in yellow mess of quiet next to the fast movement of steel where man gripped and tightlipped keeps going somewhere, anywhere other than standing still amid mustard and the unkempt and incorrigible dandelion. Somewhere overlooking a hill a survivor sees roads are like rivers cutting a path down to the sea. =========================== only you two could have written this... and so you have...and so we reap the benefits and pleasure of your dance. Very cool imagery, personifi and analogy here guys...excellent!! Well ... OK ... but you have to wash it first. |
||
suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Blues isn't the only one fighting envy. *S* This is collaboration at its very best... a seamless joining of two of the finest poets I know telling a story that will make me look at every roadside with different eyes. Brilliant, beautiful work. *S* |
||
|
Janette
since 2001-07-20
Posts 2843Chicagoland for now |
A fine piece of work with flawless blending. Enjoyed |
||
|
ThisDiamond Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353Michigan, USA |
Oh You TWO!! This was an incredible duet. The title was striking...the verses were wonderful! Standing Ovation!!! TD |
||
|
Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
Martie, I'm a lucky guy. You are an absolute pleasure to write with, and I simply couldn't ask for a better partner. You take the best that I can create, and make it sing! Thank you for joining me in this wordsong, and for taking the Soprano part this time. ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
||
|
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Ed...It is I that thanks you...all I did was have a title, and you ran with it, just like that! It was fun.  Thanks too, friends, for such possitive replies...appreciate it. |
||
|
Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
So gimmie another one, see what happens! Oh, and write half and edit the rest when I wander off the path....a cinch! ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
||
|
icebox Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383in the shadows |
"...the engines that are earth and sky whisper and are heard." Nice! Very nice!  |
||
|
wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
Better than nice...Better than good. Simply stellar! Ed |
||
|
brian sites Senior Member
since 2002-06-25
Posts 1475usa |
WOW this is amazing I don't know who wrote what.. and it doesn't matter this speaks a novel really need to read a third time awesome job you two |
||
|
passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
outstanding  wow, you two should get together more! |
||
|
Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
 ...You two meld quite nicely together... Nicely penned... |
||
|
Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Wow what a fabulous collaboration. This is simply beautiful I have no words to describe how this made me feel. I am keeping it! Well done both of you. Maree fate is not just |
||
|
Wind
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981 |
magnificantly romantic... I said I'm going to buy a gun and start a war, |
||
garysgirl 
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Martie and Ed, this is so beautiful and well-written that I have no idea what to say. Just perfect. Thank you both for allowing us to read it.  Hugs Ethel |
||
|
Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
Wonderful you two!! I am keeping this! hugs to you both, Chris "Said you'd give me light... |
||
|
vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
enjoyed the duet |
||
|
Goodknight Member Elite
since 2002-06-15
Posts 2386Ohio, USA |
this is just wonderful Martie and Ed - I loved it so - Paul |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
