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Open Poetry #27
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I (Choka)
| Open Poetry #27 |
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I (Choka) |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass 
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I Bolt from jagged dreams of parting, desolation, knowing it's false, but to stop this pain of doubting I would tear out my own heart |
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| © Copyright 2003 Ed Ratledge - All Rights Reserved | |||
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LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
whewww, pretty heavy words my friend...know the meaning and feeling, but each day grows a little better and brighter fruit...best to leave well enough alone....go forward sailing new ships across the oceans. smiles and hugs. |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
to doubt is to live, nothing is ever simple and as our Prime Minister once said "Life wasn't meant to be easy." So you continue to bleed words upon the page and I will continue to read and take comfort that I am not alone. Kethry Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind. Unknown |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
I may not understand the form... but I do understand the power... and this write grips the reader's heart until it feels torn. Superb slap-to-the-face poetry that makes me wish I knew a pharmacist with magical powers... I'd be sending pain relief before nightfall. *S* |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
Loved this.. |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
Thanks to each....knowing friends are there is a blessing I'm not used to....... ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Ed...Dreams can feel so real and desperate...wake up and feel the light and know it's only a dream.  |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
Yep, I did....but that one rattled my cage hard enough to write about, though even at the time I knew it was only fear seeping in, not truth pouring out. ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
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ThisDiamond Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353Michigan, USA |
Powerful chant from the heart of wise man. Enjoyed the theme here. TD |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
Strong stuff, I can relate so well. Sandra |
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inkedgoddess Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392Ohio |
thats a heavy sacrifice, wouldn't you say, but i can relate, for sure |
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garysgirl 
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Oooohhhh, that most have been some awful dream.  You need a hug after that  Ethel |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
At that moment, it felt like it would be an improvement! ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
Ed, God I love this . . . powerful . . . mannn here go have a looksee . . . http://www.americanpoems.com/poets/stephencrane/inthedesert.shtml Ed . . . what is a CHOKA? [This message has been edited by littlewing (07-06-2003 02:38 PM).] |
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Wind
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981 |
littlewing- its one of those 5-7-5-7-7 syllable things. And its a really good one too. I said I'm going to buy a gun and start a war, |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
Yep, and it can carry the 5-7-5 format out for an extended poem -- some get fairly long. The first poem I ever posted on PIP was a 9-line Choka called Japan.... /pip/Forum76/HTML/002247.html ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
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