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Open Poetry #27
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Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium

0 posted 2003-07-01 08:38 AM


Love,
you and me were
probably never meant to be
in that spell of forever magic
but I never realised
how quickly the warmth of your smile
could crystallize
into a sculpted face in stone
that appears so occasion-restricted
when we still face each other
and utter a faded hello

I am not insisting that
your smile is artificial
for I do not know for sure
since we do not share
that special world
anymore

though faced with your smile
I can still feel the fire burn
in an infinite yearn
dressed like an unforgettable
memoir

Love,
I stood on a ladder that slipped:
the hollow wood that it was made of
much like my heart
that echoes drops of heavy mercury
resonating in granite shells
of blackness-tinged
emotions

faraway the stars shine
on this moonless night
flickering away for the millions
who share the sight
wearing special twinkling
smiles

all that I can do
is stare at the sky
and feel the stitches
on my heart’s garb
and agree that those were
the best days of my life
indeed

and then I let
a smile slip
as a meteorite
fell

[This message has been edited by Sudhir Iyer (07-01-2003 08:53 AM).]

© Copyright 2003 Sudhir Iyer - All Rights Reserved
Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia
1 posted 2003-07-01 08:51 AM


Beloved one,
don't you know by now, smiles have a way of infecting thoughts. It's good to see your thoughts this day.
Kethry

Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind.  Unknown



Ratleader
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Member Rara Avis
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass
2 posted 2003-07-01 09:24 AM


I don't know which I like best, ths scintillating imagery, or the way you move this poem from within. Excellent work on a wistfully painful subject.

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

Marge Tindal
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Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
3 posted 2003-07-01 09:35 AM


Sudhir,My Friend~
This is wistfully penned from a caring heart~
It's always a pleasure for me to read you~

'utter a faded hello'

That line oozes heartache~
Been there ... know how it feels~
Sending *hugs*
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
   noles1@totcon.com   

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
4 posted 2003-07-01 09:37 AM



Suddy - this slipped directly into my library...Your poetry has grown so much, my friend.  It is always so good to see your words, and your smile.

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
5 posted 2003-07-01 09:44 AM


I echo Karilea on this one...your poetry has really grown.
Love this one...a real keeper for my library.
~Smiles & Hugs, Nancy~

~If you haven't heard the sunset,
   you haven't been listening.~

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

6 posted 2003-07-01 10:38 AM


I'm adding this into my llibrary because although sad you managed to make me smile m'friend.



Maree

fate is not just
whose cooking  smells good
but which way the wind blows

(Ani DiFranco)


SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
7 posted 2003-07-01 10:42 AM


"though faced with your smile
I can still feel the fire burn
in an infinite yearn
dressed like an unforgettable
memoir"
this goes right to the heart of me

garysgirl
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
8 posted 2003-07-01 10:44 AM


all that I can do
is stare at the sky
and feel the stitches
on my heart’s garb
and agree that those were
the best days of my life
indeed

and then I let
a smile slip
as a meteorite
fell


Oh, Sudhir...this one hurts. You wrote it so beautifully, though, and I'm going to keep it, too.
Hugs  
Ethel

ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353
Michigan, USA
9 posted 2003-07-01 12:08 PM


This had such a velvet feel to the entire tone of the works. Enjoyed the read.
Can't choose a single line, they are all very well done. TD

Nightshade
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Member Patricius
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962
just out of reach
10 posted 2003-07-01 12:13 PM


Sudhir....well, this is just awesome. Library bound it is. Never, no never...lose your smile! hugs, Chris

"Said you'd give me light...
...but you never told me about the fire."

~Stevie Nicks~  
      

    

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
11 posted 2003-07-01 01:18 PM


I can feel what you are saying and feeling here...I know it well
JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
12 posted 2003-07-01 01:36 PM


Yes, sad indeed when you go from the place where you feel like a smile is just for you to the place where you know it was only a few moments in time...James
El_Campeador
Senior Member
since 2003-01-29
Posts 761
Ohio, USA
13 posted 2003-07-02 09:17 AM


Wonderfully bittersweet! This one was almost too good... I can feel your lonliness throughout the poem. Excellent writing, Sudhir. You've really got some talent!

“We are all travelers in the wilderness of this world, and the best that we can find in our travels is an honest friend.” –Robert Louis Stevenson

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
14 posted 2003-07-02 09:22 AM


Sophisticated writing, Dear Sudhir!
You reach the reader with a touch of class!

Luvs 'n hugs,
EA

Kahlil
Senior Member
since 2003-04-12
Posts 1881

15 posted 2003-07-02 09:56 AM


Sudhir, this is most excellent writing, and I could identify with the feelings.  Into my library....
Ceinwyn
Member Elite
since 2000-07-09
Posts 2175
VA
16 posted 2003-07-02 05:35 PM


*slips this into her library & sighs*

If at first you don't succeed destroy all the evidence that you tried.

A Romantic Heart
Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-03
Posts 5496
Forever In Your Heart
17 posted 2003-07-02 06:38 PM


Beautifully penned, great poetry!

!!!!!!!!!

A Romantic Heart

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
18 posted 2003-07-02 09:16 PM


Sudhir--So well done, as always...with emotional appeal.  
Thomas119gold
Senior Member
since 2002-06-03
Posts 708
Biloxi, MS (city by the sea)
19 posted 2003-07-02 09:46 PM


I sit here amazed great write
Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
20 posted 2003-07-09 05:11 AM


WOW, I am amazed at the kindness of this place shown in all the lovely responses from you... Thanks a million and more, my dear friends for all your wonderful words...

I don't think I can handle more

Regards
Sudhir

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
21 posted 2003-07-09 03:25 PM


A nice expression of your feelings...James
littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
22 posted 2003-07-09 08:20 PM


Sudhir:

me too . . . me too

all that I can do
is stare at the sky
and feel the stitches
on my heart’s garb
and agree that those were
the best days of my life
indeed

xxoo

Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
23 posted 2004-06-18 07:26 AM


Thank you so much....

regards
sudhir

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