Open Poetry #27 |
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the slipping of a smile |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium ![]() |
Love, you and me were probably never meant to be in that spell of forever magic but I never realised how quickly the warmth of your smile could crystallize into a sculpted face in stone that appears so occasion-restricted when we still face each other and utter a faded hello I am not insisting that your smile is artificial for I do not know for sure since we do not share that special world anymore though faced with your smile I can still feel the fire burn in an infinite yearn dressed like an unforgettable memoir Love, I stood on a ladder that slipped: the hollow wood that it was made of much like my heart that echoes drops of heavy mercury resonating in granite shells of blackness-tinged emotions faraway the stars shine on this moonless night flickering away for the millions who share the sight wearing special twinkling smiles all that I can do is stare at the sky and feel the stitches on my heart’s garb and agree that those were the best days of my life indeed and then I let a smile slip as a meteorite fell [This message has been edited by Sudhir Iyer (07-01-2003 08:53 AM).] |
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© Copyright 2003 Sudhir Iyer - All Rights Reserved | |||
Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Beloved one, don't you know by now, smiles have a way of infecting thoughts. It's good to see your thoughts this day. Kethry Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind. Unknown |
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Ratleader![]()
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
I don't know which I like best, ths scintillating imagery, or the way you move this poem from within. Excellent work on a wistfully painful subject. ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
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Marge Tindal![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Sudhir,My Friend~ This is wistfully penned from a caring heart~ It's always a pleasure for me to read you~ 'utter a faded hello' That line oozes heartache~ Been there ... know how it feels~ Sending *hugs* ![]() *Huglets* ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Suddy - this slipped directly into my library...Your poetry has grown so much, my friend. It is always so good to see your words, and your smile. |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
I echo Karilea on this one...your poetry has really grown. Love this one...a real keeper for my library. ~Smiles & Hugs, Nancy~ ~If you haven't heard the sunset, |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
I'm adding this into my llibrary because although sad you managed to make me smile m'friend. ![]() Maree ![]() fate is not just |
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SEA![]() ![]()
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
"though faced with your smile I can still feel the fire burn in an infinite yearn dressed like an unforgettable memoir" this goes right to the heart of me ![]() |
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garysgirl![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
all that I can do is stare at the sky and feel the stitches on my heart’s garb and agree that those were the best days of my life indeed and then I let a smile slip as a meteorite fell Oh, Sudhir...this one hurts. You wrote it so beautifully, though, and I'm going to keep it, too. ![]() Hugs ![]() Ethel |
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ThisDiamond Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353Michigan, USA |
This had such a velvet feel to the entire tone of the works. Enjoyed the read. Can't choose a single line, they are all very well done. TD |
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Nightshade![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
Sudhir....well, this is just awesome. Library bound it is. Never, no never...lose your smile! hugs, Chris ![]() "Said you'd give me light... |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
I can feel what you are saying and feeling here...I know it well |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Yes, sad indeed when you go from the place where you feel like a smile is just for you to the place where you know it was only a few moments in time...James |
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El_Campeador Senior Member
since 2003-01-29
Posts 761Ohio, USA |
Wonderfully bittersweet! This one was almost too good... I can feel your lonliness throughout the poem. Excellent writing, Sudhir. You've really got some talent! “We are all travelers in the wilderness of this world, and the best that we can find in our travels is an honest friend.” –Robert Louis Stevenson |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
Sophisticated writing, Dear Sudhir! ![]() You reach the reader with a touch of class! Luvs 'n hugs, EA |
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Kahlil Senior Member
since 2003-04-12
Posts 1881 |
Sudhir, this is most excellent writing, and I could identify with the feelings. Into my library.... |
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Ceinwyn Member Elite
since 2000-07-09
Posts 2175VA |
*slips this into her library & sighs* If at first you don't succeed destroy all the evidence that you tried. |
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A Romantic Heart Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-03
Posts 5496Forever In Your Heart |
Beautifully penned, great poetry! ![]() A Romantic Heart |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Sudhir--So well done, as always...with emotional appeal. |
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Thomas119gold Senior Member
since 2002-06-03
Posts 708Biloxi, MS (city by the sea) |
I sit here amazed great write |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
WOW, I am amazed at the kindness of this place shown in all the lovely responses from you... Thanks a million and more, my dear friends for all your wonderful words... I don't think I can handle more ![]() Regards Sudhir |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
A nice expression of your feelings...James |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
Sudhir: me too . . . me too all that I can do is stare at the sky and feel the stitches on my heart’s garb and agree that those were the best days of my life indeed xxoo |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Thank you so much.... regards sudhir |
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