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Open Poetry #27
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why I changed my mind
| Open Poetry #27 |
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why I changed my mind |
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Wind
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981
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I took my chalk and drew a line, you closed you eyes, said you'd be fine I took my bricks and built a wall, you didn't seem to care at all I took my spade and dug a hole, you missed me with your heart and soul I love you but it's best this way, It's better if you go away I took a stone and threw it down, you picked it up off of the ground, I took a torch and let it burn, you told me flame was no concern I took the wall and I built a door, I can hide from you no more I tried to make you stay away, but honey, it feels much better this way. I said I'm going to buy a gun and start a war, |
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| © Copyright 2003 Liz - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Pilgrimage Member Elite
since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945Texas, USA |
Oh yeah. It's okay to build walls as long as the door stays open.  Nan (Pilgrim variety) |
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
Awww Wind....your writing is wonderful. I love this! hugs, Chris "Said you'd give me light... |
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timothysangel1973
since 2001-12-03
Posts 1725Never close enough |
Ain't that the truth! Let them walls down...let love in! I loved it! |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
wonderful... sounds so nice... regards sudhir |
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Wind
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981 |
thank you. I said I'm going to buy a gun and start a war, |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Well done sweetie...much enjoyed. ~Hugs~ ~If you haven't heard the sunset, |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
that's me! back and forth, like a yo-yo or raoller coaster....he says I'm Dr Jeckyl and Mr Hyde |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
enjoyed this construction zone very much  |
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Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
Wind - many good reasons to change ones mind, especially when they don't seem to listen... BC |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Liz, this is really good. Are you sure that you're as young as you say you are? I'll bet the new ones here think you're at least twice your age!!  This is really good writing, Little Lady....for any age!! It's going into my library!!  Hugs  Ethel |
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El_Campeador Senior Member
since 2003-01-29
Posts 761Ohio, USA |
Very good. It is always better have a door than a solid wall... “We are all travelers in the wilderness of this world, and the best that we can find in our travels is an honest friend.” –Robert Louis Stevenson |
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El_Campeador Senior Member
since 2003-01-29
Posts 761Ohio, USA |
Okay, I'm curious... How old are you? ~El Campeador “We are all travelers in the wilderness of this world, and the best that we can find in our travels is an honest friend.” –Robert Louis Stevenson |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Sorry, Liz!! HeeHee!! |
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gemjop Member Elite
since 2002-11-18
Posts 2587Pencilveinia, USA |
you can read my past hey? gawd how i have built walls, and then smashed them down, and thought, to hell with it, i'll give it a go. it may break your heart, but it's living i suppose, and most definately loving. and worth all the pain exposing ouselves brings with it. love how ya make me think gal. even if it does send me mental.  |
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Wind
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981 |
I am 14 thanks to all of you. I said I'm going to buy a gun and start a war, |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
This is a very cool write...its down right lyrical. And I love the clever analogy and word play. Delightful writing poetess Liz... and its so good to have you back in poetry land. All I can feel is this distance between you and me. |
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Wind
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981 |
Yay! more people I said I'm going to buy a gun and start a war, |
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El_Campeador Senior Member
since 2003-01-29
Posts 761Ohio, USA |
Good job, for a fourteen year old. I wish I had started writing poetry that early. When I was younger, I liked to write limericks, but I didn't discover my gift in writing poetry until I was 19. I'm 21 now, still young, but not quite as young as you are. Blessings, El Campeador “We are all travelers in the wilderness of this world, and the best that we can find in our travels is an honest friend.” –Robert Louis Stevenson |
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ambrish Member
since 2003-03-27
Posts 257India |
excellent poem with subtle emotions |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
"I took a stone and threw it down, you picked it up off of the ground, I took a torch and let it burn, you told me flame was no concern I took the wall and I built a door, I can hide from you no more I tried to make you stay away, but honey, it feels much better this way." Your poetry and perception is amazing Liz. And all the more given your advanced age. BTW...flame is always a concern! |
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Wind
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981 |
yea...umm thanks... Although I must say that it hurts me to hear "good job...for a 14-year old" I hope that's not all you think I am. I said I'm going to buy a gun and start a war, If you can tell me something worth fighting for -coldplay [This message has been edited by Wind (06-30-2003 06:15 PM).] |
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