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LastMoments
Member

since 2003-03-07

Posts 92

0 posted 2003-06-25 01:13 AM

Everytime I found you
I found myself
Everytime I found you
Just ripping me apart
Taking my soft hand
You stained it
Broadened by your lies
And now I'm stuck here
Waiting in your cries
Listening to my insides
But my insides are so far away

Every day
A new line painted
In the deepest parts of me
Unlocking hidden gateways
Opening cloaked doors
A new person to believe
And yet I still find myself
So lost inside the past
I can't forget the you
That still hides inside

I wish
That I could go
And slowly waste away
And in the winter born ashes
Bathe away my grief
Yet I can't forget
It's too much to let go
There is the me
That lies inside of you
There is the me
THat just wont let go

Consider me your companion
The strength that stays alive
Cause I can't forget you
You made me who I am

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

1 posted 2003-06-25 01:19 AM

"I wish
That I could go
And slowly waste away
And in the winter born ashes
Bathe away my grief
Yet I can't forget
It's too much to let go
There is the me
That lies inside of you
There is the me
That just wont let go"

excellent

........and a title? What Remains

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

2 posted 2003-06-25 02:18 AM

I like this too....

and I followed Sea's interpretation, and was actually astonished to read her suggested title: "what remains"--

and before I saw her answer, I was thinking "Shroud"...

CocoBaci
Member Elite

since 2000-05-06

Posts 3043

3 posted 2003-06-25 03:01 AM

And yet I still find myself
So lost inside the past
I can't forget the you
That still hides inside

Your poem touches my heart...
Thanx4sharing...
Smiles2uPoetFriend
*~coco~*

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

4 posted 2003-06-25 03:45 AM

my first thought was "Kept" or "Unending"

littlewing
Member Rara Avis

since 2003-03-02

Posts 9655
New York

5 posted 2003-06-26 06:29 AM

Awesome insight!

title . . . hmmmmmmm

"Self - Portrait"

yes I know I am strange . . .
xxoo

[This message has been edited by littlewing (06-26-2003 06:29 AM).]

timothysangel1973

Senior Member

since 2001-12-03

Posts 1725
Never close enough

6 posted 2003-06-26 12:12 PM

much enjoyed!

As far as a title...hmmm, let me think on that one...

Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant

since 2000-04-26

Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium

7 posted 2003-06-26 12:18 PM

nice poem... Titlewise...
"Hidden inside" or maybe just "inside"

well...

regards
sudhir

Pilgrimage
Member Elite

since 2001-12-04

Posts 3945
Texas, USA

8 posted 2003-06-26 12:33 PM

I felt the ache in this one. Maybe 'Within' for a title?

Nan (Pilgrim variety)

Wind

Member Elite

since 2002-10-12

Posts 2981

9 posted 2003-06-26 12:35 PM

the last line "just won't let go" If you have trouble finding a tile, look at your last line. Great poem, I really enjoyed it.

I said I'm going to buy a gun and start a war,
If you can tell me something worth fighting for
-coldplay

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