Twisted ranting from cubicle three

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Brad Majors

Member Elite

since 2001-04-03

Posts 2647
Georgia

0 posted 2003-06-23 01:59 PM

Dislaimer- I wan't sure about how offensive this migh appear so if it needs to be moved so be it.It offended my mind so it needed a grave so here it is. Enjoy it, hate it, curse me in your sleep. Also no fish or sheep were harmed in the making of this poem.

I remember the fateful day
of summer when
we met
it was hot lust
when I saw you
perspiration falling off
your shiny glass lips

I was reading Ginsburg
in the park
trying hard to look smart
so girls would want me
because even my mom
said I was ugly
failing
because my book was
upside down

I try to get out
but my work always
finds me
my pager a leash
in my world of middle management
mediocrity

Ever since we met
you took my world
on such a trip
my feet have never
touch the ground
since

Now being Dilbert
isn't as bad
every time I taste those
sweet fruity lips
being a loser isn't
so sad

Oh you are
my vasoline
When the world is screwing
me
you numb the pain
through
my
anal lobotomy

You don't talk much
but I don't care
now I found someone to listen
to my bizarre fantasies
everywhere

You heard about strange things
that turn me on
my fetish with nympho fish
and my dominatrix
who is really a sheep

When I told you I was barney
and I was King of Spain
you only purred just
the same
I told you about playboys
my mother never found
you didn't act shocked
and even stuck around.

My boss thinks I live
for him
or he must because he
works me to death
Piling on work just for me
enough for three
But

When I sneak away with
I am the king of my world
even if its only
6 X 3

Oh Caffeine
you are my vasonline
when the world is
screwing me
you make the pain go away
during my anal lobotomy

I love you caffeine
please never leave
blow up
work
women
and the IRS
so there is only
you
me and poetry

Oh caffeine
you are my vasonline..

[This message has been edited by Brad Majors (06-23-2003 02:25 PM).]

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

1 posted 2003-06-23 02:09 PM

LOL
Your choice of lobotomy location is
bizarre; has cubicle three got you all pretzeled up?
I'll drink another cup of java and wonder all day if you are OK.

Brad Majors

Member Elite

since 2001-04-03

Posts 2647
Georgia

2 posted 2003-06-23 02:10 PM

Thanks for putting up with me

As far as being ok the jury is still out on that one.

[This message has been edited by Brad Majors (06-23-2003 02:13 PM).]

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

3 posted 2003-06-23 02:17 PM

Well, if I became jury fore(wo)man I'd say that you are guilty...of being creative and daring and definitely unique.

Edder
Senior Member

since 2003-04-02

Posts 671

4 posted 2003-06-23 02:21 PM

as a recovering caffine addict "ice water, please" i feel your pain. terrific write

Brad Majors

Member Elite

since 2001-04-03

Posts 2647
Georgia

5 posted 2003-06-23 02:27 PM

Thank you!

Cpat Hair

Member Patricius

since 2001-06-05

Posts 11793

6 posted 2003-06-23 02:44 PM

(chuckling).... well... if it wasn't for coffee and Mt Dew I'd never make it through a work day... as for a labotomy and vaseline.. not sure I relate...

interesting piece Brad.

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean

since 2002-08-27

Posts 40215
Realms of Light

7 posted 2003-06-23 03:10 PM

Sounds like you need a hemorrhoidectomy instead of a lobotomy, but perhaps a lobotomy wouldn't be a bad idea either--just move the operative site to above your ears! LOL