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KoKo
Senior Member

since 2003-02-15

Posts 995
Inside the shadow's shadow

0 posted 2003-05-01 02:46 PM

It was different when
You told me you loved me I
Can't grip the changes you've made in
Everything that surrounds me is
Turning gray, matching the color of
My heart is tearing and shedding
Tears on my window lead to
Other worlds beckon me and
I can't find my way through
The thorns of your heart prick me...
And the blood scatters to
Safer places look so tempting that
I'm scared, shaking, I'm falling through
The traps of your heart have locked me
Inside my soul is a place
I'm scared to find without
You are not by my side.

I do not know whether I was then a man dreaming I was a butterfly, or whether I am now a butterfly dreaming I am a man.
--Chang Tzu

[This message has been edited by KoKo (05-02-2003 11:23 AM).]

regards2you
Member Elite

since 2002-10-01

Posts 3940
California

1 posted 2003-05-01 02:51 PM

Ah KoKo, So well written this put tears in my eyes.

(That is the sign of a good poem)

Hugs, Pat

..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
"Desiderata"

KoKo
Senior Member

since 2003-02-15

Posts 995
Inside the shadow's shadow

2 posted 2003-05-01 02:53 PM

Aaaaaw, thank you Pat. ~hands you a tissue and takes one for herself~ That means alot to me, thanks

I do not know whether I was then a man dreaming I was a butterfly, or whether I am now a butterfly dreaming I am a man.
--Chang Tzu

Brad Majors

Member Elite

since 2001-04-03

Posts 2647
Georgia

3 posted 2003-05-01 03:47 PM

nice

KoKo
Senior Member

since 2003-02-15

Posts 995
Inside the shadow's shadow

4 posted 2003-05-01 03:49 PM

Thanks Brad!

I do not know whether I was then a man dreaming I was a butterfly, or whether I am now a butterfly dreaming I am a man.
--Chang Tzu

sister3of4
Junior Member

since 2003-04-11

Posts 16
Northumberland, England

5 posted 2003-05-01 03:57 PM

I like the way each line lead to the next, then starts a new thought. Clever.

KoKo
Senior Member

since 2003-02-15

Posts 995
Inside the shadow's shadow

6 posted 2003-05-01 03:59 PM

Thanks sister3of4

I do not know whether I was then a man dreaming I was a butterfly, or whether I am now a butterfly dreaming I am a man.
--Chang Tzu

Ericc
Member Elite

since 2003-01-31

Posts 4178

7 posted 2003-05-01 07:11 PM

Excellent writing...so creative and flowing.
Eric

Mistletoe Angel

Member Empyrean

since 2000-12-17

Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon

8 posted 2003-05-01 10:44 PM

(big hugggsssssss) Oh Lauren, I hope everything is okay, sweet friend, this is very heartfelt and may you always free free with your love and may all the dishonesty and lies be imprisoned for life behind the portcullis! (sigh) God Bless You, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Lauren, thank you for sharing!

May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

Underneath your clothes, there's an endless story

***Shakira***

[This message has been edited by Mistletoe Angel (05-01-2003 10:44 PM).]

poetSeaMaiden
Member

since 2003-04-25

Posts 107

9 posted 2003-05-02 09:22 AM

Oh yeah, me too! I LOVE the way one line seems to "roll" into another! Makes it very interesting to read that way. This is so sad, but I LIKE it so much! Bravissimo!!

~ Poets cry with words, not always tears, you see. ~ PoetSeaMaiden

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean

since 2002-08-27

Posts 40215
Realms of Light

10 posted 2003-05-02 09:31 AM

KoKo ~

You sure know how to get people to commiserate with you! --I think I'm going to need some hugs as well! Very moving writing!

Warm, loving hugs,
EA

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