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Jaime

Registered

Member
Posts 250

0 posted 2003-04-26 06:43 AM

I am circling the
corpse of our beginnings
and I hear the whispers
of our history
somewhere far away
being stapled
frantically to the
background

I am too busy walking
to cry now, but maybe later
when the sun has dripped
itself from the sky
and this polluted aquarium
has created a wall between
me and the stars

when I have nothing to
gaze at, nothing to hope for
and no reason to continue
except for the habit of
surviving - maybe then
I'll cry

I'll cry for what could
have been, and for what will
never be. For this violation.
For this suicide. For this
so called democracy and our
fists full of what was never
freedom

And then I'll walk on,
ignoring the corpse left
behind of all of our
promises spoken but never
held in faith

It is the only thing
left to do, illusions were
never sufficient screws
in the hinges of doors
leading to progress

But we value them even
more than our money, so
never let them go and hold
on for your life, pray that
your God will save you
simply for talking about
fighting the good fight

042203

the faeries creep into my hair at night leaving it in terrible knots

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

1 posted 2003-04-26 10:16 AM

I am circling the
corpse of our beginnings
and I hear the whispers
of our history
somewhere far away
being stapled
frantically to the
background

I am too busy walking
to cry now, but maybe later
when the sun has dripped
itself from the sky
and this polluted aquarium
has created a wall between
me and the stars
==============================

you have some poetically brilliant analogies and personifications in this angsty expressive write.
You have a very unique and impressive style of writing poetess Jaime. Well done.

You're the best I've ever felt ...
it's so wrong not to be with you.
It's getting harder to stay away,
it stops my heart just to be with you.

SH

littlewing
Member Rara Avis

since 2003-03-02

Posts 9655
New York

2 posted 2003-04-26 10:20 AM

Jaime:

pray that
your God will save you
simply for talking about
fighting the good fight

and out punching you come . . .
xxoo

Dark Angel
Member Patricius

since 1999-08-04

Posts 10095

3 posted 2003-04-27 12:09 PM

Terrific images here Jaime.. I enjoyed very much.

Maree

poetSeaMaiden
Member

since 2003-04-25

Posts 107

4 posted 2003-04-27 08:03 AM

Oh, I'm definately with Janet Marie - yeah, what she said! Wonderfully painful analogies here - I just LOVE that style of writing! Occasionally, I'm lucky enough to spit out some good ones too, but this is GREAT! I can't even begin to pick my favorite lines out here. *clapping!*

wranx
Member Elite

since 2002-06-07

Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn

5 posted 2003-04-27 08:05 AM

Thoughtful and thought provoking...

Liked this much

~wranx

"The shortest distance between two points is.....sometimes intolerable"

~Bukowski~

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