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Open Poetry #26
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"tattered coats"
| Open Poetry #26 |
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"tattered coats" |
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gyiel marlok Member
since 2003-06-08
Posts 145OHIO |
i'll wake up from sleeping on the sun tattered coats and relics..recluse shunned the prattle is murmurred into a bubble of stonecold obscurity...now the navigations,gauges are going haywire...and newblood...has severed it's inciting, to decaying stars..that a holocaust isn't subjected to just one offerings burning... the guards grape ivory..fly down chanters bio-bloodguilt and an exoskeletons' firstlight is, shed this m***erf***er is foudroyant..not a moment less has drunken witches broo been consumed in hysteria... and the lament is drunk of sterile venom.. let's run with the millipedes...the trials are at a stampede,don't deny... the spirits relieve the pipestone,prosaic cultivation thrown.balancing geodes forming in the wakeless thrones.. we had it all..possesed daggerlike love that is raw...now fall the lithurgy burned at the stake light the match to see the face the callow one...do you hear those groans how entombed i've been this whole raod.. tap dancing on your pedastal.. mute and overdrawn... i'll wake up from sleeping on the sun.. |
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| © Copyright 2003 GYIEL MARLOK - All Rights Reserved | |||
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gyiel marlok Member
since 2003-06-08
Posts 145OHIO |
to all that read this please be frank |
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gyiel marlok Member
since 2003-06-08
Posts 145OHIO |
what's the point in posting if nobody even reads what you post |
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
You don't have a critique message, but you've asked for frank replies. So, here's frank Your work is no doubt read, and even enjoyed (I read it AND enjoyed it). But the piece IS somewhat obtuse and intensly stylized. Plus, your seemingly haphazard use of grammer and the many misspellings are a bit off-putting for most readers. (Trust me on this) You have a nice way with the surreal and I'd like to see more. "The shortest distance between two points is.....sometimes intolerable" |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
I didn't understand it, way over my head...sorry |
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