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Open Poetry #26
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crimson tear
Member
since 2003-06-07
Posts 76
Massachusetts

0 posted 2003-06-07 10:14 PM


this place is full of memories
they burn my soul
and pull me into darkness
being here without you
my mind attacks
forcing me to relive this ordeal
i wish you were here
i wish i could hold you
but you are far out of reach
embracing pain
for the life of me i can't imagine
where we went wrong
we had it all
but then we fell
i see this so clearly
the pain i can almost taste
i don't want to face this without you
i don't think i'll make it
all my dreams inside
breathing their dying breaths
i need you here
but you run from my love
you run to torture yourself
torture me
but i will never leave you
i would follow you to the ends of the earth
and right off the edge
all for you


© Copyright 2003 shane - All Rights Reserved
SarBear
Member
since 2003-06-05
Posts 205
Massachusetts
1 posted 2003-06-07 10:16 PM


Good introduction for yourself.  Welcome brother hahaha.  its a reallllly good poem shane and its not like i can insult you cause ur the one who insults me.  im right next door if you need me.
laurie
Member
since 2003-05-28
Posts 153
canada, ontario
2 posted 2003-06-07 10:21 PM


not bad, man. not bad at all. a little grammer might help, but not bad... it coudl just be me, too..
laurie.
ps. welcome to pips, l think you'll like it here.

QjQ
Member Elite
since 2003-04-18
Posts 3756
U.S.A.
3 posted 2003-06-07 10:24 PM


welcome,,  good write....

Poetry is a vision that portrays ones impressions.QjQ

the_loner_23
Member Ascendant
since 2002-06-08
Posts 5479
Jacksonville, Florida, USA
4 posted 2003-06-07 10:31 PM


Welcome to Passions!!! This is a great introduction piece. I enjoyed it.

Cold hands means a warm heart

Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
5 posted 2003-06-08 01:16 AM




(sigh) This is a very heartfelt debut, sweet friend, love truly is like some narcotic and the addiction never seems to go away, that's both the beauty and curse love offers! Welcome to Passions, sweet friend, may you be inspired by all of us here as we will all be inspired by your lovely words! I can't wait to read more of your lovely words, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet friend, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

Underneath your clothes, there's an endless story

***Shakira***

littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
6 posted 2003-06-08 02:57 AM


Shane:

you wrote about my life up there . . .

ooh too close to home

Welcome to PIP!
nice entrance
xxoo

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
7 posted 2003-06-08 03:48 AM


welcome to Passions!
Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
8 posted 2003-06-08 11:48 AM


Welcome to Pips, Shane!
Good entrance write, one many can feel a connection with, as love isn't always gentle and kind.

(And thanks to your sister )

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
9 posted 2003-06-08 03:47 PM


Unfortunatly it doesn't always work out and so we learn to let go and move on...James
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
10 posted 2003-06-09 09:36 AM



Welcome to Passions!  We have a lot of true family members who belong in these walls of blue...it's nice that the poetic feelings run through both you and your sister.  

Please, check your E-mail for a Special Greeting!

Karilea - if I whisper, will you listen?

joyfull girl
Junior Member
since 2003-06-10
Posts 15

11 posted 2003-06-10 10:32 AM


It's a good poem the feeling is definatly there.  Man it makes it hard to read when there is so much emotion. Good choices in vocabulary here. Keep it up I want to read more ;-)

[This message has been edited by joyfull girl (06-10-2003 10:52 AM).]

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
12 posted 2003-06-10 10:37 AM


Welcome!!!

Now about that dark place you are in....throw open the doors and come out and see the rest of the world!

Susan

crimson tear
Member
since 2003-06-07
Posts 76
Massachusetts
13 posted 2003-06-10 12:04 PM


actually this is a poem i wrote a while ago while i was going through a particularly elongated and painful breakup with my girlfriend of two years. Things are just so complicated and hard when that much time is involved. But i am over it and i'm very happy with my life at this point. Which is good for me but leaves me without alot to write about.

[This message has been edited by crimson tear (06-10-2003 12:16 PM).]

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