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Open Poetry #26
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jaysh
Member
since 2003-04-16
Posts 133
IL, USA

0 posted 2003-06-04 03:59 PM


To have your fears turn around, and laugh in your face,
With those certain emotions you yearn to erase.
I said what I felt, don’t you know what I mean?
Do you not understand? DO you know anything?
I mean half of the time, I don’t know how you feel,
Why not just tell me? What is the deal?
You just let it build up, and blame it on me,
That’s how it goes, but not how it should be,
I guess I’m beyond your small understanding,
That’s why I’m prepared for a rough rigid landing,
So do as you please, without knowing why,
Crush my heart, like a stupid, normal guy,
Who thinks he is to good, to let feelings show,
When just to be happy, you could of let me know.
Just what your thinking, or what’s on your mind,
I wish we could leave all this misery behind,
The one thing I need is understanding of you,
Without open feelings what can I do?
Just keep my mouth shut, and not say a thing?
Is that the way our relationship will remain?
Its not really hard to express what’s inside,
I really do care, you have no reason to hide,
Please listen just once, what I want you to do,
Confess all your feelings, so I understand you.

© Copyright 2003 Janna Jae Shaffer - All Rights Reserved
Mysteria
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Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
1 posted 2003-06-04 04:23 PM


Men!  Your rhyme scheme was very good although you lost the "abab" a couple of times the the intregity of the poem didn't suffer.  Nicely done.

                        

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
2 posted 2003-06-05 04:53 AM


liked this!
brezee
Member
since 2003-06-02
Posts 140

3 posted 2003-06-06 05:15 AM


"J" this was great, if it was about the bagel, it's understandable lol he's crazy, keep up the good work!
Manth88
Junior Member
since 2003-06-15
Posts 45
IL, USA
4 posted 2003-06-18 02:09 AM


Hey Janna, great writing, hope you do more.

!^*Manth88*^!

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