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1slick_lady
Member Ascendant

since 2000-12-22

Posts 6088
standing on a shadow's lace

0 posted 2003-06-03 04:41 PM

She Was

there they stood eye to eye
each on a different side
of no passing
she looked straight through
where he could only see
the image of how things are
her eyes touched tenderness
and lovingly leaned forward
to kiss each pain in
deep scars that run beneath
the skin that he
only saw as ugly
sadly he could not
see past the smears
as hard as she knocked
for had he have looked closer
he could have seen
she was his reflection

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

1 posted 2003-06-03 06:05 PM

"for had he have looked closer
he could have seen
she was his reflection"

my goodness, that is so sad....

majnu

Senior Member

since 2002-10-13

Posts 1088
SF Bay Area

2 posted 2003-06-03 07:09 PM

remarkable. your slow pace was wonderful.

-majnu
--------------------------------------
Timid thoughts be not afraid. I am a Poet.

Joe Houck
Member

since 2001-04-23

Posts 324
california

3 posted 2003-06-03 07:28 PM

had to read this one twice....very odd stuff. makes you think a little...I liked this a lot.
Joe

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-25

Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...

4 posted 2003-06-03 07:42 PM

Helen~
I've read this several times now, and it becomes
more beautiful, yet more heartbreaking with every read.
Hugs to you,
~Vicky
"...until you have read the verse on his heart,
you have not truly met the poet.
~vlraynes

yv
Senior Member

since 2003-05-30

Posts 574

5 posted 2003-06-03 07:48 PM

Wow!! Absolutely hypnotizing. I loved this poem. It just made my heart stop and the pace of my breath quicken. What more is there to say except awesome, awesome, AWESOME!!!

Junior Member,
yv

Roniece Dawson-Bruce
Member Ascendant

since 2000-01-29

Posts 5689
Sydney, Australia

6 posted 2003-06-03 08:35 PM

You have written this piece extremely well - I loved it!! Ciao Bella Roniece

jwesley
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-04-30

Posts 7563
Spring, Texas

7 posted 2003-06-03 08:54 PM

Awesome...slick!!

jwesley

bslicker

Member Elite

since 2000-12-04

Posts 2321
state of mind

8 posted 2003-06-04 08:18 AM

bump

A smile a day keeps the world in smile's.
Bernie Slicker

CastleGuard
Senior Member

since 2003-04-30

Posts 760
Alberta, Canada

9 posted 2003-06-04 11:35 AM

Beautifully done. The brevity of the words belies the richness of emotion; feelings, and the message contained within.

Love the closing lines. Delivered with direct impact and well-aimed thrust.

Your poems remind me a bit of some of Emily Dickinson's...

CG

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

10 posted 2003-06-04 01:05 PM

quite sad indeed...some will never really see at all

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-18

Posts 7350
the ass-end of space

11 posted 2003-06-07 05:15 PM

ouch

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