Open Poetry #26 |
Walking Between Worlds |
icebox Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383in the shadows |
Sleep eludes me, hiding in the mists, in the dark abyss, in shadow splintered clouds of faces, places, memories swirling, tangled at the water's edge of dreams, tendrils of the dragon's breath beckon me to sleep that I may see, disjointed thoughts caught in the skein of time taunting me with flashing half imagined half remembered scenes of you. Six times this night I lay my body down to sleep to loose the thread of harsh reality to be set free to drift to swim in supple seas that beckon me, translucent lotus petals sailing free on gentle waves on currents soft with scented possibilities, warming visions just beyond the reach of clarity, I sense the cleansing purity of you. Six times as I begin to slip away into the sheltered harbor of your love, to seek the welcomed grasp of love's swift undertow, my body and my brain are jolted out of sleep, out of timeless reverie and I am tossed back, unwanted driftwood left disheveled and abandoned on the beachhead of my life. I am this night in search of peace yet each attempt meets cold futility; some years on rare occasions, in late September when the moon and tides are right, on a beach not far from where I live today I've learned I can smell Africa lightly on the breeze as taste that lingers in the mind without my body being there. My brain adds hours to a clock that tells me you are sleeping, if only I can reach a place within the soft parade of dreams you may be keeping, I might join you in brief endless woven moments of hopeful shared awareness and delight, but not this night, this night you are the taste that lingers in the mind when I am hungry. ©2003 by Icebox |
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© Copyright 2003 icebox - All Rights Reserved | |||
QjQ Member Elite
since 2003-04-18
Posts 3756U.S.A. |
very interesting write, i enjoyed It's the quality of the complement that i feel, not the quanity. |
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SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
I am so completely blown away....I started to copy my favorite part, then, sheesh....IT'S ALL MY FAVORITE PART! wow, I am putting this in my library and will seek out your poetry from now on.... excellent! |
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CaseyLeigh Junior Member
since 2003-05-15
Posts 48 |
"taunting me with flashing half imagined half remembered scenes of you" this has a lot of great lines in it, but that one is my favorite. |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
very good very good |
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Chameleon Member
since 2002-08-07
Posts 99Australia |
"Six times this night I lay my body down to sleep to loose the thread of harsh reality to be set free to drift to swim in supple seas that beckon me, translucent lotus petals sailing free on gentle waves on currents soft with scented possibilities, warming visions just beyond the reach of clarity, I sense the cleansing purity of you." The images and sincerety of these words, are like a warm rain shower on a cold dank day. |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Six times this night I lay my body down to sleep to loose the thread of harsh reality to be set free to drift to swim in supple seas that beckon me, translucent lotus petals sailing free on gentle waves on currents soft with scented possibilities, warming visions just beyond the reach of clarity, I sense the cleansing purity of you. Six times as I begin to slip away into the sheltered harbor of your love, to seek the welcomed grasp of love's swift undertow, my body and my brain are jolted out of sleep, out of timeless reverie and I am tossed back, unwanted driftwood left disheveled and abandoned on the beachhead of my life. I am this night in search of peace yet each attempt meets cold futility; some years on rare occasions, in late September when the moon and tides are right, on a beach not far from where I live today I've learned I can smell Africa lightly on the breeze as taste that lingers in the mind without my body being there. ======================== there are the rare and exquisite times when I read a poem and I am left near speechless and breathless for the words of the poem speaks so eloquently of my own heart....saying the words I all too often now cant find for myself. thank you for this moment of rare. outstanding write poet sir...amazing. Im still imagining your voice ... can see the sparkle in your eyes. I cant explain your power over me Its understated understood & beautiful. cj [This message has been edited by Janet Marie (05-31-2003 08:08 AM).] |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Icebox - I'm really enjoying your work - and I'm so pleased that you've joined our ranks so that I can continue to read your poetry... Very nice, sir... |
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scorpio Member Ascendant
since 2002-10-02
Posts 5178right...there |
I like the way you spin a phrase...most enjoyed.. believe in what your heart feels... |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
My my but this is excellent writing.....What super delivery and thought provoking processes come to light in this piece...........thoroughly enjoyed this! |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
my poetry fridge is filling quickly this is a most amazing write have I told you yet how much I love reading your pen? |
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GG Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532Lost in thought |
I don't know what more to say then... Woah! And, mind if I keep this in my library? good! I will. Always, Alyssa - And so it was that time stood still - |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Stunning. shaking my head here. I exit saying only that I'm delighted with YOU and annoyed with ME... |
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Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
A very cool poem-- well done J There is society where none intrudes, by the deep sea, and music in its roar. |
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icebox Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383in the shadows |
QjQ ~ I am glad you enjoyed it. Thank you for commenting. SEA ~ What a generous comment! Thank you for reading my work and for commenting. CaseyLeigh ~ *smile* Thank you. It is a concept which I think is common among poets. passing shadows ~ I am glad you like this. Thank you for taking time to comment. Chameleon ~ Thank you for reading my poem and for your comment. I hope your day has sunshine. Janet Marie ~ Thank you for your comment. It is a beautiful and poetic picture. Nan ~ That is a very kind thing to say. I appreciate it. scorpio ~ Well, you know it often feels exactly like spinning when I am writing. Thank you for reading it. I hope it did not make you dizzy! *smile* ethome ~ Thank you. I am glad you enjoyed it. Midnitesun ~ *laugh* They don't need to be refrigerated! I am glad you like my pen. That reminds me about a joke about reading a tattoo that said, "Welcome to Jamaica mon, have a nice day" but I think an explanation would run afoul of the rules here. GG ~ I am glad you enjoyed my poem. By all means, keep anything you like. serenity blaze ~ *smile* If I stop posting for a while, will you then feel better about you? Jaime ~ Thank you. I am glad you enjoyed it. |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
If I had three wishes, one of them would be to write like this. (One would involve a blonde and the other would probably be illegal.) Your poetry is about the coolest stuff to hit these pages in awhile. I enjoy reading you very much. |
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Songbird Member Elite
since 1999-12-15
Posts 2184Missouri |
Believe this is the first one of your poems I have have read.. and it is truly amazing, while you may had a disturbed sleep you certainly have written a smooth dreamlike poem. I would love to hear you read it. |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
icebox You write a poem, I read, and I'm swept into your feeling without realizing they are words, just words...knowing they are more. That is a gift. |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
in late September when the moon and tides are right, on a beach not far from where I live today I've learned I can smell Africa lightly on the breeze as taste that lingers in the mind without my body being there. ============================= but not this night, this night you are the taste that lingers in the mind when I am hungry. ============================== I am getting ready to call it a night and wanted to read this beauty as my last poem for the night. Perhaps I'll dream of my late Septmember solstice beside the tides. Think I'll tuck this in my library for future late night reads. |
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apoetdreams Member
since 2003-06-01
Posts 52NJ, USA |
My brain adds hours to a clock that tells me you are sleeping, if only I can reach a place within the soft parade of dreams you may be keeping This line jumped out into my own world. Love this poem.... kristy Make your words as sweet as honey, someday you may have to eat them. |
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icebox Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383in the shadows |
Duncan ~ Three wishes? Now there's a thought! *smile* Thank you for reading my poem and for taking the time to comment. I am glad you enjoyed this. Songbird ~ Thank you. That is a very kind thing to say to any poet. I appreciate you taking the time to read my poem and to comment. Martie ~ *smile* If a poem is read in a wooded glen, do the oaks applaud, do the willows weep? When the circumstances are proper, the hand's touch is welcomed on the skin; when contact is impossible, words if welcomed may touch the soul. Thank you for reading my poem and for allowing me to share a thought. I appreciate your comments. Janet Marie ~ *smile* I am honored. We have entered June and the Summer Solstice is just around the corner. Can Autumn be far behind? Thank you for your comments. I hope your dreams rest gently on your soul. |
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icebox Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383in the shadows |
apoetdreams ~ *smile* I did not mean to intrude upon your world. I hope that you enjoy the thought, as I appreciate your comment. Welcome to PIP! |
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Honeybunch Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-29
Posts 7115South Africa |
I've been away for a weekend in the African bush where gentle sun shines from a clear blue sky and warms the chill of reality - for a time, a short time. You are an amazing writer and I truly understand this poem. |
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icebox Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383in the shadows |
Honeybunch ~ Hello my friend! I hope you had a wonderful time out in the bush where the earth still understands humans as a passing fancy. Thank you for reading my poem, for your comments and for your continued friendship. |
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Patricia Member Elite
since 2003-04-06
Posts 2160Missouri |
Mr. Icebox, With each line, I could feel my heart beating faster and faster. This is an exquisite level of writing. Your images are wonderous, to say the least. I am glad for the opportunity today to savor your work! I think I can learn a great deal from you! Patricia |
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joelle New Member
since 2003-04-01
Posts 8 |
"this night you are the taste that lingers in my mind when I am hungry" what a wonderful ending to one of the best poems I have ever read! Your writing amazes me! |
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snowpants Member Elite
since 2000-09-16
Posts 2061KS |
"Six times as I begin to slip away into the sheltered harbor of your love, to seek the welcomed grasp of love's swift undertow, my body and my brain are jolted out of sleep, out of timeless reverie and I am tossed back, unwanted driftwood left disheveled and abandoned on the beachhead of my life. I am this night in search of peace yet each attempt meets cold futility; some years on rare occasions, in late September when the moon and tides are right, on a beach not far from where I live today I've learned I can smell Africa lightly on the breeze as taste that lingers in the mind without my body being there." this is awesome, icebox...that's a pretty shallow word for such a write as this...but I'm glad a friend of mine told me to check this one out...hit home in a way, as I just moved from the ocean myself (don't ask me why)...and I am desperately missing those tides...thanks for sharing this...I will definitely read this a few more times.... sp just a hang-up call and the quiet breathing of our persian we call cajun on a wednesday... |
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icebox Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383in the shadows |
Patricia ~ Thank you for reading my poem and for sharing your comments. Please be careful with your heart, it has to last a lifetime! *smile* |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Icebox, with my being in a long-distance relationship with my Honey-Love, I feel like we are "Walking Between Worlds" quite often. This, especially, I relate to... My brain adds hours to a clock that tells me you are sleeping, if only I can reach a place within the soft parade of dreams you may be keeping, I might join you in brief endless woven moments of hopeful shared awareness and delight, but not this night, this night you are the taste that lingers in the mind when I am hungry. I hope you don't mind if I keep it, too? I want to study your writing. Hugs Ethel |
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icebox Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383in the shadows |
joelle ~ Welcome to PIP! Thank you for reading my poem and for your very kind comment. I hope you stay and enjoy this place. snowpants ~ The ocean, for me is the Mother. There have been times in my life when I have lived far from any ocean...but I never liked it. When I lived in the mountains of northwest North America, I used to go to one of the small rivers near my house and put my hand in it trying to feel the sea as the waters rushed toward it. It worked...sometimes. *smile* Thank you for reading my poem and for your comment. I hope it may have brought some fond memories of your favorite ocean. |
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icebox Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383in the shadows |
garysgirl ~ Oh, contrary to what the phone company says, long distance seldom is the next best thing to being there. I wish you luck with this. Thank you for reading my poem and for your comments. Of course you may keep it! I am glad it pleased you. Pleasant dreams. |
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