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Open Poetry #26
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QjQ
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since 2003-04-18
Posts 3756
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0 posted 2003-05-30 09:26 PM


The Saga of a Prince

As a lonely prince i lay awake hearing
your song of love in distress.
awaken i saddle my steed and with a
thundering of hooves race to capture
your plea.
in the darkness of night i see the candle
flickering in your window casting your
silhouette.
with the dust drifting and the moon
peeking through clouds i cross the
wooden bridge.
closer i get to your song, brighter the
candle glows.
my heart pounds with the rhythm of my
steeds hooves pounding the bridge as i
cross.
through the open gates and into the
garden i ride, only to see two silhouettes
in the moon light embraced.
with ache in my heart and tears on my
face i draw my shining sword ending
my dolour.




It's the quality of the complement that i feel, not the quanity.


[This message has been edited by QjQ (06-01-2003 07:41 PM).]

© Copyright 2003 gMt - All Rights Reserved
Mistletoe Angel
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since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
1 posted 2003-05-30 09:54 PM




(big hugggsssssss) For so long I've had to endure the yearning of love, dearest friend, I long to get my first kiss (I'm 19) and wonder what it must feel like as I dream of it seemingly every night! (sigh) May your fair lady always ride beside you from here on in, sweet friend, God Bless You, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Glenn, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

Underneath your clothes, there's an endless story

***Shakira***

passing shadows
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since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
2 posted 2003-05-31 03:56 AM


what a story! love this!
Magnus
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since 2001-10-10
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South Carolina, USA
3 posted 2003-05-31 04:04 PM


Great Job Glenn,  not shabby at all.  Like
it,  and thanx for the link,  sorry I had
missed this....  Hmmmm,  might that have
been I within the silhouette?  Or another
dastardly scoundrel....perhaps?

JilGirl
Member
since 2003-05-24
Posts 364
Washington
4 posted 2003-06-01 02:49 PM


Gracious! What a saga!
Anticipating, exciting beginning
brings the reader to an ending so sad,
yet wondering exactly what the prince used
his sword for (?) I like your style and open
ending! Perhaps there's a "Chapter 2" on the horizon?

Fabulous write!
Blessings!
Shirl

Till oceans cease to flow and deserts lose their sands, may beauty surround you every day and wealth be in your hands.

NewEnglandlazurlu
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-01-04
Posts 7470
A Mountain Paradise
5 posted 2003-06-01 03:28 PM


Wonderful story, but such a sad ending.  
I hope your next one has a happier conclusion.

Huggles, Marti

littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
6 posted 2003-06-01 04:03 PM


glenn:

mann you had me there for a sec

beautiful story - cant we make this one into one of those choose your own ending stories?

briliant write Q
truly
xxoo

Richy
Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 3050

7 posted 2003-06-01 07:11 PM



Dang QjQ, this was amazing! It would be nice if we could choose our happy endings. Problem is, we'd probably make them all happy, and then we wouldn’t know the difference any more. It’s nice to read, how it really happens, sometimes.  

Ahhh heck, they’ll be more princesses. Hang in there QjQ.


Oh, and by the way, it did kinda look like Barry, riding off with her...

Keep that between me and you though, OK?


lol

Richy


QjQ
Member Elite
since 2003-04-18
Posts 3756
U.S.A.
8 posted 2003-06-01 07:17 PM


do to many request heres another ending,

The Saga of a Prince

As a lonely prince i lay awake hearing
your song of love in distress.
awaken i saddle my steed and with a
thundering of hooves race to capture
your plea.
in the darkness of night i see the candle
flickering in your window casting your
silhouette.
with the dust drifting and the moon
peeking through clouds i cross the
wooden bridge.
closer i get to your song, brighter the
candle glows.
my heart pounds with the rhythm of my
steeds hooves pounding the bridge as i
cross.
through the open gates and into the
garden i ride,
As  moon beams flicker through the
boughs, two silhouettes appear, one
is her.

[This message has been edited by QjQ (06-01-2003 07:32 PM).]

Midnitesun
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Gaia
9 posted 2003-06-01 07:44 PM


So, we can change the endings whenever we don't get the one we want? LOL, wish it were true in the real stories.
Good write, Q.
But I do believe it was your reflection bouncing off the mirror, or an optical illusion?

QjQ
Member Elite
since 2003-04-18
Posts 3756
U.S.A.
10 posted 2003-06-01 07:47 PM


Midnitesun,
if at first you don't succeed try again!!

   lol  lmao

[This message has been edited by QjQ (06-01-2003 07:49 PM).]

J. K. Mitchell
Member
since 2002-01-12
Posts 311
GA
11 posted 2003-06-01 07:55 PM


I'm much prefer the first one.  It captures a deep sadness that I can really identify with.  

Both though, were excellent writes!

"Cuidado con mi corazon."--R. Martin

Martie
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since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
12 posted 2003-06-01 08:22 PM


QJQ...I enjoyed them both...the first I agree, brought the romance of sadness to the end.
JilGirl
Member
since 2003-05-24
Posts 364
Washington
13 posted 2003-06-02 02:02 AM


Well, now, there you've gone and done it, QjQ! You've wriggled another reply outa me!
Two endings -- My goodness! With your imagination, There'll probably be MORE!

I, too liked the first one. It left me wondering and that keeps the intrigue.
But, then many of your other writes have kept me hanging, too!

GOOD job on all I've read so far!
Blessings!
Shirl

Till oceans cease to flow and deserts lose their sands, may beauty surround you every day and wealth be in your hands.

Mysteria
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since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
14 posted 2003-06-02 02:05 AM


Very well done and I love Littlewings idea of making this into a choose your own ending story, boy I had a dilly

                        

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