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Open Poetry #26
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Ebb Tide
| Open Poetry #26 |
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Ebb Tide |
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Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven 
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A look was the beginning - the end now glares into eyes which the moon once dropped diamonds, but now reflect growing disillusion. Aged by pain and time, their jeweled brightness eroded - covered in a silted loneliness. You became lost, your eyes uncertain - unfocused and without direction. Soon dust gathered over you, keeping you hidden with an unsafe dullness. You carry on, living within some absurdly muted disquiet. Tediously you tread the surface of unhappiness and with every wish for yesterday sink deeper into dreary silence. Casketed pain is buried in the past - Unforgotten dreams kept hidden beneath a pillow full of tears. There is society where none intrudes, by the deep sea, and music in its roar. |
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| © Copyright 2003 Jamie Patterson - All Rights Reserved | |||
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QjQ Member Elite
since 2003-04-18
Posts 3756U.S.A. |
nice write!!! gMt |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
A look was the beginning - the end now glares into eyes which the moon once dropped diamonds, but now reflect growing disillusion. Aged by pain and time, their jeweled brightness eroded - covered in a silted loneliness. ============================= your imagery and personification are excellent in this melancholy masterpiece. That opening verse is a bittersweet beauty... a sadly lovely write poet sir... so good to see you back in the blue pages Jamie.  Darkness cannot drive out darkness ... only light can do that. |
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the_loner_23 Member Ascendant
since 2002-06-08
Posts 5479Jacksonville, Florida, USA |
Beautifully written but so sad. Cold hands means a warm heart |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
You became lost, your eyes uncertain - unfocused and without direction. Soon dust gathered over you, keeping you hidden with an unsafe dullness. You carry on, living within some absurdly muted disquiet. ~*~ Thus, the outward tide... Well done, Sir. |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Well m'friend... nice to see you here among the blue, have missed you. And this is as always very beautifully penned. Such pensive sadness. I know of this.  Maree p.s keeping it. |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
very sad  |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
... LK |
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Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
Thank you Q JM, Thanks, and I've been here- just kind of in a very quiet way 23, Thanks for thinking so. Sunshine, Thank you Maam. Mmy, Missing you as well, seems the more we need to stay in touch with someone the less time we have available to do it. Guess that means we must try harder. Hugs passing shadows, Thanks very much for taking time to read and reply.  K, ...HK> J |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
I guess it does m'friend. get your Hiny over here now! Pronto! |
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SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
"Tediously you tread the surface of unhappiness and with every wish for yesterday sink deeper into dreary silence." made the song "Disenchanted" run through my mind..... (I like that song) so good to read you again! |
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Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
Mmy-- send ticket  SEA-- Thanks,, and would that be Smash Mouth's version? JThere is society where none intrudes, by the deep sea, and music in its roar. |
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