navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #26 » Gift wrapped
Open Poetry #26
Post A Reply Post New Topic Gift wrapped Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
jellybeans
Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298


0 posted 2003-05-28 03:30 PM


Gift wrapped

Subjective suspense
detailed the penning of me.
My sins and sorrows were uncovered
one by one and inked into darkness.  

I wrote what could not be spoken
and gave life to that
which had want to remain buried.
Of all the blunders recorded in my life
neither my sanity nor lack thereof
were excluded.

I held tightly to my pen
for I thought it a savior, oh so
certain that I would soon
be able to write myself wings.
But my pen and I
we did not fly,

instead with leaden feet
my paper turned cold, unfeeling
and eventually unyielding.
Dreams collapsed inward;
exhaustion was not excused
nor forgiven.

Silence and my pen
argued and angered.
On the altar of absolution
I laid it down – but no respite
was to be found, my words
still had need of pardon.
Round and round they wound,
expanding, awaiting a sky high
explosion.

When back to earth I crashed,
in desperation, I penned a single prayer.
I watched it come to life and soar
upwards…my transformation began.
I gave my pen to God;

He gift-wrapped it
with his blessings and
gave it back again.

[This message has been edited by jellybeans (05-29-2003 01:17 PM).]

© Copyright 2003 jellybeans - All Rights Reserved
suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
1 posted 2003-05-28 03:39 PM


I am so VERY glad you posted this... I was about to email you and beg you to do so... thank you for saving my aching knees! *G*

Reading it again just makes me more impressed... Through trials no one should face, your pen has poured forth your heart's cry... but it couldn't stop the cry or the anguish that caused it... or write a song instead. Now, I think we're really going to be in for a treat... and more importantly, you and your pen will reacquaint yourselves with peace and joy and hope. *S* This is a beautiful song of faith... and one of your best. *S*

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

2 posted 2003-05-28 03:41 PM


You just tickle me. You can take a seemlingly simple subject matter and give it such an in-depth examination...reading you becomes a participatory meditation!

and your first line?

"Subjective suspense detailed the penning of me"

This actually becomes the thing which you describe. Clever girl, you!


jellybeans
Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298

3 posted 2003-05-28 03:58 PM


suthern.....*smile* you know me, posting it makes it 'official' now I can't go back even if I would be crazy enough to want to...thank you lady, for you and your comments

ser...thank you, I rarely start and don't finish a poem, when they come to me they must be written, but this one seemed to hold a vested interest in my future, and I couldn't write the finish I wanted, until it was true...thank you for your comments and your care

Brad Majors
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-04-03
Posts 2647
Georgia
4 posted 2003-05-28 04:16 PM


well done
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
5 posted 2003-05-28 06:30 PM


jellybeans

The trip your poetry took, was your spirit's ride...and the end just perfect, for in the end is the beginning.  Wonderful!

jellybeans
Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298

6 posted 2003-05-28 06:46 PM


brad thank you

martie, yes I think you are right *smiling here* and it is a journey I am looking forward to, for the first time in a very long time....thank you so much for your comments

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #26 » Gift wrapped

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary