Bend - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

LastMoments
Member

since 2003-03-07

Posts 92

0 posted 2003-05-27 09:02 PM

I still remember
As I walk the shorelines
As the tides in my mind
Take form and drift away

I can't forget
The splinter that works its way
Bending and biting it's way
A little deeper, A little farther

A can't avoid
I'm in this constant aggrivation
Like the bitter nightmares in my eyes
Taking form right before me

And as it all envelopes me
I take it all to throw away
I crumble the past as if nothing
Is what I can control

I show that I don't bend
That I can forget
That I will.

Mistletoe Angel

Member Empyrean

since 2000-12-17

Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon

1 posted 2003-05-27 09:19 PM

(big hugggsssssss) Yes, forget it, but don't bend it either...rather let it dissolve away under its own will! (sigh) Here's to never looking back again, God Bless You, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet friend, thank you for sharing!

May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

Underneath your clothes, there's an endless story

***Shakira***

Ratleader

Member Rara Avis

since 2003-01-23

Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass

2 posted 2003-05-27 09:53 PM

Solid. Well done throughout....and this(!):

The splinter that works its way
Bending and biting it's way
A little deeper, A little farther

Just perfect....

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-25

Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...

3 posted 2003-05-27 09:59 PM

LastMoments~
Very nicely written. I felt this one as I read.
Thank you for sharing it.
~Vicky
"...until you have read the verse on his heart,
you have not truly met the poet.
~vlraynes

LastMoments
Member

since 2003-03-07

Posts 92

4 posted 2003-05-27 10:28 PM

Thanks a lot for your compliments, I'm only 18, I'm open for constructive critisism, feel free to give it if you'd like

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

5 posted 2003-05-28 03:06 AM

I enjoyed this the way it is, no critique needed

garysgirl

Member Laureate

since 2002-09-29

Posts 19237
Florida, USA

6 posted 2003-05-28 03:09 AM

Last Moments, this is a very good write.
It's beautiful, even though it is sad.
Hugs,

Ethel

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.