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Open Poetry #26
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Tim
Senior Member
since 1999-06-08
Posts 1794


0 posted 2003-05-26 10:38 PM


If bright of sun would never sleep,
And dark of night would never rise,
Then perchance I would not weep,
Or ever need to close my eyes.
As black night casts out its spell,
Dark shadows reach as tentacles
Pulling me down moss covered well,
Cold waters grasp as manacles
Preventing me from reaching out
In vain for hope, instead I flounder,
No one there to hear my shout,
What is my sin? Why comes night's rounder?
If bright of sun would never sleep,
Then never would come midnight's warnings,
And tears would fade at end of weep,
In ever morn, end of dark's mournings.

[This message has been edited by Tim (05-27-2003 12:19 AM).]

© Copyright 2003 Tim - All Rights Reserved
ecrivan
Member Elite
since 2001-12-10
Posts 3923
my own state
1 posted 2003-05-26 10:43 PM


with so much of our lives spent asleep...I think you've tackled a good topic and get it a surreal slant


passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
2 posted 2003-05-27 03:20 AM


awesome rhyming! great theme!
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
3 posted 2003-05-27 08:53 AM



Ok, this cinches is...I've got to keep practicing on sonnets...you make it look so smooth, so easy...and as beautiful as only you can make them.  Thank you Sir...for this keeper...

snowpants
Member Elite
since 2000-09-16
Posts 2061
KS
4 posted 2003-05-27 09:45 PM


"If bright of sun would never sleep,
Then never would come midnight's warnings,
And tears would fade at end of weep,
In ever morn, end of dark's mournings."

very cool lines...I love the cadence and the theme of this one...excellent job!!

sp

just a hang-up call and the quiet breathing of our persian we call cajun on a wednesday...

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