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Open Poetry #26
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seven (id really like your opinion on this one)
| Open Poetry #26 |
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seven (id really like your opinion on this one) |
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nobody Junior Member
since 2003-05-19
Posts 43 |
1 potato 2 potato 3 potato more dont look donw,youll end up on the floor pick yourself up,wipe off the dirt pain suffering crying hurt look around,make no sound your haunted lost w a n d e r i n g aimlessly being daunted house on a hill murder treason all for no particular reason close your eyes imagine think 1 2 3 make a decision pain inside pain outside dont even try and hide no worry fear drink your beer your ablaze inside angry fired always a victim denied of love 22 24 26 28 times beat cant escape,your head over feet laugh dance enjoy the ride you loved me i loved you but i was the fool stopped school axtacy beating me the things you loved but... hated to see seven days is all it took to love,lose,win,ruin here goes 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 STOP!!! times up think again,now im gone 1 for love 2 a couple 3 is life 4 your wife 5 if fear 6 regret 7 was your last chance seven a film be spielberg Sometimes winning Everyone losing Vanity,hate Enemy within Nothing the day i DIED love was denied and all because... i loved you 7 is the husband cleaning the grave 6 was him leaving,never a glace 5 is the woman he kissed at the gate 4 was the death he caused 3 is the life number,that never touched me 2 was the pieces of my broken heart I KNOW I LOVED 1 is you my rotting body my death my pain you gave me eternal love  [This message has been edited by Nan (05-20-2003 09:09 AM).] |
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| © Copyright 2003 nobody - All Rights Reserved | |||
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teenpoet Member
since 2001-10-17
Posts 280Michigan |
Ummmmm.............so I'm not exactly sure what to say. in the least your poem is intruiging, no doubt. I think that I likr it but it carries such a dark underlay that I'm not entirely too sure. I don't know if today is a good day, or if yesterday was, or if tomorrow will be, but I'd like to think so. |
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QjQ Member Elite
since 2003-04-18
Posts 3756U.S.A. |
interesting and catchy!!! Poetry gives us relief, We give poetry reason. |
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nobody Junior Member
since 2003-05-19
Posts 43 |
one of my friends made up the phrase 'how many ways are there to tell you i love you....just one......you make me want to die' it was kinda written around that theme [This message has been edited by Sunshine (05-20-2003 10:20 AM).] |
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Mistletoe Angel 
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
  (STANDING OVATION) Wow!!! This sure has its twists and turns, the ending especially impacted me, deciding if it was more happy or saddening! I just love all the thoughts in this ramble, especially the Spielberg reference, yay, this is a poignant debut! Welcome to Passions, sweet friend, may you be inspired by all of us here as we will all be inspired by your lovely words! I can't wait to read more of your lovely words, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet friend, thank you for sharing! May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton Underneath your clothes, there's an endless story |
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whiskey
since 1999-12-28
Posts 1278Australia |
Interesting write, I enjoyed the air of happy not sad sad not quite happy theme, Has a bit of everything. definately was intreging. Julie |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
kinda cute, but then kinda not...I dunno...it's interesting though |
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KristieSue
since 2003-01-31
Posts 1460PA, US |
I am imagining that this was written with the mind spinning in a frenzy and a blur of emotions....amazing what love does to us sometimes. Failure isn't failure if a lesson from it is learned ~ KS |
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rm711 Member
since 2002-11-30
Posts 131Wiltshire, England |
i never seem to be able to read anything very long but that was amazing kept me reading had a big impact i like it  I just want something,One thing,Can’t you let me have someone,Anyone,Just for me,And this is what I seem to be,To everybody,Your last resort |
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