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Open Poetry #26
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1slick_lady
Member Ascendant
since 2000-12-22
Posts 6088
standing on a shadow's lace

0 posted 2003-05-18 07:42 PM


Tracking Metal


I boarded
to take
a journey
wheels spun
so fast
metal melting
I saw
the world
in passing
the view
from window
calmed me
then the
train stopped
suddenly before
my ride
was over


© Copyright 2003 Helen Chambers - All Rights Reserved
littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
1 posted 2003-05-18 07:47 PM


Helen:

this sounds like my life . . .

amazing ride here
have missed reading you
brilliant
xxoo

garysgirl
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
2 posted 2003-05-18 08:03 PM


Sccccrrrreeeeccchhhhh!!!  LOL

then the
train stopped
suddenly before
my ride
was over



Helen, I almost felt the train screeching to a sudden stop with this last part. Your writing always makes me feel what I'm reading. Thanks for that.
Hugs,
Ethel

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