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Open Poetry #26
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Yitzy
Junior Member
since 2003-05-12
Posts 30


0 posted 2003-05-18 12:20 PM


Chamberlain’s Charge

The time is now for dissenters to choose
Whether to linger or whether to fight
Fight for freedom, fight for what is right

For many their doom will sweep over them
Like a broom of lead, an upward volley
Or a keen blade in timid hands of rage

Their courageous stand on Little Round Top
Will hinder the enemies’ victory
Stand strong dear Main here comes the first foray

A fierce enfilade blinds troops on both sides
Who fire toward clouds of black powder smoke
And the clear reveals the Southbound retreat

Chamberlain observes his damaged left flank
Maneuvers a swinging switch of the sides
The left is strong and holds its ground again

Supply is scarce and their force dwindles
The dead are piled as fortification
Rounds are gathered, the corpse’s last assist

After a formidable fusillade
The Colonel knew, to stay would be futile
In desperation he gave the order

“Forget the ammo, Fix Bayonets! Charge!”
Overcome with dread the Alabama
Regiment flees
Before their pursuers

Praise those valiant men who rushed down upon
Their enemies who were after the hill
Praise the colonel who would not quit


© Copyright 2003 Yitzy - All Rights Reserved
Magnus
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Member Laureate
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA
1 posted 2003-05-18 07:40 PM


Being a sucker for battle,  blue and grey
and other wars....I enjoyed this piece..
thanx.  If I were to comment,  I would feel
that this is almost of a prose format and
might fit into that area....Far from the
expert...maybe someone else can give me
some assistance....  But, don't feel that
it cannot be posted here in open,  it is
just fine...

Yitzy
Junior Member
since 2003-05-12
Posts 30

2 posted 2003-05-18 07:52 PM


Its a semi blank verse poem with five feet and all but I doubt the meter is anywhere near consistent, maybe I could have added some more figurative language to make it flow with poetic energy but it is a work in progress

People spend a lifetime searching for happiness; looking for peace. They chase idle dreams, addictions, religions, even other people, hoping to fill t

Magnus
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA
3 posted 2003-05-18 07:58 PM


I think the content is fine...and being a
work in progress is fine....for some poems,
meter is not the need...  I too have written
poems of this style...some with meter, and
some without...  So,  please feel comfortable
with what you have presented...

Yitzy
Junior Member
since 2003-05-12
Posts 30

4 posted 2003-05-18 08:00 PM


thanx for the support I really appreciate it
Tim
Senior Member
since 1999-06-08
Posts 1794

5 posted 2003-05-18 08:27 PM


Enjoyed much. A man who deserves to be remembered for his courage and convictions.
Not only in war, but in his life after.
As an old history major who occasionally dabbles in poetry, well done.

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