Open Poetry #26 |
Chamberlain's Charge |
Yitzy Junior Member
since 2003-05-12
Posts 30 |
Chamberlain’s Charge The time is now for dissenters to choose Whether to linger or whether to fight Fight for freedom, fight for what is right For many their doom will sweep over them Like a broom of lead, an upward volley Or a keen blade in timid hands of rage Their courageous stand on Little Round Top Will hinder the enemies’ victory Stand strong dear Main here comes the first foray A fierce enfilade blinds troops on both sides Who fire toward clouds of black powder smoke And the clear reveals the Southbound retreat Chamberlain observes his damaged left flank Maneuvers a swinging switch of the sides The left is strong and holds its ground again Supply is scarce and their force dwindles The dead are piled as fortification Rounds are gathered, the corpse’s last assist After a formidable fusillade The Colonel knew, to stay would be futile In desperation he gave the order “Forget the ammo, Fix Bayonets! Charge!” Overcome with dread the Alabama Regiment flees Before their pursuers Praise those valiant men who rushed down upon Their enemies who were after the hill Praise the colonel who would not quit |
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© Copyright 2003 Yitzy - All Rights Reserved | |||
Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
Being a sucker for battle, blue and grey and other wars....I enjoyed this piece.. thanx. If I were to comment, I would feel that this is almost of a prose format and might fit into that area....Far from the expert...maybe someone else can give me some assistance.... But, don't feel that it cannot be posted here in open, it is just fine... |
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Yitzy Junior Member
since 2003-05-12
Posts 30 |
Its a semi blank verse poem with five feet and all but I doubt the meter is anywhere near consistent, maybe I could have added some more figurative language to make it flow with poetic energy but it is a work in progress People spend a lifetime searching for happiness; looking for peace. They chase idle dreams, addictions, religions, even other people, hoping to fill t |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
I think the content is fine...and being a work in progress is fine....for some poems, meter is not the need... I too have written poems of this style...some with meter, and some without... So, please feel comfortable with what you have presented... |
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Yitzy Junior Member
since 2003-05-12
Posts 30 |
thanx for the support I really appreciate it |
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Tim Senior Member
since 1999-06-08
Posts 1794 |
Enjoyed much. A man who deserves to be remembered for his courage and convictions. Not only in war, but in his life after. As an old history major who occasionally dabbles in poetry, well done. |
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