Open Poetry #26 |
Melting |
j-oh-E Member
since 2003-05-01
Posts 59Texas, USA |
When the ink dried, It was then I felt The copper rust of age as it came from tired eyes. After song, On the sea, Where whipped dunes stay barren in an empty breeze. And it blows with an awful truth. Of laughter that peeled off in tattered rags In the graveyard of her youth. Her skin had shed its scent On the edge of patience Tried Then spent And then no words could pull the past, In pieces as it lay, In melting sorrow Left in mud Like stones when we cracked And grayed And aged And passed |
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© Copyright 2003 Joe Gomez - All Rights Reserved | |||
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Hello Joe...sure would have liked to see this one stray a little longer... it had all the feel of a good story, just starting... I guess leaving me wanting more is part of the game plan, huh? Ok, it worked! |
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Brad Majors
since 2001-04-03
Posts 2647Georgia |
well done! |
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davidmerriman Member
since 2003-04-30
Posts 123Dallas, TX |
i actually liked this, and i didn't think i would. you can picture things breaking away and deterriorating in this poem. i would keep working on it, because it's nice. |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Wonderful Joe... May we have more....please? ~Hugs & Smiles, Nancy~ ~Somewhere in my heart I'm always |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
A teaser perhaps?--to whet our thirst for more? Warm hugs, Earth Angel |
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j-oh-E Member
since 2003-05-01
Posts 59Texas, USA |
You all are right, I should add more. I have a few good ideas too. Thanks for posting your comments. |
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