Beth - A Good Day for Rain

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

Open Poetry #26

Beth - A Good Day for Rain

ptwils165
Member

since 2002-11-29

Posts 50

0 posted 2003-05-05 02:56 PM

Beth (a good day for rain)

The last two lines of a sonnet
we read in seminar
escape in a rush of the clear night air.
Now home, tucked warm by a coat and scarf,
Chin-down in the wind.

A feeling of life; fresh, on-the-move;
Each stride achieving
An energy, a pulse
Like racing through storms in summer.

Now the showers.

I burst past the shrub on a lamp-lit corner,
a sprinkler to every passer-by;
not noticing the latest addition of water
flick against my face, soaking wet hair.
I pleaded to stand here, drenched all night
with no worries of a changing day.

By the light of a window
I started to cry -
miracle tears,
lost in the deluge of the street.
But warmer drops falling against an upturned mouth
still smiling through the rain.

She smiled at me today, I thought.
Today was a good day for rain.

Brad Majors

Member Elite

since 2001-04-03

Posts 2647
Georgia

1 posted 2003-05-05 02:59 PM

wonderful piece

QjQ
Member Elite

since 2003-04-18

Posts 3756
U.S.A.

2 posted 2003-05-05 03:01 PM

nice

It matters not how you answer, It matters only that i hear you.

davidmerriman
Member

since 2003-04-30

Posts 123
Dallas, TX

3 posted 2003-05-05 03:59 PM

i didn't feel the flow of this poem, it seemed like prose thrown into poetic form.

i would try giving this a rhythm, because many of the lines show great promise.

[This message has been edited by davidmerriman (05-05-2003 04:00 PM).]

Lady In White

Member Elite

since 2001-02-12

Posts 2799
USA

4 posted 2003-05-05 04:16 PM

I enjoyed knowing
that you could be touched
by the smile,
and the sonnet...

regards2you
Member Elite

since 2002-10-01

Posts 3940
California

5 posted 2003-05-05 08:38 PM

I think this wonderful with enough imagery and sort lines to make it poetic, enough sublte feelings to make me cry.....

The ending could be anybody's guess...the sign of a good poet...

Enjoyed and would love to see more of your work, Pete.

Hugs, Pat

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.