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aaron woodside
Member

since 2001-09-26

Posts 256

0 posted 2003-04-24 04:35 PM

Hey all, first off, Thnx for all the peeps who voted for my poem, "Sorrow", over in the Teen section.  It got in.

Anyway here's another poem I'd like to try out.  This is a repost of a poem I posted over in the Crit Anaylsis forum awhile back.  This has not been up for submission yet.

Hope you like

Her Secret

She sits alone, unheard
red lightning in her swollen eyes
her hand brushes away her hair
that claws at her tears of misery
overflowing, she can’t hold back
each droplet, slowly inching,
full of years of pain and sorrow,
each a sigh of letting go.

Shining through the open window
silvery luminescence lights her figure
slumped against the kitchen wall,
curling her legs up to her breast
her face battered and broken
shades of blue and black taint,
the woman she used to be
a woman of pride and dignity

He did it to her again.
his anger, his love treacherous
but he says “I still love you”
and she stays to believe
that the stars in the endless void
her ideals, goals, and dreams
are close and not forgotten
just forever out of reach

The floorboards above creak melancholy
as the jewels of her soul
stare to the heavens above
rimmed in her oceans of silence.
the thunder of footfalls upon the stairs
pound relentlessly in her ears
he shouts and she cringes in despair
for she knows her love is near

Her head bowed in defeat
she accepts this as her penance
for the wrongs of her past to him
for making him feel worthless
and for speaking to another man
she doesn’t blame him for her faults
but as the pain starts once again
she can’t help but grasp for those stars.

ex animo,
Aaron Woodside

[This message has been edited by aaron woodside (04-24-2003 04:38 PM).]

QjQ
Member Elite

since 2003-04-18

Posts 3756
U.S.A.

1 posted 2003-04-24 10:36 PM

congrats, and this i to belive will make it, nicely written

"one needs not challenge all the players to win the game"

Magicmystery
Senior Member

since 2002-02-13

Posts 821
Windsor, Ontario, Canada

2 posted 2003-04-26 01:56 AM

OH, You ARE good!!!! First.... you placed this woman's pain in perspective, and Just describing her seated position was enough to indicate you have seen such things first hand. Her problem is the fact that she still loves this waste of testosterone. It is unclear to my why some choose to stay in such abusive relationships... but then again I have too.... just not the physical kind. Well written dear poet! has my vote.

Sherry

aaron woodside
Member

since 2001-09-26

Posts 256

3 posted 2003-04-26 02:44 PM

Thnx.

ex animo,
Aaron

IN NOMINE PATRI ET FILII ET SPIRITUS SANCTI

rcl 4eva
Junior Member

since 2003-04-12

Posts 19

4 posted 2003-04-27 12:29 PM

I luved it...wish I cud give two votes

Lynda
Member

since 2003-04-26

Posts 52
Vic, Australia

5 posted 2003-04-28 03:14 AM

I can see this woman -I see her often at my place of employment. It's sad and difficult to understand, and your poem illustrates her despair, fear, love and hope so well.
Lynda

Brad Majors