Reflections on the Web |
Four Attempts To Tickle And Entertain. |
pjtalty Member
since 2002-07-17
Posts 111W.A., Australia |
*Authors hear at length one general cry, Tickle and entertain us, or we die!* William Cowper, 'Retirement' (1) The Impotent Bull You ask me how I'm gettin' on; Well, last week good luck went: I found out that my prize stud bull Was bloody im-PO-tent! I took him to the local vet Who gave a diagnosis; The label on the bottle read "Three hourly daily doses." A coupla anxious weeks dragged by, ("Is the treatment gonna flop?") But then, thank God, the bull improved And soon was back on top. The cows they came in droves, they did, And the place was full of action And each on leaving wore a look Of smiling satisfaction. Don't ask me what was in the stuff, 'cause I wouldn't have a clue, But it tasted just like orange juice And a real delicious brew! ---------- (2) A Sparkie’s Night Out A vivacious electrician called Speight Went boozing one night with a mate; When much later he stumbled Into bed, his wife mumbled, "Darling, wire you insulate?" ---------- (3) The Chatup Blues The scene is a Munich beer hall: A Texan is downing a beer; A fraulein whose garments bare all Asks “Is okay if I sit here?” The Texan looks her over: She’s cute and sexy and tall, With skin like the White Cliffs of Dover And a face to excite and enthrall. He plucks up the courage to chat her, “Do you speak English, honey chile?” She waits, considers the matter, “A little”, she answers with guile. “A little?” -his voice on the rise, “How much?” -tone as thick as fog; “Fifty dollars”, she straightway replies. He hastily pays for his grog. ---------- (4) Mrs Flannigan’s Oversight Mrs Flannigan, extremely short sighted, had a visitor call one day; sat him down, made some tea, then alighted for a cup and a yarn, ‘twas her way. Time came when the guest had to go; he said “Thank you for all your bother; Mrs Flannigan blushed, said, “Oh no! It weren’t any bother, dear Father!” When he’d gone, the good lady’s sonny approached his dear mum, brow creased, said, “Mother, you really are funny: that was doctor who came here, not priest! Mrs F turned the colour of port, gave a look that could chasten or chill ya said, “Good grief! For a moment I THOUGHT Father O'Flynn got a little familiar!!” © Patrick Talty, 2003, All Rights Reserved. Patrick Talty |
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© Copyright 2003 Patrick Talty - All Rights Reserved | |||
Magicmystery Senior Member
since 2002-02-13
Posts 821Windsor, Ontario, Canada |
OMG!!! I'm still Rollin of the floor... Here I am at work trying to stifle the multiple laughs and snickers from reading this thru.... a real treat!!!! Brought a smile to this ugly day.... Snowing here in Toronto..... I am gonna cast my vote for these cause I really think they all deserve to be in the book but I really think that you would have a much better chance if you separated them...Unfortunately.... because the length is gonna make this write mighty challenging to be accepted.... The best of luck to ya.... These really need to be included as a set, I know. Sherry PS... into my library it goes so I can see it again....( still roaring ) Cherish the good memories of the past and look forward to the adventure called Tomorrow. But above all... be kind to yourself today. |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
ROFL...but, by posting these all together, you certainly are limiting your chance to be in the book, they need to be submitted seperately so as to shorten the overall length...gets my vote regardless |
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Pilgrimage Member Elite
since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945Texas, USA |
I love these! I'm grinning all over my face, can you see? Nan (Pilgrim variety) |
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Joyce Johnson
since 2001-03-10
Posts 9912Washington State |
I love them all and we need some levity. Joyce |
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Chanson Senior Member
since 2000-08-19
Posts 1559Up Creek w/Out Paddle |
These are great chuckle grabbers! When you think you have heard it all, |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
As soon as I stop laughing I'll vote! ~Hugs~ |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
(giggles in delight) Oh my gosh, these are so hilarious and amusing, sweet friend, time to call off the running of the bulls! (big hugggssssss) I too strongly suggest you consider choosing your favorite of these and make it an individual submission as submission length hugely reflects the likelihood of a poem getting in the book and your chances will be much higher individualizing them, yay, these are all delightful, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Patrick, thank you for sharing! May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
ROFL... I love them, one and all! *G* |
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Street Heart Member
since 2002-09-05
Posts 349Pennsylvania,USA |
Clever you are,mate! You definitely tickled me! The first 2 are my favs.You got me vote for these...while I'm still laughing! Peace On Earth,Street Heart If a man has not discovered something he is willing to die for,his life is not worth living. |
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pjtalty Member
since 2002-07-17
Posts 111W.A., Australia |
Thanks to all you lovely poets who enjoyed my shot at writing humourous verse. I appreciate the suggestions as to length and its potentioal to minimise its chance of publication. However, I would like to leave the 4 pieces as a set and will simply murmur "c'est la vie!" should that be the only reason for its inability to make it to the anthology. Big Aussie hugs to all! Patrick |
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Rex Allen McCoy Member Elite
since 2000-01-30
Posts 2863Sippin a Timmy's in London |
There's a tickle in my soul, for humorous poetry ... used to write it a lot, myself voting |
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Tammy Blessing Member
since 2002-08-26
Posts 366PA |
Tickle and entertain you did!! These are just hysterical! Good luck to you on getting them in the book. I cast my vote! Tammy |
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Bohemianaus Member
since 2003-01-05
Posts 69Australia (South Gippsland) |
Rofl - put 'em all in. God bless and keep you, Namaste! |
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WhiteRose Member Elite
since 2002-07-23
Posts 3208somebody's dungeon |
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lorenlynn Member
since 2003-01-27
Posts 203California Beaches |
I'm twirling and whirling and giggling.
Thanks for the happies. |
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SPIRIT Senior Member
since 2002-12-29
Posts 1745California Desert |
Ditto to all of the above - delightful. |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Love the humor and your attitude, and I agree, getting them to the reader is more important than breaking them up. Your sense of humor is wonderful! However, I must agree with Ruth and say that by putting so poem also in at one time, (not just this submission but all), unless you read others work like mad to bring up the "indirect votes", the chances of getting even one in the book are slim indeed. I have however, enjoyed being introduced to your wit and writing and will look for it long after this exercise is over and hope you stick around. Don't be too hard on yourself - even Einstein had trouble tying his shoelaces. |
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SPIRIT Senior Member
since 2002-12-29
Posts 1745California Desert |
Just a little bumpbitty bump This needs to be on the top Nice way to start a day with a good laugh and a bit of a giggle. |
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illusion Member
since 2001-06-19
Posts 296 |
I like these. Thanks for the smiles! |
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Flower Member
since 2003-03-15
Posts 240California |
Brilliant and loads of fun. |
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Jason Lyle Senior Member
since 2003-02-07
Posts 1438With my darkling |
And my vote also, very funny! Jason |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Just what I needed, a bit of comedic relief! Thank you Patrick! |
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JP Senior Member
since 1999-05-25
Posts 1343Loomis, CA |
if I can see through these tears I will vote... Yesterday is ash, tomorrow is smoke; only today does the fire burn. |
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carol Senior Member
since 2003-01-25
Posts 624Florida USA |
Very good writing Real friends celebrate in who we are and have faith in all that we can become |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
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Rick Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 2903Victoria, Australia |
pjtalty, these are all excellent, had me laughing and am still wearing a grin, job well done and worth a vote. Sincerely Rick |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Oh I do wish you would split this up into two or at least remove one and post separately - then it would make it into the book for sure! Enjoyed this so much. You are certainly an incredibly welcome new addition to the Passions family of friends.
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