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to kill
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to kill |
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wayoutwalt Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870TEXAS (it's all big) 
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to kill Where is school? On top of the hill where the private parochial paradise sits still. Encased in a burnt red brick sticking in a niche of curdled milk and lukewarm tête-à-têtes a brain shrinks through fiberglass cables and juggles three thoughts minus the sugary donuts that growl inside the torrent of wind knocking loose tooth after tooth -blamed on the leak in the roof seen as a technological faux pas, they study fox paws sleep an hour and get red marks. This- what I wish I was. -to be young again, peers down the hall. To Kill a Mockingbird three grades early N- N- N- 280 pages skipping the N- Whispers are the only cold reminder in the outhouse barracks where the yellow snowflakes are never taken off the windows because the heat costs an extra paycheck but the teacher is enough to warm the cheeks except next week 280 pages are due. This- what I wish I was - In the early prime of a budding career when nameless upon nameless girls can carve boys as well as their initials on their desktops and binders reminders that someone is looking for you. No nap, no recess, basketball and acting. Juggle and dribble on top of the hill Down the hill trickling where the fiberglass ends The new kid is struggling to fit like a peg. I’m writing their papers and doing their math, thirty miles north in university Hell. Sometimes I wish I’d listened to Daddy who sits still in a grave Wishing he was- |
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| © Copyright 2003 Walt Burns - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Andrew Scott Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558Redlands,CA,USA |
Perhaps my brain is a little overworked from doing my own homework, but this one flew right past me. Not sure where you're going with it. But that's just me. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
This IS an intricately woven study in angst--I'll be honest here tho, and tell you my personal taste runs to the beauty of the passion you write when you write of Elisa... you are one of the most under-rated writers of love poetry here at Passions, in my own humble opinion. Hugs, waltie. |
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Mistletoe Angel 
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (tears fall down my cheeks) And with all the conformity going on ever since The School Board's 1983 Education Act, it seems hopeless for those new kids down on the culdesac to ever go through those doors without feeling claustrophobic! (sad sigh) You speak of these shivers so well, sweet friend, I feel them time and time again at the University of Colorado in this caterpillar tread doctrine, I agree with Karen on your wonderful writing, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Walter, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." Shakira [This message has been edited by Mistletoe Angel (02-15-2003 08:58 PM).] |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Hey walty... Still in school, eh??...  |
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LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
Howdy Walt. Long time no see. This poem is well written, and it has something under the surface I haven't gotten. I mean, it has meaning to me, but I don't think I've figured our YOUR meaing yet. But.. it's a good piece, and you have my vote.  Peace I leave with you, My peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you.--Jesus Christ |
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GOlDsparklESS Member
since 2001-12-13
Posts 428central nj |
cool.. read this is a couple of times.. |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
I love this, it's so uniquely you m'friend. you have my vote! Maree  |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
Wonderful to read you, as always Walt ... this piece touched a "wishing part" of me, very much enjoyed. Best wishes, /Kit |
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Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
Ah, the good old days. I used to get asked to do people's homework, it was fun until they realized I was purposely getting them failing grades. Then I kind of paid the price on the playground. This is really nice, brought me right back to my K-12 years. We had a hill at our elementary school and I was picturing that throughout. Very beautiful writing, I'm voting. Parasite "Faith" means the will to avoid knowing what is true. |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
This is amazing... really amazing... though you might want to think one or more clever titles for this one... Like Maree, I love your work... much enjoyed... regards, Sudhir |
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jbouder Member Elite
since 1999-09-18
Posts 2534Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash |
Walt: This is strong work. You've got my vote. Jim |
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Chanson Senior Member
since 2000-08-19
Posts 1559Up Creek w/Out Paddle |
Ahhh, to be young again but this time without having to do homework. *s An excellent piece of work. Thanks, Walt. When you think you have heard it all, |
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Nicole Senior Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 1835Florida |
Walt m'man! So good to read you again. As always, enjoyed. |
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CocoBaci Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043 |
Walt, I shall keep my reply shortNsweet that is2say our PoetFriend Serenity has nailed my thoughts perfectly... Smiles2u *~coco~* |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Walt, wonderful to read your words running into walls until they break through and hit against new walls. It's a rare clarity in this poem, and enjoy the jabs at university life. Mike |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Maybe I'm just too dense, but I don't understand this form of poetry. It seems lots of the others do, though, and I think all forms of poems probably need to be in the book. There are as many different preferences in poetry as there are of forms of poetry, so you have my vote. . (You know what? Since I really am a hopeless romantic, I would love to see some of your poetry about Elisa. I think you are a very good writer, by the way.) . Ethel |
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Alicat Member Elite
since 1999-05-23
Posts 4094Coastal Texas |
Walt...dude, this is one helluva angst-and-ennui bowl of super nutritious but bowel clogging free writing exercise and treatise on how many pounds per square inch can sit on a brain stem and dance with an angelic chorus line. From not-quite-cradle to the definate grave, coming of age and realizing maybe we don't know everything that we were so very sure of, not too long ago, back when games were played and everybody played except those too uncool to even consider playing, hearts traded like pogs and shredded more thoroughly than Enron memos. In short, I like.  Alicat |
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elisaseyes Member
since 1999-07-15
Posts 196fort worth texas |
Everyone in the family is in school but me! Pre-K thru college. I am always amazed how you're able to take our busy chaotic lives (oral reports, extra credit, basketball practice, marks for talking in class, etc.) and turn in to something to appreciate. Well done Walt! (Are we gonna see some more of the passionate stuff about me now?) [This message has been edited by elisaseyes (02-22-2003 12:04 PM).] |
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Larry C
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286United States |
Written in true Walt fashion. Here's my vote. If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again. |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
An intricate study Walt, and one I liked. Nice to see you around here again too. |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
Hard poem, wayout -- a tough one to think about, much less write so well. |
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
Hi Walt!! You know you get my vote for this one! Chris "Hope" is the thing with feathers- |
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Red Member
since 2000-01-01
Posts 143Ca |
*BUMP n VOTE* an excellent write! |
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Alicethruglass Member
since 2001-06-19
Posts 368 |
Walt...as usual another fine write. Down the hill trickling where the fiberglass ends The new kid is struggling to fit like a peg. Do we ever really fit in? Hope all is well with you. ~A~/M |
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Lighthousebob Member Elite
since 2000-06-14
Posts 4725California |
As usual, I love your wit and I love your descriptive writing. Good job. -Bob |
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Pilgrimage Member Elite
since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945Texas, USA |
This one is dense, filled with word play and meaning. I like it. Nan (Pilgrim variety) |
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Charisma
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906lost in blue pages |
would be nice to have this one in the book, my vote is in Charisma |
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SPIRIT Senior Member
since 2002-12-29
Posts 1745California Desert |
Voting on this one - not sure how I missed it before. Very interesting. |
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