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suthern
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since 1999-07-29
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Louisiana

0 posted 2003-03-26 09:49 AM


A poem batters at my brain
Full of such sorrow, screams of pain.
This time, I can’t obey my muse -
I’ll pull up covers and refuse!
But dancing before my closed eyes
Is one I loved whose horrid lies
Stripped me of hope, destroyed esteem
How can I wake up from this dream?
My shaking hands sort through CD’s
I need some soothing music, please
To drown the sounds of a small girl
As straight into sheer hell she’s hurled.
I'd plot revenge - castration, too
But worms are long since through with you.
Still, hatred I keep buried deep
Visits tonight, disturbs my sleep.
In just a few more hours the dawn
Will find this sniveling creature gone
Till then, I’ll hug my pillow tight
Soak it with tears, wait for the light.


© Copyright 2003 suthern - All Rights Reserved
Local Parasite
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Transylconia, Winnipeg
1 posted 2003-03-26 11:17 AM


quote:
My shaking hands sort through CD’s
I need some soothing music, please


Those lines are my favourite.  Terrified enough to have shaking hands, innocent and polite enough to say please.  I just like the tone of the entire poem.  Great work, and a good choice for submission.

Parasite

"Faith" means the will to avoid knowing what is true.
~ Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Enchantress
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since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
2 posted 2003-03-26 11:22 AM


Fantastic write...gets my vote Ruth!
Janet Marie
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since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

3 posted 2003-03-26 04:06 PM


In just a few more hours the dawn
Will find this sniveling creature gone
Till then, I’ll hug my pillow tight
Soak it with tears, wait for the light.
===================================


sometimes the muse just wont let us be ...
Its that love-hate thing we poets got going on. Voting while sending mothy hugs.

"and when we get to the pearly gates ...
we'll find what we called our sins were just mistakes."

Tom Kimmel


Justbleu
Member Elite
since 1999-08-31
Posts 3329
Oregon, Originally From Alaska :)
4 posted 2003-03-26 04:54 PM


I enjoyed this very much....wonderful for the book!!!!!
Bridgette

"Somewhere, somehow, it should be possible to touch someone and never let go again.  To hold someone, not for a moment but forever." Unknown


Dark Angel
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since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

5 posted 2003-03-26 04:57 PM


Sending you hugs and .....




Chanson
Senior Member
since 2000-08-19
Posts 1559
Up Creek w/Out Paddle
6 posted 2003-03-26 05:09 PM


Two words- touching and haunting.

The light of day can't come
quickly enough sometimes.

Well writ, Suthern.

When you think you have heard it all,
listen more closely.
~Dorene

Earth Angel
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since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
7 posted 2003-03-26 05:31 PM


Your words were so engaging, you could have blown me over with a feather! Excellent write!

P.S.  If you ever have another night from hell like that, give me a call! I'll give you a nice cup of hot chocolate and we can talk 'til dawn so the boogeyman can't come back to haunt the rest of your night!

Warm loving hugs,
Linda


Cpat Hair
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8 posted 2003-03-26 05:40 PM


not got the words to respond correctly to this... so I just vote..and let you know was here


Joyce Johnson
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Washington State
9 posted 2003-03-26 07:37 PM


I agree Cpat.  Words are inadequate for this torment.  Joyce
Sunshine
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since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
10 posted 2003-03-26 08:06 PM



I think I would have said
what Allan said - only he said it
first...

so I will just click "I think this poem should be included in our next book."

Forgive me for not having more to say...
this went deep inside...
and now I'm having a problem breathing...

        Karilea - If I whisper, will you listen?...

Mistletoe Angel
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Portland, Oregon
11 posted 2003-03-26 08:32 PM




(big hugggsssssss) Oh Suthern, this is so very heartaching, sweet friend, my heart goes out to you and I send angel hugs of comfort that the little girl in your heart will sing and chase the darkness away and love overcomes the frustration! (wipes tears) My thoughts are with you, dearest friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Suthern, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

Marsha
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Maidstone Kent England
12 posted 2003-03-26 09:12 PM


Suthern beloved one how could I not vote for this it is outstanding, this book will have in its pages some real treasures and if this is added then it will be worth every penny it costs. Your writing is always excellent, at times it is simply inspired, and then there are times when I read your words and gasp this is stunningly well written.

Somewhere in time there waits a sigh
Waiting softly for its last goodbye
There the heart that sits and watches silently
Wishes for a vision with some clarity
But while pain’s memory lingers on
There’s no chance of hearing hope’s sweet song
That memory keeps you locked inside
While your heart seeks a place to hide
Open your soul and let the memory fade
And you’ll walk in sunshine not in shade

I'd vote for this even if i didn't love you darling one, its a winner indeed and YOU are a star, shine on



Love and warm stuff
As always
Mushy

Tomorrow is another day I don't know what it holds
but I can face the future with courage brave and bold

Footprints In My Heart
Kethry

Larry C
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13 posted 2003-03-26 10:38 PM


suthern,
Okay...where is he. Let me at him. I'll teach. Come on put 'em up. Oh wait. Let me vote first!

If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again.

garysgirl
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14 posted 2003-03-26 11:10 PM


Suthern, this poem touched me very much. It made me think that my daughter might write something exactly like it. I want you to know that I feel exactly the way that Linda said.......I'm just a phone call or e-mail away if you ever need me. I know from what my daughter has told me that some things are very hard to talk about. Sometimes all a person needs is a good listener.

By the way, if the person in my daughters life wasn't already dead, some of your "plots" you said you had thought of sound like very good ideas. It's a very good thing that I didn't know the things I know now when he was still living.

Sorry, I shouldn't have said all that, I know. I fight against those feelings every day. I really am a very peace loving person, but some things really make me mad, especially where my child is concerned (or any child).

Well, I'd better just hush and vote.

Heart Hugs,
Ethel

[This message has been edited by garysgirl (03-27-2003 12:28 AM).]

SPIRIT
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since 2002-12-29
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California Desert
15 posted 2003-03-26 11:32 PM



kaile
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singapore
16 posted 2003-03-26 11:39 PM


hi suthern,
from the comments before me, i guess this is based on reality? a short poem but difficult to read nonetheless~the emotions it stirred in me seem almost unforgiving...

Hugs and a vote and to say that these lines strike me the most

I'd plot revenge - castration, too
But worms are long since through with you

bsquirrel
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17 posted 2003-03-27 12:15 PM


What torment you describe... I'd love to see this dark jewel in the book. And I've done the listen-to-music-to-soothe-enough-to-sleep more than I can count.
Lighthousebob
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since 2000-06-14
Posts 4725
California
18 posted 2003-03-27 01:22 PM


I read here of many who hug the woman you are at present and who send their love back in time to that little girl in your dreams to comfort her through those horrid dark nights and most painful experiences in her life. A big bear hug and vote from me to you my poet friend.

-Bob

Andrew Scott
Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558
Redlands,CA,USA
19 posted 2003-03-27 02:08 PM


M'Lady Suthern... Know that I have read your words and wish for your little girl of bygone days that which I wish for my own daughters every night... dreams full of butterflies and ladybugs, kittens and puppys, and a better tomorrow. Peace to you and yours.
christian
Member
since 2002-12-18
Posts 331

20 posted 2003-03-27 03:53 PM



relatable, and perspective for the rest.
i can connect to this feeling, and i think
its the strongest thing about the poem--
that peopel can read into the words and
feel them too. cool

Pilgrimage
Member Elite
since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945
Texas, USA
21 posted 2003-03-27 04:08 PM


This is so powerful. I read it twice without stopping, and it made me feel like crying. I don't know how you can write using pain for ink.

Nan (Pilgrim variety)

suthern
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Louisiana
22 posted 2003-03-27 05:51 PM


I don’t know what I could possibly say to do justice to your wonderful responses... the kindness, compassion, and unwavering support are overwhelming and heartwarming... and absolutely magnificent. Please know that I appreciate you, each and every one. *S*

LP: Once I finally found enough courage to share my work, I was astounded at how much I
enjoyed hearing how someone else interpreted it. *S* I thank you very much for your perspective and perception. *S*

Enchantress: I thank you so much! *S*

JM: It COULD at least choose a better topic to nag me about if it’s gonna insist on robbing me of sleep! LOL But perhaps I got it backwards... perhaps the waking is inevitable and the muse is there to salvage the sanity. *S* Thank you very much! *S*

Justbleu: I’m very glad you enjoyed... thank you!

Dark Angel: I thank you most sincerely for both.*S*

Chanson: No... it can’t. *S* Thank you so much. *S* Those two words are terrific compliments.

EA: But you can already fly... or don’t your wings work? LOL I thank you very much, lady... and I’d take you up on that offer except that I’m basically incoherent at such times. *S*

Cpat: That says a lot, dear friend... and means even more. *S* Thank you.

Joyce: I was hesitant to select this one... for it’s certainly not pretty... but it’s as much a part of me as the happier ones. *S* What you didn’t say is powerful....and I thank you. *S*

Sunshine: You dear. *S* Your response goes deep to my heart... and I thank you.*S*

M’toe: The little girl and I both thank you... for both your response and your ever-caring heart. *S*

Marsha: You always find the perfect thing to say... whatever would I do without you? *S* I
thank you so very much!!!

Larry: When I first posted this long ago, Bal made a comment about the unkind cut... to which I responded that it was men such as Toe and LJA and him that made up for the other type and helped hearts heal... I add you to that list with gratitude. *S* Thank you. *S*

garysgirl: A good listener can make a world of difference... one found at the right time protected my little sister... and there’s not a day goes by that I don’t thank God for that. *S* Other times, it’s easier to not talk... because you can’t talk without thinking. (Okay, I’m blonde and so that’s
rarely the truth for me... but you know what I mean. LOL) I thank you so very much. *S* And I send hugs to your daughter... and you. *S*

SPIRIT: Thank you! *S*

kaile: I try to forgive... but sometimes it seems an impossibility. *S* I cried at his funeral... but whether I was crying for the man I’d once loved, the girl I once was... or for a family whose silence granted consent and assured torment, I still don’t know. *S* I thank you for the vote and the hug! *S*

bsquirrel: I rarely achieve the back to sleep... but the music still helps. *S* And I thank you so much... I don’t think I could ever consider it a jewel... but I like it that you do. *S*

Lighthousebob: Both bear hug and vote are accepted with gratitude, dear friend... and appreciated so very much. *S* Thank you! *S*

Andrew: I wish that for them, too!!! *S* That’s what dreams should be... Thank you! *S*

christian: I think I’m definitely more adept at conveying feelings than conforming to a particular style. *S* Thank you very much... I’m glad it touched you. *S*

Pilgrimage: Ah, dear lady... that’s just it. *S* It has to bleed out somehow. *S* Thank you so very much... your words mean so much to me. *S*

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
23 posted 2003-03-27 05:52 PM


I'm forgetting what I voted for and what I didn't anymore so, if I voted once, I voted twice
WhiteRose
Member Elite
since 2002-07-23
Posts 3208
somebody's dungeon
24 posted 2003-03-27 06:00 PM


suthern, I almost don't know what to say, but it's rare I'm speechless.

This tears at the heart dear friend. It certainly gets my vote.

dgvarner
Member Elite
since 2000-05-13
Posts 3552
High Springs, Florida
25 posted 2003-03-27 07:01 PM


enjoyed..

hugs, g

"laughter is the shortest distance between two people"  - victor borge

regards2you
Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940
California
26 posted 2003-03-27 07:22 PM



Ruth,

So extremely well written; not one word too much or too little. Perfect. You did a service for many who've such experiences, for they don't have your ability to express this kind of abuse.
A strong, courageous lady. Thank you for choosing to share this.

Heart hugs just don't seem enough to say to you.

Pat

..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
        "Desiderata"

Martie
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Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
27 posted 2003-03-27 07:29 PM


Suthern...I wish I didn't understand this so well...heart hugs to you, my friend...and a vote!!
Bill Charles
Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now
28 posted 2003-03-27 07:49 PM


suthern - so very sad and coming from a heart in pain it seems. I wish you the best...

BC

Ratleader
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Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass
29 posted 2003-03-27 10:19 PM


I understand that haunting, feel I know that little girl....and would gladly be the instrument of decent men's reckoning for it.

I carry a knife --right now-- with the name of such a man on it, and would willingly notch the handle if he weren't already dead.

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

[This message has been edited by Ratleader (03-27-2003 10:23 PM).]

Krissy
Senior Member
since 2002-02-22
Posts 556
kent England
30 posted 2003-03-29 04:02 PM


Suthern this is wonderful and I love it this has got my vote, danm sure of it, Beautiful work.

Very well written


love and warm stuff
as always
Krissy

And while thy willing soul transpiers
at every pore with instant fires
Andrew Marvell 1621-1678

Alicethruglass
Member
since 2001-06-19
Posts 368

31 posted 2003-03-29 04:43 PM


I can't say I can relate..but  your writing  has touched me as it always does.

~A

CwboyAtHeart
Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 541
Selah, WA, USA
32 posted 2003-03-29 11:05 PM


Wow.  Great write!  You got my vote.

      - Cody -

Note To Self:  If Pigs Can Fly, So Can I!!!

If someboy laughs at me, does that make me funny or just plain stupid?  

sweetwater
Member
since 2002-12-16
Posts 178
Perth
33 posted 2003-03-30 12:02 PM


powerful, emotive, I have no other adjectives that aptly describe this wonderful piece, so I'll just vote and let the images sink in.
Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269
In the winds of Cherokee song
34 posted 2003-03-30 11:38 AM


Well with the title I had to come in and read.  The whole piece flows with an even keel while still giving that extra emphasis on certain feelings for impact.  A wonderfully constructed piece. You got my vote.
suthern
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since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
35 posted 2003-03-31 10:19 AM


hoot: Vote early, vote often. LOL Seriously... I thank you so much, lady... *S*

White Rose: To know it reached you is enough, dear friend... I thank you so very much. *S*

dgvarner: Thank you! *S*

regards: And thank you doesn't seem nearly enough for your wonderful response. *S* But I do thank you so much... and return your heart hugs gladly. *S*

Martie: I wish no one understood. *S* Would that it could be nothing more than words on a page. *S* I thank you... for the vote... and even more for those hugs. *S*

Bill: I thank you very much for those wishes, kind sir. *S*

Ratleader: How I understand... and how very glad I am for the decent men in the world. *S* On the one hand, I know it's only self-defeating to carry hatred for the dead... on the other... heart and mind aren't always on the same page. *S* Thank you so much! *S*

Krissy: Your unwavering support is gift enough, dear lady... the vote is just icing on the cake... I thank you for both! *S*

Alicethruglass: I'm so glad it touched you... even more glad you can't relate. *S* Thank you so much! *S*

Cwboy: When I get a wow, it gives such a smile. *S* Thank you so much! *S*

sweetwater: Meanwhile, I'll bask in the glow your kind response left in me. *S* Thank you so very much! *S*

Mark: I remember you were the first to respond when I posted this two years ago. *S* I appreciate your comments then and now. *S* Thank you very much! *S*

KristieSue
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Senior Member
since 2003-01-31
Posts 1460
PA, US
36 posted 2003-03-31 11:24 AM


ummm...fantastic doesn't even say the half of it, so....

fantastic fantastic fantastic fantastic fantastic fantastic fantastic fantastic fantastic fantastic fantastic fantastic fantastic fantastic fantastic fantastic

:-)

Failure isn't failure if a lesson from it is learned ~ KS

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
37 posted 2003-03-31 12:46 PM


"To drown the sounds of a small girl
As straight into sheer hell she’s hurled."

I can relate...

Susan

Moon Dust
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since 1999-06-11
Posts 2177
Skelmersdale, UK
38 posted 2003-03-31 03:15 PM


Cool denfinately worth the vote

If your afraid of the dark, then why did you come?

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