»
Archives
»
Reflections on the Web
»
Fireflies
| Reflections on the Web |
|
Fireflies |
|
Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg 
|
I sat upon a bay of open sky Amidst the twirling gloom of upper sight The swallow of a grim, disrupting light Did beg my vision then--a tiny star Suspended at my level, as though far It stood--but closer, reach'd against mine eye. I know not what I saw within the mist A patch of tiny, torture-living souls? A sheet of yellow, question'd full with holes Where dwelt a rest of ages? Now I see More truly, what was glancing back at me-- A soothing offer, and a quaking fist. I call'd at them, and there was no reply So silently they flicker'd and display'd A song of joy, ironically dismay'd So there I call'd again, not with a voice But with a finger lifted, to rejoice And join them in their anthem of the sky. If thou hast seen a wetland in thy years Thou knowest well, the colours underlying The soothing waves of lilies, ever crying Beneath their stems, where death and rotting loam Fills life, and binds it thus: Thou may'st not roam From here, this pit of sickly overseers. And I believed it too--that in these reeds Dwelt prisoners of sickness and disease Who ne'er could know the wisdom of the seas Or walk against their beaches; rivers flowing Fore'er escape the bound'ries of their knowing: Their fates are written coldly in their seeds. I saw them each as spots, who in their birth Flew brilliantly to sky, and spun a thread Of ignorance and beauty o'er my head Who mingled through, and tickled at the water And fell in love, and fell into the slaughter Brought on by that same prophecy of Earth. The hist'ry of the world in single file Is shown to them remotely, halfly giving A meaning to their week or day of living And each is, thus, a being on its own A week to learn of love, or die alone And rot within this bog of pregnant bile. So there I stood in sympathy and knowing, With not a thought, save for a thought of time; That life could be abundant and sublime And chords of empty nights in empty swamps Would still be dark, if not for mortal lamps-- O firefly, how brightly art thou glowing. [This message has been edited by Local Parasite (03-23-2003 09:16 PM).] |
||
| © Copyright 2003 Brian James Lee - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Alicethruglass Member
since 2001-06-19
Posts 368 |
Brian this is wonderful writing..I think your best for me, since I love rhyme and rhythm patterns... Maureen/Alice |
||
Joyce Johnson
since 2001-03-10
Posts 9912Washington State |
I enjoyed this writing too Brian but it takes several readings. Joyce |
||
Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (sigh) Sadly it seems the fireflies are all alone to cope with the darkness, if only the light can be more than just embers and we can convert the negative contrast to positive and the dark embers can dissolve in the light! (big hugggssssssss) This is powerful, sweet friend, I have missed your wonderful poetry and am blessed to see you post this as it can well relate to the current turmoils in our world, much enjoyed this, you have my vote! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Brian, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
||
|
Chanson Senior Member
since 2000-08-19
Posts 1559Up Creek w/Out Paddle |
Parasite, this is filled with awesome little gems -- "twirling gloom of upper sight" ... "A sheet of yellow, question'd full with holes" ... "So there I call'd again, not with a voice But with a finger lifted, to rejoice" ... "Their fates are written coldly in their seeds." ... "remotely, halfly giving" ... Heck, I should have bold-typed the whole poem! It is quite moving. Write on! When you think you have heard it all, listen more closely. ~Dorene [This message has been edited by Chanson (03-23-2003 07:10 PM).] |
||
|
Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Too many wonderful phrases, lines and stanzas to try to choose my favourite... Fantastic write and much enjoyed! ~Smiles, Hugs and a Vote~ ~Somewhere in my heart I'm always |
||
Greeneyes
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903In Your Poetic Mind |
wow this is amazing.....you know you read some poems that just leave you in awe....thats what this did to me...I have no words to say, that could come even close to the justice this needs and deserves! Lauren~ I close my eyes and there in the shadows I see your light |
||
|
Allysa
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952In an upside-down garden |
Hey parasite... long time no talk... anyway.... yeah, you're making the rest of us look bad with your awesome, kick butt poetry...lol obviously, this gets my vote. "Wie ein Quadrat in einem Kreis, eck' ich immer wieder an obwohl ich doch schon lange weiß, daß ich niemals ändern kann." ~Wizo |
||
|
Skyfire
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
Alright, how could I not vote for this? *hugs* Beautifully done Brian, beautifully done  If I love you enough will you feel it over the distance? |
||
|
hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Wonderful |
||
|
Charisma
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906lost in blue pages |
Beautiful penned Charisma |
||
|
Flower Member
since 2003-03-15
Posts 240California |
I'm dumbstruck and that doesn't happen but rarely. Had to read it several times - very interesting and enormously good. My vote is posted. Love reading all these great writes. |
||
|
Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
Beautiful. |
||
|
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Click click click... do wish I could vote for a few more often...because I really REALLY want them in the book... Good job, young man! |
||
|
Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
you just make this all look so easy... and do it so well.. I know..if I live long enough I will be able to say..I remember him..and knew as well as read his stuff before he made a mark... and at the same time..I know already..you make a mark today on those that read you..and perhaps that is as big a mark any of us can hope to make with writing... goos stuff..LP.. and you got my vote. |
||
|
Jason Lyle Senior Member
since 2003-02-07
Posts 1438With my darkling |
Yes, as already said, you make this look easy.Awesome write, I read it 4 times, 2 for what it held, 2 for what I learned.Nice. Jason |
||
|
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
LP...this is magic and amazing! |
||
|
WhiteRose Member Elite
since 2002-07-23
Posts 3208somebody's dungeon |
I sat upon a bay of open sky Amidst the twirling gloom of upper sight The swallow of a grim, disrupting light Did beg my vision then--a tiny star Suspended at my level, as though far It stood--but closer, reach'd against mine eye. My favorite little insect, the lovely firefly. How fondly I remember riding down the road in that big old truck with my husband, and watching the fireflies, on fire, twinkling here and there in the brush alongside the road. This is, as Martie said, magical.  |
||
|
Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
I sat upon a bay of open sky Amidst the twirling gloom of upper sight The swallow of a grim, disrupting light Did beg my vision then--a tiny star Suspended at my level, as though far It stood--but closer, reach'd against mine eye. ========================= I call'd at them, and there was no reply So silently they flicker'd and display'd A song of joy, ironically dismay'd So there I call'd again, not with a voice But with a finger lifted, to rejoice And join them in their anthem of the sky. If thou hast seen a wetland in thy years Thou knowest well, the colours underlying The soothing waves of lilies, ever crying Beneath their stems, where death and rotting loam Fills life, and binds it thus: Thou may'st not roam From here, this pit of sickly overseers. =========================== I saw them each as spots, who in their birth Flew brilliantly to sky, and spun a thread Of ignorance and beauty o'er my head Who mingled through, and tickled at the water And fell in love, and fell into the slaughter Brought on by that same prophecy of Earth. The hist'ry of the world in single file Is shown to them remotely, halfly giving A meaning to their week or day of living And each is, thus, a being on its own A week to learn of love, or die alone And rot within this bog of pregnant bile. So there I stood in sympathy and knowing, With not a thought, save for a thought of time; That life could be abundant and sublime And chords of empty nights in empty swamps Would still be dark, if not for mortal lamps-- O firefly, how brightly art thou glowing. ========================== Twas really hard to single out or omit any verses..each one stands on its own in brilliance of imagery and poetic employ of vocab and language...and of course rhyme scheme and cadence. This is just so very impressive and down right cool!! I have come to know that their is no subject that you cant put your classic style on and do it poetic justice. This has got to be in the book or I'm not buying it  and....did ya know Fireflies are a Moths favorite bug? ... well...with the exception of butterflies and Parasites. "and when we get to the pearly gates ... |
||
|
bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Insights of temperance and temporality, and I don't know if either of those are spelled right. I love your craft, and the obvious pleasure you take in turning your insights into missives. I take pleasure in reading them. |
||
|
bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Oh, and remembering how much you enjoyed Acoustic guitar, I just submitted it for the book, in full What the heck? mode. Thanks for reading me! |
||
|
suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
I've always loved fireflies... but I'll never again look at them in quite the same way. *S* Excellent write! *S* |
||
|
garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Brian, your poetry makes me speechless....if you knew me better you would know that very seldom happens. This is just awsome!! BTW, from what I've read of your comments to others and your replies, you aren't very old. That is one of the other things that amazes me with your writing. It seems to have been written by someone way beyond your years. You are a very talented and gifted writer, Brian. Your style reminds me of the classic poets from years ago. The famous ones. I wouldn't be surprised if you were to become famous. See, I told you that I don't get speechless very often. LOL I didn't intend to write all this. Because your poem is so great, I really didn't know what to say about it. So I just told you what I think of your writing as a whole. Hope that's okay. Of course you have my vote! Hugs, Ethel [This message has been edited by garysgirl (03-27-2003 01:44 AM).] |
||
|
Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
exquisite poetry... so much enjoyed... Thanks... regards, sudhir |
||
|
christian Member
since 2002-12-18
Posts 331 |
dude--astounding. just remarkable. click click click. |
||
|
Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
dont mind me...the moth is just back to bug ya heh |
||
|
Magicmystery Senior Member
since 2002-02-13
Posts 821Windsor, Ontario, Canada |
Brian, You really have a knack for these, and the night, dark, dank, musty, contrasted with these "innocent" lights of mortality. How incredibly brilliant!!! you do have a flair for using such otherwise simple things to drive home a larger picture. Again well done, I wish you the best for racking up enough votes for this one. You have mine. Blessings, Sherry Ps, my son loves your weaving of words too. Cherish the good memories of the past and look forward to the adventure called Tomorrow. But above all... be kind to yourself today. |
||
|
Andrew Scott Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558Redlands,CA,USA |
This piece is beyond my ability to comment upon other than to say, "Incredible!" A vote is small payment for the time and effort required to write such excellent poetry. Thank you for sharing. I bow to you and yours with vote in hand. |
||
|
Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
I don't think it's necessary to repeat everything I've already said about this, but in case I've missed something, here's an overview: *bows to you* Thanks for the insight, Brian. I really do have a lot to learn from you. ~Carly empty arms and half a soul to go -el sol --Zwan [This message has been edited by Child of the Stars (03-29-2003 03:59 PM).] |
||
|
LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
"So there I stood in sympathy and knowing, With not a thought, save for a thought of time; That life could be abundant and sublime And chords of empty nights in empty swamps Would still be dark, if not for mortal lamps-- O firefly, how brightly art thou glowing." Here's for #2 in the book for our Brian.. I loved this a lot.. the imagery and the message of this poem were striking. You're similar in some ways to the subject of my giant research paper, good Robert Frost! Oh, make me Thine forever |
||
|
Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
you need to tell me just how you can get your rhyme and meter to work out so well. . . this is a finely crafted, uniquely your own voice poem. . . and it would be an honor to be included alongside such superb work. . . -------------------------------------------------------- To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world. |
||
|
Lost Dreamer Member Elite
since 1999-06-20
Posts 2464Somewhere near the Rainbow |
I'm in awe, this is an amazing poem. When I first read it I was trying to figure it out until I got to the last line which just brought it all to light. I read it again so I could really savor the brilliance of it all. Sometimes we have to follow a stronger voice, even if it's silent. |
||
|
Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
I said I wont buy a book unless this is in it!! So I guess I'll have to moth bug ya some more "and when we get to the pearly gates ... |
||
|
Titia Geertman Member Ascendant
since 2001-05-07
Posts 5182Netherlands |
I see I have a lot of catching up to do, missed this one in the process. Getting my vote for sure. Titia Like scattered leaves...my words will flow |
||
|
fractal007 Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958 |
Cool poem that paints many a reflective and mystical image. 2+2=5 for sufficiently large values of 2 |
||
|
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
* enthusiastic vote * |
||
|
littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
Brian - this is brilliant - you have taken a simple observation and pondered our entire existence - amazing! xxoo |
||
|
Aimster Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297Charlotte, NC |
Brian, this was one of those poems that just left me with my mouth wide open. excellent writing penned with some of the most awesome imagery! this was such a refreshing piece and exactly what the book needs! you got my vote. take care amy "love is like a butterfly-- |
||
|
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Brian, this is one of the most beautifully and well done pieces of writing that I have ever seen! Wow! Excellently done! |
||
|
SPIRIT Senior Member
since 2002-12-29
Posts 1745California Desert |
Brilliant! An honor to vote for this great write. |
||
|
passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
wonderful job! |
||
|
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
bump!  |
||
|
serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
popping in quickly to vote--I thought I may have already, (I was doing some silent voting for awhile) but since I'm not sure, I figured I'd just vote again, and? heh heh, let Ron sort it out later? I said it before and I say it again, I have never read a bad poem by you, m'friend. so...click. |
||
|
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
You are from a different age, Brian. Not only do you come up with unique ways to express yourself, you pay a lot of attention to the mechanics of the poem, which, for me, is the difference between a good and great writer. This a-b-b-c-c-a worked out very well...I'll have to try that one! |
||
|
wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
Form and structures escape me. What does not, is the skillful way you weild your pen. Like Cpat, I would like to see what you are writing in just ten years hence. |
||
|
Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
PIP's answer to Bobby Fischer turns out another absolute gem.... Bookworthy. ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
Karilea - If I whisper, will you listen?...
