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Dark Angel, Chipped Halo
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Dark Angel, Chipped Halo |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space 
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Charred wings folded neatly behind a broken back Remnants of distant days when the fate of Icarus was not her own Dark eyes that speak of innocence stolen and kingdoms lost Weighted by the gravity of afflictions she should never have borne They cloak her infinite beauty in shrouds of shadow and doubt May love find and mend the wounds that keep an angel grounded too long ____________________________________________________ I revisited this one and while I initially hated it it's grown on me. I also took Christopher's advice and finally broke it up a bit. |
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| © Copyright 2003 raphael giuffrida - All Rights Reserved | |||
Mistletoe Angel 
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (big hugggsssssss) Oh Raphael, this is so very heartaching but wonderfully written, sweet friend, I too hope the light soon breaks the camouflage and sets all these innocent souls free! (sad sigh) I too find that poems grow on me in time that I write and don't enjoy at first, I think as our poetry improves so does our wisdom grow and we understand why we wrote something and appreciate it when at first we are clueless! God Bless You, sweet friend, we all love you so much, you have my vote! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Raphael, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
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Chanson Senior Member
since 2000-08-19
Posts 1559Up Creek w/Out Paddle |
A 'drawing in' beginning, a strong ending, and an inbetween that's all good. *s When you think you have heard it all, |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
I like the way you redid it.  |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
Amen! A book poem for you sir! Deeper than most we get, and better written. ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
I am enjoying your return. Many interesting poems to catchup on. *s M |
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dgvarner Member Elite
since 2000-05-13
Posts 3552High Springs, Florida |
I like it  hugs, g "laughter is the shortest distance between two people" - victor borge |
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SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
"Weighted by the gravity of afflictions she should never have borne" "May love find and mend the wounds that keep an angel grounded too long" yes, I like this very much |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Excellent! This is one for the book!! ~Hugs~ ~ Trace my body with your words.. |
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Jason Lyle Senior Member
since 2003-02-07
Posts 1438With my darkling |
Another excellent write.My vote for sure. Jason |
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Charisma
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906lost in blue pages |
beautiful penned! Charisma |
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ellie LeJeune Member Elite
since 2000-01-10
Posts 4156King of Prussia, PA USA |
enchanting...Love can do that to an angels wings...Ellie |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
YES! The remake is wonderful. This has got to be one of your best, Raph. |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
Raph, very mystical and broken up in just the right places. |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
Thanks everybody for the vote of confidence as it were. Special thanks go to Christopher who suggested the breakup. He also wrote such a kind reply to the original that I grew to like what I'd thought was one of my worse. Thanks again everybody! |
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gemjop Member Elite
since 2002-11-18
Posts 2587Pencilveinia, USA |
Raphael my dark angel with chipped wings...i think the poem describes you. does it not? yep. don't disagree !!! lol, but to me, you're describing the way you feel. I don't remember the origional of this, but i'm glad it grew on you. friend, youre a master of deep feelings and description. p.s, stop putting me to shame, we joined on the same day, and look how many posts you've made compared to how many i have. bloody stop it! learning each day, for you and i, our paths have met, i've already learnt that you are love. |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
I like the feel and subject of this one. Nice ending [This message has been edited by hoot_owl_rn (02-25-2003 11:25 AM).] |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Raph, I think I like this one better than any of yours. I'm glad that you put it in verses. That really added to it, I think. I'm glad that you submitted it for the book, too. Hugs, Ethel |
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brian sites Senior Member
since 2002-06-25
Posts 1475usa |
damn.... this is one of the best of yours I have read..... wished I written it... fine fine piece of work this gotta be in yes |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
gemma written for a girl i know, thank you for the sweet words. My go we did post the same day didn't we wow! And as for puttng someone to shame take a look at you're writing I am in awe thank you hoot_owl Thanks Ethel I'm glad you think so and I'm waiting for you subission Thanks bri, funny how the ones i love nobody likes and the ones i don't get all the attention. am i crazy? well yes but you know what i mean |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
This is great poetry... I am glad that you posted this one for the book... regards, sudhir |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
"yes" |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
I remember this Raph and I still love it and in this format too. Definately voting! Maree |
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Justbleu Member Elite
since 1999-08-31
Posts 3329Oregon, Originally From Alaska :) |
I really like this so I voted!!!! Bridgette |
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LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion |
Except for the sex of the angel, and the innocence part, and the thing about once soaring, this poem could have been written about me. Yeah. But Toerag would never qualify for this poem, because he doesn't have all those qualities. BTW - I like this poem for, perhaps, the same reasons as you. It grows on a person with additional readings. Well done. |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Love the fluttering darkness, here. |
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christian Member
since 2002-12-18
Posts 331 |
the title drew me in, then i read it and as oppose to the poem growing on you, i loved it the first read. cool write bro. --chris. |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
Thanks sudhir very kind words Grins k Thanks Chipped Halo, I mean Dark angel..thanks Maree very sweet Justbleu godbless democracy! Thanks LngJhnAg I laughed my ass off at your profile Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion thanks for that and the vote thanks Bsqr I appreciate you stopping by thanks chris it was messier initially |
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
Liked this when it was in Open, glad it's here Ed |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
I can appreciate your masterful stroke of poetic paintbrush... Warm hugs on a very cold day, EA |
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Allysa
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952In an upside-down garden |
Wonderful. "Wie ein Quadrat in einem Kreis, eck' ich immer wieder an obwohl ich doch schon lange weiß, daß ich niemals ändern kann." ~Wizo |
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Munda Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544The Hague, The Netherlands |
Muchly enjoyed! |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
Thanks Ed much appreciated words needed to hear em Linda thanks for the always warm hugs and lovely replies So is your reply Allysa Thanks you Munda! |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
I think with the structure broken up a bit (not sure how it looked before) when you read it aloud, it creates pauses that add to the effectiveness of the entire piece. I loved the last lines. Again, I am almost embarrassed I have never read your work before as it has more than grown on me. (been reading the archives) Great work! |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
Raph - this is the first I have read this - you are brilliant - this - this is definitely my favorite - so far . . . Always amazing me you - this line WOW: May love find and mend the wounds that keep an angel grounded too long Im behind you - this just breathes xxoo |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
Appreciate that Mysteria, yes breaking it up was suggested early on but i didn't know how at first. After writing and reading as much as I have i learned to better judge those pauses and finally tackled this piece again Thanks Sue ironically the poem applies to someone, no? |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
May love find and mend the wounds that keep an angel grounded too long The title and ending..perfect. *s M |
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Greeneyes
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903In Your Poetic Mind |
wow!!! Here I am |
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WhiteRose Member Elite
since 2002-07-23
Posts 3208somebody's dungeon |
Dark and beautiful. Nicely done. |
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