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Guilty
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Guilty |
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fractal007 Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958 |
The Detatchment I can hear someone constantly screaming in my ear. He screams words like "guilty!" and "condemned!" The voice sounds oddly familiar, almost like the voice of someone I once knew. I think he had something to do with that time I was in highschool and something happened to me that had never happened before. Something horrible... The voice is getting louder now, but saying nothing. It's just a random ecstatic jibberish of screams. It's almost as though the person is walking around above me. I can't see his eyes, but if I could they would be red - blood red. He would look like some police interrogator from hell. That's what this all is. It's a police interrogation. I'm the unknowing, unwilling suspect in a fantastic crime of great and rare genius. I am the sickening genius who can quote shakespeare's sonnets by wrote and murder in cold blood. I don't think they'll pin me down though - not with my brains as their adversary. But I still hear that angry cry occasionally come from my captor. "Guilty!" "Condemned!" Eyes Eyes - those are the only things I see right now. They seem to be pinned right above me, to the ceiling of some strange chamber I'm in. Those hairy eyebrows lend to their eyes' analytical, angry gaze. It's almost as if they're demanding something of me. I can't respond... It's like I'm in some sort of tube filled with water. It's like I'm the last surviving specimen of the human race. The doctors don't want to lose me. They've put me in some sort of suspended animation. I'm floating freely inside this glass tube. They're all taking notes, watching my every twitch and move as I sleep on into some forgotten future. The computers display readouts. "His heartrate." "His brain." "His muscular system." "His circulatory system." "His eyes." "His guilt." Something coalesces in the corner of my eye. I check to see what it is. Nothing. Just more water. Just more doctors. Just more eyes watching my every move, seeing my every thought. Green Fields I can smell the breeze as I once knew it so long ago, in that life I once knew. I feel like I'm in a casket lying in a field in some forgotten place. The vinyl around me is tender to the touch and reasuring to the doubting mind. But the flowers, oh, the flowers, they smell so beautiful. The clouds above me embrace my vision like the love of God. What is God? Is he distant like this place? A rain drop presses itself about my forehead. Another taps my hand. Still another beckons my heart. My Room "How are you feeling?" The figure asks. I slowly recognize her as my mother. Slowly the eyes, the raindrops, the flowers and the doctors disappear from view and fade from my memory forever. "Fine," I answer. "I think I am getting better. This sickness is dissipating." She leaves. I slowly compose my thoughts. I grab a book, and as I lay down to read, I feel a note under my pillow. Written on it in fancy lettering is one word: guilty "If history is to change, let it change. If the world is to be destroyed, so be it. If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh" |
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| © Copyright 2003 fractal007 - All Rights Reserved | |||
Charisma
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906lost in blue pages |
enjoyed the read  Charisma |
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cupcake Member
since 2003-01-05
Posts 116 |
Interesting! Interestung write. It gets my vote. I'm a reader - not a writer. |
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Justbleu Member Elite
since 1999-08-31
Posts 3329Oregon, Originally From Alaska :) |
VERY COOL...and kinda SPOOKY!!!! I really enjoyed the read.... Bridgette |
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Chanson Senior Member
since 2000-08-19
Posts 1559Up Creek w/Out Paddle |
"...The doctors don't want to lose me. They've put me in some sort of suspended animation. I'm floating freely inside this glass tube. They're all taking notes, watching my every twitch and move as I sleep on into some forgotten future. The computers display readouts. "His heartrate." "His brain." "His muscular system." "His circulatory system." "His eyes." "His guilt."..." I like this paragraph. "His guilt" is a nice kicker. *s When you think you have heard it all, |
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Lighthousebob Member Elite
since 2000-06-14
Posts 4725California |
You are a very imaginative and intriguing writer my friend. This prose captures your audience right from the beginning to join in as it were in your interrogation of what appears to be some kind of hell and then I felt like you might be the voice of some test tube baby or something.... and then it's like woosh off to another world of perfect peace and harmony with nature and finally back to reality so it seems until the note. WOW!!! What a splendid journey... Glad that I had the opportunity to read you again. -Bob |
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Kellie_Cantrell Senior Member
since 2002-05-22
Posts 1667New York |
interesting indeed!! (¨`·.·´¨) (¨`·.·´¨) |
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Mistletoe Angel 
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 BRAVO!!! Oh Kevin, you are indeed a talented writer of prose, dearest friend, if only others could see that place of inner-enlightenment deep in you, beyond the olfactory bulbs of the eyes that illuminate such a place, and when you can't share such a vision there's nothing but questions and guilts! (big hugggssssss) This is marvelous, sweet friend, you have my vote, I am going to continue to look for your masterpieces, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Kevin, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
Fractured into a thousand colorful shards of glass... Warm hugs, EA |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Your prose is like something from out of the twilight zone |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
I agree with Ruth...I felt like I was reading Alfred Hitchcock, excep he was never the subject of his stories.... . . BTW, I have always loved to read Alfred Hitchcock.....  Hugs, Ethel |
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DawnG
since 2000-06-23
Posts 1494United States |
A very spooky read. You have my vote Dawn |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Very interesting write~well done. ~ Trace my body with your words.. |
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Allysa
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952In an upside-down garden |
While there were a few elements that I didn't feel in this, I really enjoyed the voice and the way that it was presented... you have my vote! "Wie ein Quadrat in einem Kreis, eck' ich immer wieder an obwohl ich doch schon lange weiß, daß ich niemals ändern kann." ~Wizo |
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SimplyGold Senior Member
since 2002-07-10
Posts 1453 |
Yes, this was a most interesting read. A bit frightening. You succeeded in capturing my interest throughtout the piece. SG |
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LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion |
Is this about schizophrenia or about something darker? Either way, it's chilling. You've written this so well I found myself in your skin - not a pretty place to be in this story. Well done. |
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Charisma
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906lost in blue pages |
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SPIRIT Senior Member
since 2002-12-29
Posts 1745California Desert |
Very interesting write. I cast my vote. |
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waldopepper Member
since 2003-03-18
Posts 157Tennessee, USA |
Kevin, this hits too close to home for me. I've been there and heard the words and seen the eyes before. And I've felt the sting of self-recrimination as well. Heartfelt and very heavy. |
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Aimster Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297Charlotte, NC |
kevin~ such an intense but wonderful short writing. you have my vote and i surely hope to see this this in the book! take care. amy "love is like a butterfly-- |
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