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lanes of cacti (reworked: originally from #23)
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lanes of cacti (reworked: originally from #23) |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium 
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there was a hole in the raining sky as an eerie light drew painful rays while drops of tears crowded her eyes that's when I saw a rainbow rise - colours all split, from within her eyes joy firmly divided by layers of hurt and I could see lightning crash inside like a camera flash caught in retakes looped in picturing yesterday’s sunset soon the rain had stopped and dark skies had cleared but the rainbow had been now replaced by tall shadows coloured in seven shades of grey now I see sorrow permanently framed in halls of memory like lanes of cacti crowding a desert formed by drought-filled years |
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| © Copyright 2003 Sudhir Iyer - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Yes, a good choice.... |
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El_Campeador Senior Member
since 2003-01-29
Posts 761Ohio, USA |
Good poem. I really enjoyed the second stanza. The imagery of a rainbow, with layers of joy and layers of grief, really touched my heart. So I have a smile  and a vote for you!Blessings, El Campeador “We are all travelers in the wilderness of this world, and the best that we can find in our travels is an honest friend.” –Robert Louis Stevenson |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Sudhir...you have certainly grown as a poet in your time here and it's been interesting to watch your progression up to this point in your writing. The final stanza in this poem makes such an impact on the reader. Well done |
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Charisma
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906lost in blue pages |
beautiful......enjoyed the read a lot. Charisma |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
I still find it amazing that you can write like this and English isn't even your first language! You are very good, you know! VERY GOOD! Warm appreciative hugs for this write! Linda |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Love the imagery Sudhir, excellent! Maree |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Beautiful..just beautiful.  |
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Mistletoe Angel 
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (big hugggsssssss) Oh Sudhir, this is so sadly beautiful, sweet friend, I hope now the rain has filled your wasteland and turned it into Eden with true love and bluebirds of happiness singing around you! (sigh) This is touching, sweet friend, you have my vote, many angel hugs to you, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Sudhir, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
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majnu
since 2002-10-13
Posts 1088SF Bay Area |
this is remarkably picturesque. it almost feels like you were just flexing your poetic trope creating muscles. -majnu |
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Paul Wilson
since 2002-07-07
Posts 4711United States |
Sudhir Iyer...May your rainbows always brighten your life...Paul "To share my poems with you is to share my heart with you" [This message has been edited by Paul Wilson (02-18-2003 11:42 PM).] |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
there was a hole in the raining sky as an eerie light drew painful rays while drops of tears crowded her eyes that's when I saw a rainbow rise - colours all split, from within her eyes joy firmly divided by layers of hurt ================================ so glad you came back, wouldnt be a pips book with out ya. excellent writing poet Sud... the imagery and personification worked together superbly. " ... And think not, that you can direct the course of love ... if it finds you worthy ... it then directs your course." K.Gibran |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Sudhir, I think this is a very good choice for the book submission. I really like this one... "Love makes the world go around" |
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christian Member
since 2002-12-18
Posts 331 |
poetry at it's peak. mixed words with images and a combination of emotions to tell a great story. nice pick for the anthology. -chris. |
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winston Member
since 2002-12-19
Posts 204NW of Eden |
I like the third stanza and the choice of title. Overall, a fantastic read. Thanks. It's amazing I won. I was running against peace, prosperity, & incumbency. |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Yes!! Excellent choice!! ~ Trace my body with your words.. |
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Moonlight Romeo
since 2001-09-10
Posts 982The heart of you |
Superbly done in vision, and in form. An excellent choice. Thank you. What light through yon window breaks? It is the east, and Juliet is the sun. |
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Wind
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981 |
That was my favorite one of yours. It's in my library the Wind is invisible. |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
I'm happy to see you submit, Sudhir - and this is an excellent choice...  |
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CocoBaci Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043 |
Ohh Sudhir, ya got me all smiling when I came across a thread leading to your poem... A true jewel if I may say so DearPoetFriend and a keepsake of a read for me as well... SmilesNhugs2uPoetFriend *~coco~* |
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jbouder Member Elite
since 1999-09-18
Posts 2534Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash |
Well done, Sudhir. Jim |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
enjoyed |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Excellent work! *S* |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
I always enjoy your work, Sudhir, and this windblown, rain-starved piece is no exception. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
now I see sorrow permanently framed in halls of memory like lanes of cacti crowding a desert formed by drought-filled years YES... |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
You know..I have read you for quite some time..and each time you come back..and grace us with an offering I am impressed.. I remember this one in its original post.. and liked it then.. even more now.. |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
Glad that you have chosen this one, Sudhir. This is quite vivid: "and I could see lightning crash inside like a camera flash caught in retakes looped in picturing yesterday’s sunset" |
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ecrivan Member Elite
since 2001-12-10
Posts 3923my own state |
well done Sudhir |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
A very excellent choice, Sudhir. You paint the images with the brush of a true artist..VOTING!! |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
The images you create simply astound me Sudhir. |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
Sudhir~ This is so beautifully penned and a wonderful choice for submission. Hugs, ~Vicky "...until you have read the verse on his heart, |
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Justbleu Member Elite
since 1999-08-31
Posts 3329Oregon, Originally From Alaska :) |
Sudhir....a perfect poem for the book!!! Very nice!!!! Bridgette  |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
An excellent choice for your submission Sudhir ... you have captured beautiful images here, wonderful! Best wishes, /Kit |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
I can't even begin to express how welcome this place feels each time I come here... Many many thanks for the warmth, the grace... and the honour to be amongst such kind souls... Regards to each one of you, Sudhir |
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Magicmystery Senior Member
since 2002-02-13
Posts 821Windsor, Ontario, Canada |
Is this the sound a heart makes as it freezes cold away? This was so beautifully well done..... I had to read it twice before posting my reply. Such a sad and bittersweet poem and but for the grace of God go I. My wandering searching spirit-bird Cruising the night her song is sung. Too often, too late, healing left undone Dayrise and another soul mourns the sun. But is it really too late when even the cacti hold the sweet promise of life? Warmest regards, Sherry Cherish the good memories of the past and look forward to the adventure called Tomorrow. But above all... be kind to yourself today. |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Wonderful poem, Sudhir...voting! |
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Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
Sudhir - Nice to see you, and your writing is indeed worthy of being in the book, click says me... BC |
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SPIRIT Senior Member
since 2002-12-29
Posts 1745California Desert |
Magnificent write - my vote is in. I be me BUT who does me be? |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
'and I could see lightning crash inside like a camera flash caught in retakes looped in picturing yesterday’s sunset' Great choice Sudhir! |
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aries_luv_ppl Senior Member
since 2001-09-20
Posts 1448Universal Mind |
this is awesome! I like the imagery I get from the poem. ~Every girl has a dream within. [This message has been edited by aries_luv_ppl (02-21-2003 12:02 PM).] |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Thank you all very very much... Regards, Sudhir |
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Munda Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544The Hague, The Netherlands |
One of your best! |
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Chanson Senior Member
since 2000-08-19
Posts 1559Up Creek w/Out Paddle |
Sudhir- You brought the sky to life. Enjoyed muchly! *s When you think you have heard it all, |
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wayoutwalt Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870TEXAS (it's all big) |
you got it oh yuh! |
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LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
"that's when I saw a rainbow rise - colours all split, from within her eyes joy firmly divided by layers of hurt" I really enjoyed this piece... great emotions and imagery. You definently have my vote! Oh, make me Thine forever |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
My grateful thanks to each of you... regards, sudhir |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
You are talented, Sudhir! Well done! |
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Larry C
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286United States |
sudhir, Seems I'll not look at the cacti the same again. Well done. Voting now. If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again. |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Thank you all so very much, Denise and Larry... regards, sudhir |
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Sunnyone Member Ascendant
since 2000-07-06
Posts 5334Staffordshire, England |
Oh yes, this is a definite go!!!!! Sudhir, I love the pictures you paint in this, and was caught by your shadows, in seven shades of gray....marvelous write, my friend!! Accept these small gifts from my gypsy heart ~~S~~ |
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DawnG
since 2000-06-23
Posts 1494United States |
I really enjoyed the imagery here. Great submission Dawn |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
that's when I saw a rainbow rise - colours all split, from within her eyes joy firmly divided by layers of hurt love this verse Sudhir... nice picture of you, too. *s M |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Thank you very much my dear friends... Regards, Sudhir |
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Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
Sorry, I've meant to reply to this for ages but I've not been as active in the Reflections forum as I've wanted to be. It's the last month of classes and I'm swamped with work when I'm not playing in poetry land. Sudhir, as always your work impresses me and is deserving of my praise. When I write I really have to reach deeply into my imagination to pluck out those creative images, but it seems like you've got them flowing freely. I envy that. Like lanes of cacti... what an image. You push my mind places I never thought it would go. Thanks for that. Voting. Parasite "Faith" means the will to avoid knowing what is true. |
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Street Heart Member
since 2002-09-05
Posts 349Pennsylvania,USA |
Wow,Sudhir! This is just beautiful and so well written.How have you been doing,my friend?I hope you are well.I see the voting was closed on this.Still gets my vote,anyway! Peace,Geoffrey If a man has not discovered something he is willing to die for,his life is not worth living. |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Thanks a lot LP and Geoffrey... Regards, sudhir |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
Well maybe I am too late to vote for this one but when I read it, I knew I had to at least make a comment. that's when I saw a rainbow rise - colours all split, from within her eyes joy firmly divided by layers of hurt ********************** Your descriptive lines give much to the imagery of this piece and the above verse really impacts the reader to the point of wanting to reflect abit before continuing. Wonderfully worded but of course you always did have that flair about you. ************************* and I could see lightning crash inside like a camera flash caught in retakes looped in picturing yesterday’s sunset ******************** There again your imagery is astounding and it is almost as if we can peer inside along with you and see some just a part of what she holds inside as well. Truely a wonderful read sir. Congrats and I am glad it is going in the book. |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Mark, I will tell you what... You are missed here.... thank you very much, my friend for coming by... Regards, Sudhir |
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