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Sudhir Iyer
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since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium

0 posted 2003-02-18 03:48 PM


there was a hole
in the raining sky
as an eerie light
drew painful rays
while drops of tears
crowded her eyes

that's when I saw
a rainbow rise -
colours all split,
from within her eyes
joy firmly divided
by layers of hurt

and I could see
lightning crash inside
like a camera flash
caught in retakes
looped in picturing
yesterday’s sunset

soon the rain had stopped
and dark skies had cleared
but the rainbow
had been now replaced
by tall shadows coloured
in seven shades of grey

now I see sorrow
permanently framed
in halls of memory
like lanes of cacti
crowding a desert
formed by drought-filled years

© Copyright 2003 Sudhir Iyer - All Rights Reserved
Sunshine
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Listening to every heart
1 posted 2003-02-18 03:50 PM



Yes, a good choice....

El_Campeador
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since 2003-01-29
Posts 761
Ohio, USA
2 posted 2003-02-18 03:52 PM


Good poem. I really enjoyed the second stanza. The imagery of a rainbow, with layers of joy and layers of grief, really touched my heart.

So I have a smile and a vote for you!

Blessings,

El Campeador

“We are all travelers in the wilderness of this world, and the best that we can find in our travels is an honest friend.” –Robert Louis Stevenson

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
3 posted 2003-02-18 04:25 PM


Sudhir...you have certainly grown as a poet in your time here and it's been interesting to watch your progression up to this point in your writing. The final stanza in this poem makes such an impact on the reader. Well done  


Charisma
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lost in blue pages
4 posted 2003-02-18 04:35 PM


beautiful......enjoyed the read a lot.



Charisma

Earth Angel
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Realms of Light
5 posted 2003-02-18 04:40 PM


I still find it amazing that you can write like this and English isn't even your first language! You are very good, you know! VERY GOOD!

Warm appreciative hugs for this write!
Linda

Dark Angel
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since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

6 posted 2003-02-18 04:45 PM


Love the imagery Sudhir, excellent!

Maree

Poet deVine
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Hurricane Alley
7 posted 2003-02-18 06:32 PM


Beautiful..just beautiful.
Mistletoe Angel
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8 posted 2003-02-18 07:10 PM




(big hugggsssssss) Oh Sudhir, this is so sadly beautiful, sweet friend, I hope now the rain has filled your wasteland and turned it into Eden with true love and bluebirds of happiness singing around you! (sigh) This is touching, sweet friend, you have my vote, many angel hugs to you, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Sudhir, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

majnu
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SF Bay Area
9 posted 2003-02-18 07:14 PM


this is remarkably picturesque. it almost feels like you were just flexing your poetic trope creating muscles.

-majnu
--------------------------------------
Timid thoughts be not afraid. I am a Poet.

Paul Wilson
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United States
10 posted 2003-02-18 11:42 PM


Sudhir Iyer...May your rainbows always brighten your life...Paul  


"To share my poems with you is to share my heart with you"

[This message has been edited by Paul Wilson (02-18-2003 11:42 PM).]

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

11 posted 2003-02-19 12:54 PM


there was a hole
in the raining sky
as an eerie light
drew painful rays
while drops of tears
crowded her eyes

that's when I saw
a rainbow rise -
colours all split,
from within her eyes
joy firmly divided
by layers of hurt
================================


so glad you came back, wouldnt be a pips book with out ya. excellent writing poet Sud...
the imagery and personification worked together superbly.

" ... And think not, that you can direct the course of love ...
if it finds you worthy ...  it then directs your course."

K.Gibran


garysgirl
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Florida, USA
12 posted 2003-02-19 01:02 AM


Sudhir, I think this is a very good choice for the book submission. I really like this one...

"Love makes the world go around"
~with love and hugs from Ethel GG~  
                  

christian
Member
since 2002-12-18
Posts 331

13 posted 2003-02-19 01:04 AM



poetry at it's peak. mixed words with
images and a combination of emotions to
tell a great story. nice pick for the
anthology.

-chris.

winston
Member
since 2002-12-19
Posts 204
NW of Eden
14 posted 2003-02-19 08:44 AM


I like the third stanza and the choice of title. Overall, a fantastic read. Thanks.

It's amazing I won. I was running against peace, prosperity, & incumbency.
--G. "DUBYA" BUSH. June 14, 2001. Unaware of rolling TV camera.

Enchantress
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since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
15 posted 2003-02-19 08:48 AM


Yes!! Excellent choice!!

~ Trace my body with your words..
And in doing so, you touch my heart. ~

Moonlight Romeo
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The heart of you
16 posted 2003-02-19 09:34 AM


Superbly done in vision, and in form.  An excellent choice.

Thank you.

What light through yon window breaks?  It is the east, and Juliet is the sun.

Wind
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since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981

17 posted 2003-02-19 10:07 AM


That was my favorite one of yours. It's in my library

the Wind is invisible.
        remeber me

Nan
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since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
18 posted 2003-02-19 10:09 AM


I'm happy to see you submit, Sudhir - and this is an excellent choice...
CocoBaci
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043

19 posted 2003-02-19 12:11 PM


Ohh Sudhir, ya got me all smiling when I came across a thread leading to your poem...
A true jewel if I may say so DearPoetFriend and a keepsake of a read for me as well...
SmilesNhugs2uPoetFriend
*~coco~*

jbouder
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since 1999-09-18
Posts 2534
Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash
20 posted 2003-02-19 12:46 PM


Well done, Sudhir.

Jim

vandana
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21 posted 2003-02-19 12:56 PM


enjoyed
suthern
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Louisiana
22 posted 2003-02-19 05:15 PM


Excellent work! *S*
bsquirrel
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23 posted 2003-02-19 05:18 PM


I always enjoy your work, Sudhir, and this windblown, rain-starved piece is no exception.
serenity blaze
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since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

24 posted 2003-02-19 07:43 PM


now I see sorrow
permanently framed
in halls of memory
like lanes of cacti
crowding a desert
formed by drought-filled years


YES...

Cpat Hair
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since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

25 posted 2003-02-19 07:48 PM


You know..I have read you for quite some time..and each time you come back..and grace us with an offering I am impressed.. I remember this one in its original post.. and liked it then.. even more now..



Midnitesun
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Gaia
26 posted 2003-02-19 08:48 PM


Glad that you have chosen this one, Sudhir.
This is quite vivid:

"and I could see
lightning crash inside
like a camera flash
caught in retakes
looped in picturing
yesterday’s sunset"


ecrivan
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since 2001-12-10
Posts 3923
my own state
27 posted 2003-02-19 08:54 PM


well done Sudhir


Balladeer
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28 posted 2003-02-19 09:05 PM


A very excellent choice, Sudhir. You paint the images with the brush of a true artist..VOTING!!
Mysteria
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29 posted 2003-02-20 01:19 AM


The images you create simply astound me Sudhir.

          
~* Carpe' Diem *~  

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
30 posted 2003-02-20 01:31 AM



Sudhir~
This is so beautifully penned
and a wonderful choice for submission.
Hugs,
~Vicky

"...until you have read the verse on his heart,
you have not truly met the poet.
~vlraynes

Justbleu
Member Elite
since 1999-08-31
Posts 3329
Oregon, Originally From Alaska :)
31 posted 2003-02-20 02:37 AM


Sudhir....a perfect poem for the book!!!  Very nice!!!!

Bridgette


Kit McCallum
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since 2000-04-30
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Ontario, Canada
32 posted 2003-02-20 07:06 AM


An excellent choice for your submission Sudhir ... you have captured beautiful images here, wonderful!

Best wishes,
/Kit

Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
33 posted 2003-02-20 01:03 PM


I can't even begin to express how welcome this place feels each time I come here... Many many thanks for the warmth, the grace... and the honour to be amongst such kind souls...

Regards to each one of you,
Sudhir

Magicmystery
Senior Member
since 2002-02-13
Posts 821
Windsor, Ontario, Canada
34 posted 2003-02-20 04:45 PM


Is this the sound a heart makes as it freezes cold away?
This was so beautifully well done.....
I had to read it twice
before posting my reply.  
Such a sad and bittersweet poem
and but for the grace of God go I.

My wandering searching spirit-bird
Cruising the night her song is sung.
Too often, too late, healing left undone
Dayrise and another soul mourns the sun.

But is it really too late when even the cacti hold the sweet promise of life?

Warmest regards,

Sherry

Cherish the good memories of the past and look forward to the adventure called Tomorrow. But above all... be kind to yourself today.

Martie
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California
35 posted 2003-02-20 06:15 PM


Wonderful poem, Sudhir...voting!
Bill Charles
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since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now
36 posted 2003-02-21 12:24 PM


Sudhir - Nice to see you, and your writing is indeed worthy of being in the book, click says me...

BC

SPIRIT
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since 2002-12-29
Posts 1745
California Desert
37 posted 2003-02-21 08:10 AM


Magnificent write - my vote is in.

I be me BUT who does me be?

Duncan
Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455

38 posted 2003-02-21 09:45 AM


'and I could see
lightning crash inside
like a camera flash
caught in retakes
looped in picturing
yesterday’s sunset'

Great choice Sudhir!

aries_luv_ppl
Senior Member
since 2001-09-20
Posts 1448
Universal Mind
39 posted 2003-02-21 12:02 PM


this is awesome! I like the imagery I get from the poem.

~Every girl has a dream within.

[This message has been edited by aries_luv_ppl (02-21-2003 12:02 PM).]

Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
40 posted 2003-02-21 02:30 PM


Thank you all very very much...

Regards,
Sudhir

Munda
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The Hague, The Netherlands
41 posted 2003-02-22 08:21 AM


One of your best!
Chanson
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since 2000-08-19
Posts 1559
Up Creek w/Out Paddle
42 posted 2003-02-23 11:08 AM


Sudhir-
You brought the sky
to life.
Enjoyed muchly! *s

When you think you have heard it all,
listen more closely.
~Dorene

wayoutwalt
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since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870
TEXAS (it's all big)
43 posted 2003-02-23 01:14 PM


you got it oh yuh!
LoveBug
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44 posted 2003-02-23 09:23 PM


"that's when I saw
a rainbow rise -
colours all split,
from within her eyes
joy firmly divided
by layers of hurt"

I really enjoyed this piece... great emotions and imagery. You definently have my vote!

Oh, make me Thine forever
And should I fainting be
Lord, let me never ever
Outlive my love for Thee

Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
45 posted 2003-02-24 11:26 AM


My grateful thanks to each of you...

regards,
sudhir

Denise
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since 1999-08-22
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46 posted 2003-02-25 09:06 PM


You are talented, Sudhir! Well done!
Larry C
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47 posted 2003-02-27 12:29 PM


sudhir,
Seems I'll not look at the cacti the same again. Well done. Voting now.

If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again.

Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
48 posted 2003-02-28 03:55 AM


Thank you all so very much, Denise and Larry...

regards,
sudhir

Sunnyone
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since 2000-07-06
Posts 5334
Staffordshire, England
49 posted 2003-02-28 01:29 PM


Oh yes, this is a definite go!!!!!  Sudhir, I love the pictures you paint in this, and was caught by your shadows, in seven shades of gray....marvelous write, my friend!!

Accept these small gifts from my gypsy heart  ~~S~~

DawnG
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50 posted 2003-03-02 11:51 PM


I really enjoyed the imagery here. Great submission

                     Dawn

nakdthoughts
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Between the Lines
51 posted 2003-03-05 03:47 PM


that's when I saw
a rainbow rise -
colours all split,
from within her eyes
joy firmly divided
by layers of hurt


love this verse Sudhir... nice picture of you, too.
*s
M

Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
52 posted 2003-03-06 04:09 AM


Thank you very much my dear friends...

Regards,
Sudhir

Local Parasite
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Transylconia, Winnipeg
53 posted 2003-03-06 03:05 PM


Sorry, I've meant to reply to this for ages but I've not been as active in the Reflections forum as I've wanted to be.  It's the last month of classes and I'm swamped with work when I'm not playing in poetry land.

Sudhir, as always your work impresses me and is deserving of my praise.  When I write I really have to reach deeply into my imagination to pluck out those creative images, but it seems like you've got them flowing freely.  I envy that.

Like lanes of cacti... what an image.  You push my mind places I never thought it would go.  Thanks for that.

Voting.
Parasite

"Faith" means the will to avoid knowing what is true.
~ Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Street Heart
Member
since 2002-09-05
Posts 349
Pennsylvania,USA
54 posted 2003-03-24 02:50 PM


Wow,Sudhir! This is just beautiful and so well written.How have you been doing,my friend?I hope you are well.I see the voting was closed on this.Still gets my vote,anyway!

Peace,Geoffrey

If a man has not discovered something he is willing to die for,his life is not worth living.

Martin Luther King,Jr. Detroit,1963

Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
55 posted 2003-03-27 10:32 AM


Thanks a lot LP and Geoffrey...

Regards,
sudhir

Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269
In the winds of Cherokee song
56 posted 2003-04-01 06:17 PM


Well maybe I am too late to vote for this one but when I read it, I knew I had to at least make a comment.  

that's when I saw
a rainbow rise -
colours all split,
from within her eyes
joy firmly divided
by layers of hurt
**********************

Your descriptive lines give much to the imagery of this piece and the above verse really impacts the reader to the point of wanting to reflect abit before continuing.  Wonderfully worded but of course you always did have that flair about you.

*************************
and I could see
lightning crash inside
like a camera flash
caught in retakes
looped in picturing
yesterday’s sunset
********************

There again your imagery is astounding and it is almost as if we can peer inside along with you and see some just a part of what she holds inside as well.  

Truely a wonderful read sir.  Congrats and I am glad it is going in the book.

Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
57 posted 2003-04-03 11:16 AM


Mark, I will tell you what... You are missed here.... thank you very much, my friend for coming by...

Regards,
Sudhir

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navwin » Archives » Reflections on the Web » lanes of cacti (reworked: originally from #23)

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