Reflections on the Web |
'Armless Yarn |
sweetwater Member
since 2002-12-16
Posts 178Perth |
!! ok I'll try this at least once... again! hehehe. ‘armless Yarn A smoke-filled room, a loud gaffaw, the barmaid pours a beer, the pub is full of country blokes and Aussie atmosphere. Some 'Chisel' thru the speakers, the racetrack on the telly, pool table sending iv'ry balls to its underbelly. Walls adorned with history, and heads of native birds, the Nation'l Anthem in a frame, 'cause no-one knows the words. An ag'ed man sits in the corner, sipping at his ale, his teeth are stained, his liver's shot, his ragged skin is pale. Young buck swaggers in and, as the room lets up a shout, he tips his head in mock salute and takes his earnings out. Good mates standing at the bar as jugs are passed around, the yarns are flowing freely to impress the growing crowd. The old man in the corner holds his voice above the din, "You boys want a story, eh? Well, buck up and listen in. Jus' the other day this feller was sat here at the bar, he held his glass with steel hook, his cheek, it had a scar. That scar, it ran from ear to chin, crikey it was shockin', angry, red and all inflamed, he'd taken quite a coppin'. With legs the size of tree trunks an' a barrel for a chest, he looked as though, with just one blow, he'd put a man to rest. I ventured on the happenings, and nodded to his claws, he turned to me, quite wearily, and spoke, after a pause." As if to emulate the mood, the old man waits a bit, he squints his eyes upon the crowd and makes a show of it. "This bloke is felling up a tree, 'bout fifty foot or so, a lightning bolt, he gets a jolt, the chainsaw he lets go. It backs up from the branch and lops off both his paws, then, before he thinks to catch 'em, they hit the forest floors. He’s with them soon enough, as the rest of him descended. I shakes me head, 'Christ!' I says, tryin' to comprehend it." The crowd is leaning forward and the air is getting tense, the old man lights a cigarette, just to build suspense. He slowly sips at his beer, then lifts his head to speak, "Me eyes then trail from steel claws to mark upon 'is cheek, 'That how you did your face in, the chainsaw misbehavin'?' He took a pause, held up his claws, and shrugged, "Cut it shavin'."" [This message has been edited by Poet deVine (03-12-2003 07:00 PM).] |
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© Copyright 2003 Tash - All Rights Reserved | |||
kaile
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore |
hey, tash, set it to book submission mode so that we can vote for this tash, this is probably an unworthy comment but i do learn something new whenever i spend some time here...i have never thought of writing something in accordance to my characters' speech patterns and this read is made more delightful as i tried to stay to the "'" [This message has been edited by kaile (03-12-2003 12:10 AM).] |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
(big hugggsssssss) But the shavin' is just another story altogether! (smiles) I am happy you re-posted this so I can vote again, this time Ron will work out all the kinks, yay, God Bless You, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Tash, thank you for sharing! May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." Shakira [This message has been edited by Mistletoe Angel (03-12-2003 12:17 AM).] |
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kaile
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore |
Voted! and the ending is rather unsettling if i may say so..how can someone shave like that? |
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sweetwater Member
since 2002-12-16
Posts 178Perth |
kaile - oops I forgot to tick the book thingy.. thanks for the reminder kaile! Mistletoe Angel - what an enthusiastic reply! lol... thankyou! |
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majnu
since 2002-10-13
Posts 1088SF Bay Area |
vote, and Your title needs to be exactly as it was in the original post. This instruction is as per Ron's instructions in his announcement. Please refer to his list for the correct formatting of your title. -majnu |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
This is a very good book submission and a delightful read. I enjoyed it very much. "Love makes the world go around" |
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Chanson Senior Member
since 2000-08-19
Posts 1559Up Creek w/Out Paddle |
Good story, good flow, good poem. *s When you think you have heard it all, |
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jbouder Member Elite
since 1999-09-18
Posts 2534Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash |
Well written story. I enjoyed it. Jim |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
checks in the box(not the mail) PS, you have to delete the re-submit info from the title, and make the title 'xactly the same as it was the first time.... |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
YES!! But of course! ~Hugs~ ~ Trace my body with your words.. |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
I edited your title to make it the SAME as it was before the glitch. I hope you don't mind, but Ron asked that reposts be done with the exact title.. I like story poems very much and I'm glad to have read yours and vote for it! |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Even the sound of chainsaws scare me LOL, but I voted for you anyway. |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
This had me ROFL when I first read it... I'm more than glad to replace my lost vote! *S* |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
Oh, do please write more stories! Peace & Light, Earth Angel |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Ha ha ha ha! Love the vigor and the boasting in this poem. |
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waldopepper Member
since 2003-03-18
Posts 157Tennessee, USA |
Just delightful! I do love a good bar yarn! No doubt the listeners were on tippy toes, straining for every wonderful word! |
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Lost Dreamer Member Elite
since 1999-06-20
Posts 2464Somewhere near the Rainbow |
This is a very interesting read, and I love the way it ended. Sometimes we have to follow a stronger voice, even if it's silent. |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
Tash - felt like I was sittin round a campfire there for a sec - nice storytelling xxoo |
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sweetwater Member
since 2002-12-16
Posts 178Perth |
Phew! I finally made my way through the overgrowth of life to make it back here. Thankyou Poet deVine for editing for me and a big thanks to all those who replied and voted, I lost my way there for a while, but you still read through my silence. That makes my day |
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SimplyGold Senior Member
since 2002-07-10
Posts 1453 |
Bravo, this has got to be in.. This was a great piece, it took me right in. I swear I was sittin at the bar. SG |
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Joyce Johnson
since 2001-03-10
Posts 9912Washington State |
I know I voted before, but I don't know how they keep track and this is good. Joyce |
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SPIRIT Senior Member
since 2002-12-29
Posts 1745California Desert |
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sweetwater Member
since 2002-12-16
Posts 178Perth |
may not be a big deal to some of the many times published poets here.. but I am stoked!! thankyou everyone!!!! huge |
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