Untitled - any suggestions?

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BlueEyes
Member

since 2002-08-30

Posts 152
TX, USA

0 posted 2002-12-27 02:56 PM

Of all the things I long to tell you, so many things are left unsaid.

Why? Because I'm scared...

Scared of what you'll say in return, scared that I will push you away.

Ironic, isn't it?

That I share my body with you - bearing all - leaving nothing to the imagination...

Yet I'm too afraid to bear my soul?

ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-02-22

Posts 9353
Michigan, USA

1 posted 2002-12-27 03:17 PM

Such a true inspiration here...great write.
Suggestion: In Cloak
Fine as is. ThisDiamond

BlueEyes
Member

since 2002-08-30

Posts 152
TX, USA

2 posted 2002-12-27 03:19 PM

Thank You, ThisDiamond... I always appreciate your replies.

BlueEyes

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-18

Posts 7350
the ass-end of space

3 posted 2002-12-27 03:21 PM

Bleeding with honesty, can't think of a title but really liked the words

jellybeans
Member Elite

since 2000-10-13

Posts 2298

4 posted 2002-12-27 03:22 PM

I do not usually offer titles, as they can sway a poem greatly....but one does come to mind...
unsaid Soul

nice work

jwesley
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-04-30

Posts 7563
Spring, Texas

5 posted 2002-12-27 06:17 PM

"Fragility", passes between my ears...I see that in your words, your heart, as you tenuously reach out from the shelter of with-holding. Yet chance must be taken, or time has been wasted, delaying the goal, whether it be him or another...

When we sit with our eyes closed we don't see the beauty before us. But with them open we can push aside that which obstructs our view...and behold the wonder...

...warmth of my heart, my friend,

jwesley

[This message has been edited by jwesley (12-27-2002 06:17 PM).]

garysgirl

Member Laureate

since 2002-09-29

Posts 19237
Florida, USA

6 posted 2003-01-28 05:04 PM

I like this. Maybe it needs another round?

"Love makes the world go around"
~~with love and hugs from Ethel~~

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

7 posted 2003-01-30 04:09 AM

Wow this is hard to think of a title...but of course I did think of one...not sure if its what you had in mind...the title is...
"Body and Soul"...hope you like it...James

Nan

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-20

Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA

8 posted 2003-01-30 07:31 AM

I tend to like one-word titles... How about "Fear"?

regards2you
Member Elite

since 2002-10-01

Posts 3940
California

9 posted 2003-01-30 10:08 AM

Vulnerability; so hard to take a chance and trust....

I liked this very much. True part of life and loving.

Pat

..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
"Desiderata"

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