»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #24
»
Tangled
| Open Poetry #24 |
|
Tangled |
|
|
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California 
|
Tangled The air-tangled hair of me takes flight wanting to leave you there on the bench looking across the tree lined street with your earnest eyes I am afraid of the rip in this city where the glass eyes have watched time crack the sidewalk even as the rose blooms slowly for years now the spider has taken over the corner where the twilight lingers at five Calm me back with the sweet of you your hand the current its direction a suave for my errant flutter I want to be strong rope for you to hold but I fly and I am afraid of the tear in this gown that I have worn called oh what what is it called it is turning into wing even as I hold it down with gold rings of intention and all the pretty pieces are flying all around and I can't catch them with my love can't catch them so you must [This message has been edited by Martie (02-06-2003 08:11 PM).] |
||
| © Copyright 2003 Martie Odell Ingebretsen - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
hold it down with gold rings of intention you, amaze me... but you always do... and then? You make me smile... |
||
Mistletoe Angel 
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (smiles) Oh Martie, this is lovely, sweet friend, this made me smile as all your gorgeous words seem to flitter like silk across the pages! (kiss on cheek) This is precious, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Martie, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
||
|
Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
"Calm me back with the sweet of you your hand the current its direction a suave for my errant flutter I want to be strong rope for you to hold but I fly and I am afraid of the tear in this gown that I have worn called oh what what is it called it is turning into wing even as I hold it down with gold rings of intention and all the pretty pieces are flying all around and I can't catch them with my love can't catch them so you must" ============================================ Martie...Martie!..once again I find myself trying to remember to breathe as I read you.... Amazing..so amazingly beautiful! ~Hugs & Smiles, Nancy~ ~ Trace my body with your words.. |
||
|
Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
That's what it's all about - One picking up the pieces for the other in time of need... Lovely, Martie..  |
||
|
ThisDiamond Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353Michigan, USA |
Never worry that the earth will leave your feet, or that the love will leave your side...I sense the sky will hold the sun upon you always. Liked this. TD |
||
|
Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
Martie - lovely as always, to catch them, well if I would... BC |
||
Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
OhSweetSis~ You are still soooooooooo beautifully word-blessed. Love you ... and I'm fine~ *Huglets* ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ |
||
|
lucky Senior Member
since 2000-01-17
Posts 1601Idaho |
well, I would only change 8 or 9 words add another 4 verses or so and put my logo on the bottom somewhere and say I wrote it. Do you mind.. ? he he... hay is that Marge I see..? The dynamic duo is back. Sheeh, now what's up... love your touch marty, love to you and taylor lucky dale Speaking of ghosts, and after such an eternity. . .wouldn't you know, here comes mine again... |
||
|
BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
Martie, you catch the readers breath and take hold of it. Love the tangle and tango in your poetry...and the way your words step ever so beautifully. So real it feels...... |
||
|
Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
I am afraid of the rip in this city where the glass eyes have watched time crack the sidewalk ========================== Calm me back with the sweet of you your hand the current its direction a suave for my errant flutter ========================== and I am afraid of the tear in this gown that I have worn called oh what what is it called it is turning into wing even as I hold it down with gold rings of intention and all the pretty pieces are flying all around and I can't catch them with my love can't catch them so you must ============================== *shaking my head* absolutely amazingly achingly AWESOME!!!! This wraps around me like a beach born breeze... I am giddy...your poetry touches places so high that I get light headed reading it... or perhaps thats the poet envy of me muse.. cuz IWANNAWRITELIKETHISWHENIGROWUP!!  it is turning into wing even as I hold it down with gold rings of intention and all the pretty pieces are flying all around and I can't catch them with my love my oh my oh my...my oh MARTIE my |
||
|
SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
"Calm me back with the sweet of you your hand the current its direction a suave for my errant flutter I want to be strong rope for you to hold but I fly" ....wow... that's all I can think of just now.... hope that will do |
||
|
carol Senior Member
since 2003-01-25
Posts 624Florida USA |
Martie, i really loved this |
||
|
Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
Another magic carpet ride! I just marvel at the way you combine imagery and then flow it into a mold it would never have found on its own. I don't read your poetry. I drink it. ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
||
|
garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Martie, your poetry does have a way of making the reader hold their breath while reading it. It's so beautiful..  "Love makes the world go around" |
||
|
Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
yeah..it makes sense... |
||
|
Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
Wanting To leave you there Watching the tree-lined street From this bench, my air-tangled hair Takes flight .....hmmmm.... could almost do that..... but no, it's darn near perfect as it stands so Don't mess with it, Rat-boy. You wanna do cinquain, go over to the Workshop.... All the same, it was fun playing with the words of this sweet poem, even though I knew I had no chance to improve anything! ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
||
|
Goodknight Member Elite
since 2002-06-15
Posts 2386Ohio, USA |
Martie - the magic of your words - your poetry does touch me so deepy that I am not sure I have been aware that place existed - your write so well - Paul |
||
|
Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
just came back to read this beauty again... Im still trying to find my "errant flutter"...I know I could write like this if I had one Maybe I keep it in the "vestibule of my heart" the moth never forgets the poetry that knocks her socks off. LOL |
||
|
Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Jeez Martie.. you never cease to amaze me. This is really another incredible write from you. Thank you. adding to my library. Maree |
||
|
Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
Absolutely exquisite!---Absolutely exquisite!--It beared repeating! Any reply that I could make would be an injustice to your fine poetic work! Warm hugs to you, dear Martie! Linda |
||
|
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Goodness, thank you poetry people, for these great replies. I had to drag this one out of something deep, and it was hard to get to it, but feels better now that I made it in to words. I appreciate you all!  |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
