scarlet sadness - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

Open Poetry #24

scarlet sadness

Black Swan
Member

since 2003-02-05

Posts 165
on the moon

0 posted 2003-02-05 05:07 AM

spinning toward a demise
i slowly feel the sunrise
and as i walk along the sand
i feel my grip on this Earth
and firmly i stand
he sees someone i used to know
if theres beauty within me
if iam worthy
i feel empty
my dream stands on rickety beliefs
harbored by the burden of reality
and when my world is tied into a bow
somehow fate will take me home
wherever that is
whatever he said
i wish i could rip his memories from my head

Peter J Marcroft
Member

since 2003-02-02

Posts 265
York, England

1 posted 2003-02-05 06:25 AM

Very interesting, I liked the subject. Just one gripe the lack of capitals was something that irritated but t was otherwise a very cool poem

Professor Gloom
Member Elite

since 2000-07-23

Posts 3082
of Depression

2 posted 2003-02-05 07:30 AM

I also found it interesting
And the editing problems exists,
This is good but could use more work.
The feelings expressed are done well.

Gloom

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.