Open Poetry #24 |
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The Dance Goes On |
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Stolen Simplicity Junior Member
since 2002-11-07
Posts 22Canadian |
This is a poem I have to turn in to my teacher, so please, if you see something wrong, tell me. The Dance Goes On The last traces fade, As the seasons seem to change, Smiles come to the lips, Of all those who prayed. We’ve reached our goal, What we wanted we’ve got, Nothing left to hide, Nothing left to want. There are days that go back, That seem like the past, One’s we fight to ignore, Because there’s nothing left. But once we get away, From the memories that plague, All that’s left is the joy, That we feel during the day. The dance goes on, Only ceasing to breathe, As yesterday is forgotten, And tomorrow is an eternity away. |
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© Copyright 2003 Elizabeth - All Rights Reserved | |||
SEA![]() ![]()
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
love the poem, don't know what your teacher is looking for, so??? but I liked it a lot. Thought you did great ) |
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Stolen Simplicity Junior Member
since 2002-11-07
Posts 22Canadian |
I don't think my teachers looking for much more than originality and a little bit of effort *shrug* |
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SEA![]() ![]()
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
then you did good ![]() |
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poohbear19 Member
since 2003-02-02
Posts 94Colorado, USA |
You did good, this is definately original and you put effort into it...I'm sure your teacher will give you a good grade....since you earned it. I am an assistant for a freshmen english class and I wish the teacher had a poetry unit, I love poetry. I had the same teacher 9th grade year (both semesters, and 2nd semester 10th grade year). I want the class to do a poetry unit, you are so lucky. Andrea |
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Stolen Simplicity Junior Member
since 2002-11-07
Posts 22Canadian |
I'm glad I get to, I didn't last year...but..my teacher last year didn't teach..she just stood there with a handful of text books looking pretty... |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
why don't you put this in the critical analysis forum where you might actually get some feedback on the poem itself? I'll try and get back to it myself in a couple of days, unless you've already handed it in by then...I'm a bit busy right now ![]() ![]() |
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Black Swan Member
since 2003-02-05
Posts 165on the moon |
this poem flows well |
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Dr Pepper Freak Member
since 2003-01-30
Posts 72CA |
I think you did a great job on this and if your teacher is only looking for originality and effort I think you have met the criteria! It's not the load that breaks you down, it's the way you carry it. ~ Lena Horne |
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