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Open Poetry #24

Trying To, But

Amature2
Member

since 2001-01-08

Posts 416

0 posted 2003-01-28 10:50 PM

Trying To, But

Trying to cover up the scars
But the wound still shows
Trying to show a smile
But the tears still flow
Trying to hold on
But loosing the grip
Trying to be strong
But the weakness over powers
Trying to, But

Jaime

Registered

Member
Posts 250

1 posted 2003-01-28 11:17 PM

I suppose there's always a 'but'...

Just be careful that it's not a crutch.

It has a nice flow to it and I like the ending because it seems at times that the opposition is endless and tireless. You worded this simply with, "Trying to, But". Nicely done.

- Jaime

Shiva went on break now look at how much it's gonna take to make this place a space where we can breathe.

[This message has been edited by Jaime (01-28-2003 11:19 PM).]

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius

since 2001-10-23

Posts 10549
By the Seaside

2 posted 2003-01-28 11:52 PM

Been there done that, keep trying,
and before you know it, it will just seem
like a bad dream. No buts...

Be well~

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

3 posted 2003-01-29 04:07 AM

trying is good, failing is worse, not trying again is unacceptable

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