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Open Poetry #24

short slip of a piece

VAS
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-11-16

Posts 7450
Oregon

0 posted 2003-01-28 10:51 AM

the morning slips in
beneath the clouds
whispering its solitude
in a quietness
that evokes
peace

©January 28, 2003
tell me what you think of this idea, "I almost stopped with the first 2 lines

Whether on the shoal or on the shore,
I'll seek the lighthouse evermore.

Eromyna
Member

since 2002-11-29

Posts 306
Pheonix, AZ, USA

1 posted 2003-01-28 11:09 AM

I never thought of peace before as something you could evoke. *ponders*

"I don't need to scream for you to deem me aggravation."

Ratleader

Member Rara Avis

since 2003-01-23

Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass

2 posted 2003-01-28 11:57 AM

The word "peace" has many definitions. I once wrote (in a newsletter article of all places!):

"There is that which I call peace in lying here, the pine needles sharp but soft, feeling but not comprehending the height of these trees under a haze blue Yosemite sky..."

This poem is about that kind of peace, which indeed can be evoked. And this poem does evoke it. Thanks for the gift, VAS.

If I were stopping early, I'd include line three in the brew. If....

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>

garysgirl

Member Laureate

since 2002-09-29

Posts 19237
Florida, USA

3 posted 2003-01-28 12:13 PM

Virginia, I love this...the thought as well as your choice of words and the style..

"Love makes the world go around"
~~with love and hugs from Ethel~~

Charisma

Member Ascendant

since 2000-09-30

Posts 5906
lost in blue pages

4 posted 2003-01-28 12:50 PM

beautiful written!

Charisma

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

5 posted 2003-01-28 01:17 PM

beautiful imagery...good as it is!

regards2you
Member Elite

since 2002-10-01

Posts 3940
California

6 posted 2003-01-28 01:41 PM

I love this. The morning whispering solitude is right! ( and peace) Short and oh so perfect! This is a ~makes you feel good~,little poem. Enjoyed!

Hugs, Pat

..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
"Desiderata"

inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-19

Posts 7392
Ohio

7 posted 2003-01-28 04:56 PM

just before the day starts,
the peace before, how nice of you to pay it
this respect

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