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Open Poetry #24
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Not even You
| Open Poetry #24 |
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Not even You |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside 
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You moseyed on in so sure and tall with your hands dug in your pockets staring across the room as you found a place against the wall. With a twinkle in your eye, both subtle and daring as if you knew my wildest dreams with all good intentions to send me head over heals. I didn't give it much thought because I wasn't looking for you or anyone else to turn my head I simply didn't have the time of day. But as sure as the sunlight slipped into twilight the music started to play. and I sensed you could see right through me. I happened upon a passing glance over the rim of my glass and it was all I could do to shy away and lower my eyes you gaze penetrating across the room had me smoothing my skirt and biting my lip clearly, I didn't know what to make of you. And to this day I'm not sure who moved the other to come a little closer simultaneously stepping sideways, as we danced our first dance to easy steps, beneath the strobe of flashing lights we conveniently found our rhythm that played our tune. I don't remember the song but I remember the crucial pivot being the decisive dip, twirl, and whirl and how we both learned to bend without stepping on each others toes. The subtle distinction and imminent change that came about when I wasn't looking defines the moment that will last a lifetime something no one can take away from me, not even you. ~*~ |
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visitvenus Member
since 2002-12-30
Posts 101PA, USA |
This is such a beautiful expression of that first glance, first meeting, first dance... Wonderful write! -Venus |
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Rick Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 2903Victoria, Australia |
BluesSerenade, this is a wonderful memory and expression, with words you have moved the reader and opened their imagination to the time of your rememberance. Thanks for sharing, great write. Sincerely Rick |
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Sandpiper Senior Member
since 2002-06-15
Posts 738land of flora and fauna |
Intense feelings--quite beautiful!!! "And it was at that age...Poetry arrived in search of me...And something started in my soul." |
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ctowen Member Elite
since 2001-10-18
Posts 2286Green Mountains of VT |
Sounds REAL good!! I think I will find a spot at the back of the line for my twirl.  |
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inkedgoddess Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392Ohio |
love those first glances, when eyes meet, in sync, and the music plays in the background. sometimes, tho, that first glance, should have also been the last glance nicely put together, as usual |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
wonderfully told...and indeed a pleasure to read. somthings no one can take from us. |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
'I didn't give it much thought because I wasn't looking for you or anyone else to turn my head I simply didn't have the time of day. But as sure as the sunlight slipped into twilight the music started to play. and I sensed you could see right through me.' Damn, don't ya love that feeling??  |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
one of your best Lori...good writing here hugsss always M |
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Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
BluesSerenade - you do write them nice, kinda bluesy, doncha know... BC |
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regards2you Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940California |
"You mosied on in so sure......." That will do it....the so sure..... enjoyed this a great deal. You can definitely capture a moment, the ones that do last a life time in memory.... and, not all are painful...smiling here.... Hugs, Pat  ..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.. |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Blues---This can be read on more than one level...for life is like a dance. Enjoyed! |
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seven_conscious Junior Member
since 2003-01-27
Posts 33 |
"had me smoothing my skirt and biting my lip" i love this line! it screams anticipation : ) |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
Appreciate your knowing reply... Thank you Venus~ Rick~ I was reliving the moment I guess you would say. Thanks, I'm glad it moved you. Sandpiper~ Intense, perhaps~ Thank you for the beautiful. Craig~ That's sweet of you to say so, but there is no line, trust me on this one! hugs you~ Michele~ Woulda, coulda, shoulda been. Don't I know it. Thank you for reading girl friend~ Cpat~ That's right, our memories last forever, more precious than a polished stone. Thank you always~ Duncan~ One of the nicest feelings by far. Thank you sir~ Maureen~ Do ever wonder if your best is good enough? Love you gal~ Now you've gone and made me blush a deeper shade of blue. Thanks for always being so nice BC~ Pat~ Leave it to you to pick up on that, that 'so sure' look lured me in before I knew what hit me. Hugs backatcha~ Martie~ Isn't that the truth, life moves pretty slowly at times and then picks up when we least expect it. Thanks for reading. Seven c~ I should keep it down eh! Thanks and welcome to the page! |
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