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Open Poetry #24
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Duncan
Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455


0 posted 2003-01-26 05:07 PM



The clinic was half a block
around the corner, on Highland,
according to the map
they’d drawn at the hospital.
A generous and unexpected dose
of demerol, carried me
as close to normal as I’d been
in four days.
Suddenly the sun was warm, again,
though, I knew the temperature
hadn’t changed.
I took off the thin, barely blue shirt
that was blanket,
pillow and jacket,
and hung it over
my right arm.
Not an ache remained,
as if each thread of muscle tissue
had been bathed, soothed
in a pool of potassium.
I didn’t know what the date was,
but I was pretty sure it was Tuesday
because good things usually happened to me
on Tuesdays.
I turned the corner
onto Highland
thinking, a cup of Kool-Aid,
a warm city afternoon, and
maybe they’d have oranges today.
Sometimes, the clinic had oranges.


© Copyright 2003 Duncan - All Rights Reserved
Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
1 posted 2003-01-26 05:35 PM


Duncan
Interesting write, enjoyed the story.

SimplyGold
Senior Member
since 2002-07-10
Posts 1453

2 posted 2003-01-26 05:40 PM


Duncan,

I liked this. I seem to be in a story mode myself these days. Can't seem to find my way out of it for the moment. Consequently,
I enjoyed this emensely.

SG

Wind
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981

3 posted 2003-01-26 05:50 PM


heyheyhey, I liked that story, kind of confusing but my type of poetry. Thanks for thinking, for writing and just being here.

I am living proof that ghosts exist. Which is an oximoron but I don't care ;)

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
4 posted 2003-01-26 06:01 PM



This poem leads a mind around
to a lot of ways to interpret it, Duncan...
so I'm going to see
a soldier,
still in pain from the war,
needing treatment for the pain inflicted,
on his body,
and his soul...

OK?

Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia
5 posted 2003-01-26 06:12 PM


There is no vagrancy in the way you ramble, beautifully done.
Kethry

Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind.  Unknown



Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
6 posted 2003-01-26 06:40 PM




(sigh) Oh Duncan, I love the hunky-dory feel of this, sweet friend, and maybe they'll have bite-size smores and Country Time lemondade too! (big hugggssssssss) This is lovely, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Duncan, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

7 posted 2003-01-26 11:06 PM


I took off the thin, barely blue shirt
that was blanket,
pillow and jacket,

and hung it over
my right arm.
Not an ache remained,
as if each thread of muscle tissue
had been bathed, soothed
in a pool of potassium.
I didn’t know what the date was,
but I was pretty sure it was Tuesday
because good things usually happened to me
on Tuesdays.
=================================

for me ... it was always Fridays...

your story telling is becoming more and more impressive ... this one begs to be told ... so ... dont keep us waiting ... moths are not known for their patience ya know.

Trees are poems that the earth writes upon the sky.
We fell them down and turn them into paper that
we may record our emptiness.

K.G.

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
8 posted 2003-01-27 02:40 AM


I'm liking your stories Duncan...
do tell us about Wednesday
and how many oranges you ate!


passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
9 posted 2003-01-27 04:12 AM


this is sort of child-like. I enjoyed this story.
Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
10 posted 2003-01-27 08:55 AM


I'm seeing a homeless sort - oblivious to the day/date... knowing Tuesdays and bloodbanks bring another dollar... Well done, Duncan..
Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

11 posted 2003-01-27 08:57 AM


sometimes the needles at the clinic are too dull to penetrate the need...

very well written my friend.. enjoyed!

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