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Grey Mouse and Canada #4
| Open Poetry #24 |
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Grey Mouse and Canada #4 |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
The coffee was hot and strong But hard to enjoy when your face Feels like sausage. She sat in the chair watching me With green eyes and a half smile Then laughed “You look terrible!” “Thanks.” I managed to mumble. “You can go anytime you want, or stay.” She said. “ Since I guess I am responsible for your discomfort, You can consider yourself my guest and rest a day or so if you like.” “No Thanks” I grumbled “But can you tell me what was so important about that letter, and why I got roughed up for having it?” “All I’ll tell you is that it was mine and Grey Mouse didn’t know I had moved.” “He always said he’d give it back to me one day,” she mused. “I didn’t expect the picture too, but the bastard owed me that and more.” “He tell you about his son?” she asked me with cold eyes. “Nope, he didn’t tell me anything but stories about deer and bear.” “Well, I was married to his son, until Grey Mouse killed him.” I just stared at her not knowing whether to believe her or not And not caring to know anything that I was going to have trouble sleeping with. “ The letter was from his son.” “Ma’am,” I slurred out between swollen lips. “Family business isn’t any of mine.” “No, it isn’t.” she replied in a whisper. She got up and left so I dressed and took a look at myself In the old mirror hanging over the dresser Thinking there wouldn’t be anyone kissing this mug for a while And I might have to grow a beard, when I saw the envelope Lying on the top and picked it up. A yellowed newspaper clipping fell out With a picture and an obituary. I grabbed my jacket and made like mad out the front door Thinking no man should see the spitting image of himself Written up for dead. So much for redheads And white lines |
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| © Copyright 2003 Cpat Hair - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Ron---Interesting twist you took...enjoyed! |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Captain! Great Twist! Hitchcock has NOTHING on you, Sir! Doggone if you didn't kick this one all the way home! |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Whoa!! What a twist here! Best you make a run for the border! |
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scorpio Member Ascendant
since 2002-10-02
Posts 5178right...there |
Enchantress is right Ron...head for the border... leave the Canadian redheads behind but pick up a case of beer at the duty free..but seriously, I enjoyed these writes...great story telling.. believe in what your heart feels... |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
Ron, sincerely, your ability to tell a story is amazing. I don't think my mind worked this quickly even before I killed all those brain cells.  Welcome back to the States...and blondes! |
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the_loner_23 Member Ascendant
since 2002-06-08
Posts 5479Jacksonville, Florida, USA |
Very interesting Cold hands means a warm heart |
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Mistletoe Angel 
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (sigh) Oh dear, I didn't anticipate this climax one bit, wolves are ravenous of course so better make a run for it or he'll be hunted! (big hugggsssssss) This is marvelous, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Ron, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Sheesh..the moth goes off-line for a few hours and you write a mini-series  But I am now up to speed... Ya know..for someone who says he cant write...you sure do one damn fine job of it...kinda gives new meaning to "multi-tasking" dont it LOL |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
UHHHHH!!!!!!! I didn't want it to end like that.....You put too many questions in my mind...........HeeHee  When are you gonna write a novel, Capt. Ron????? |
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regards2you Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940California |
Oh yes, like this much. Gave me a slight shiver ....with your surprise ending..... Enjoyed a great deal. Thanks for sharing your wonderful talent with us, though I definitely would be willing to buy the book.... Pat  ..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
And here we have it... smiling. Wonderful wonderful work with this-- curious? Did you have the ending in mind as you wrote all four, or did you just let it "go where it wanted to go?" (I do study, yanno...) My hats off to ya cap. Much applause. |
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Andrew Scott Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558Redlands,CA,USA |
Hey! Rod Serling... How'd you get in the back of this pick 'em up truck? Excellent piece of story telling! I do like a good mystery with a fine twist. Thanks for the trip. |
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VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
I'm in a puddle of befuddle but I sure enjoyed the read...but my questions at the end are agony indeed. Whether on the shoal or on the shore, |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
Thanks all!! Glad you enjoyed the diversion..and the tale. Appreciate the kind words..and truly glad you found some enjoyment in it.... Ser... the ending was set from the beginning...but never made it to the end. Instead it shifted its own way to something different than what was planned... |
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