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Open Poetry #24
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Eromyna
Member
since 2002-11-29
Posts 306
Pheonix, AZ, USA

0 posted 2003-01-25 10:19 PM



Weak at the knees and collapsing
only my mind and emotions are worn
Eyes wide open, I'm trapped in my waking
lost and alone as the day I was born

Reverie waits in the mind of a child
returning to forgotten pleasure
But this child in me is eternally broken
Take someone else, for I am no treasure

Emptiness lies in the eye of this beholder
pain frozen blue as frost on my skin
I am no longer the angel you slaughtered
too bitter to taste as you kiss me again

But this is not the end you intended
When did I make you hate me?
It's harder than ever to breathe today
getting darker the more you forsake me

"I don't need to scream for you to deem me aggravation."

© Copyright 2003 Shay D. - All Rights Reserved
Bill Charles
Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now
1 posted 2003-01-25 10:21 PM


Eromyna - to write like this is to have lived it. Well done, and well written thoughts...

BC

garysgirl
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
2 posted 2003-01-25 10:35 PM


Shay, this is well-written, but it feels
so sad to me.......

"Love makes the world go around"
~~with love and hugs from Ethel~~  
                  

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
3 posted 2003-01-25 10:38 PM


Very nicely done and much enjoyed!
~Hugs~

~Time has cast a spell on you,
  So you won't ever forget me~

Mysteria
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
4 posted 2003-01-25 10:41 PM


The emotion is phenominal in this poem you did a great job on it.  Your rhyme and metre was super dooper

~ The soul lies buried in ink that does not flow ~
        

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
5 posted 2003-01-26 04:41 AM


very touching, sad, and true of many...I know well
Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia
6 posted 2003-01-26 06:45 AM


scary write because it is so close to truth, excellent rhythm and rhyme also.
Kethry

Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind.  Unknown



Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
7 posted 2003-01-26 07:58 AM


'Tis so common - Either we grow together or we grow apart - Much too often it's the latter... Well said, Eromyna...
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