»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #24
»
Message in a Bottle
| Open Poetry #24 |
|
Message in a Bottle |
|
|
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California 
|
Message in a Bottle There was so much magic in the water as the sun turned down and left all its silver fishes shimmering like a diamond necklace across the lake. Soft muted moss swayed with a lapping caress against the rock where I sat in contemplation. I saw a bottle floating where the water turned to waste and muck like swamp goo, it gently hit a rock in rhythm and chimed with such delight I imagined its contents, some cheap wine and stolen kisses with the exposed midriff of love on the naked open grass and this bottle maybe in a brown sack passed, and the sweet taste lingering on soft open kisses of two drunk on passion. I looked closer hoping to glimpse a piece of paper nestled there for me to find, something that said… I have searched forever for you just to find you here too late in this faded time to kiss you, but love sighs if you listen to the caress of air that stirs around the star draped sky, and you will find me there lost and hungry for your taste. Such interesting stories in the depth of shallow mellow drifting clutter of a lake in a city. An orange plastic bowling pin, next to a flip flop next to matted fish line next to a Styrofoam cup and a coke can, a story for each object left, neglectful or blown like a plastic bag across time to lodge in exclamation of the things that make us human. I closed my eyes and listened to the sand shifting and the sweet chime of my bottle where a story grew, and the radiant colored dream burst and fell around me like brown wings and for some reason I felt so sad. ----4-00 |
||
| © Copyright 2003 Martie Odell Ingebretsen - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
How is it that we work so hard to look past the muck to see the beauty... |
||
|
CMGrimm Senior Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 685USA |
Let me be the first to say...i love it. "I imagined its contents, some cheap wine and stolen kisses with the exposed midriff of love on the naked open grass and this bottle maybe in a brown sack passed, and the sweet taste lingering on soft open kisses of two drunk on passion." I loved it.... Thanks for a Great Read.. CHris Never be a carbon copy of anybody...make your own impressions. - ANON. |
||
|
zenny Member
since 2002-11-24
Posts 371Belgium |
Lovely write martie  Each line held on to me that tight, I just had to stay reading, wanting to know what the next words would be Enjoyed it hugs, kelly The greatest thing u'll ever learn |
||
|
regards2you Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940California |
Each line addictive, just had to read another....great write, enjoyed this much. Hugs, Pat ..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.. "Desiderata" [This message has been edited by regards2you (01-25-2003 12:19 PM).] |
||
garysgirl  
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Martie, I love for you to let us into your thoughts. I know I've already told you this, but I love the way you can tell about them.  "Love makes the world go around" |
||
|
Lucie Senior Member
since 1999-06-20
Posts 1077Houston |
I was right there with you.. I could smell the water and the sun in the air, and I could almost .. perhaps faintly hear the tinkling of the glass bottle against the rock. AWESOME WRITE!! If this is what I get everytime I come back for a surprise visit I am definately coming back more often. Keep it up sweetie.. perhaps soon I will find my muse. Remember me with a smile on your face, or please don't remember me at all. |
||
|
D.Lester Young Senior Member
since 2001-12-08
Posts 1219Austin, Tx |
Some good reflecting in this poem that realy makes you think. It takes a special person to take trash and may you think of it in the way you did here, very good imagery. |
||
|
passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
you are indeed a very special person Martie. I enjoyed this write |
||
|
ThisDiamond Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353Michigan, USA |
Excellent display of your creativity, and the view of the world through your eyes. Wonderful write. ThisDiamond |
||
|
Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (big hugggssssssss) It can be so sad because you realize you're only looking through coke bottle glasses and everything is on the otherside when the fairytale seems so real to you! (sad sigh) This is very touching, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Martie, thank you for sharing! May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
||
|
Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
Martie - another bottle beckons in the sand. I sent one, perhaps you found it... BC |
||
|
Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Martie, Awesome write. I love it when you find riches in the rubble. Kethry Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind. Unknown |
||
|
Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
Ah, and this one...that was so clear and clean that it made me want to go there and see it myself....the second poem of yours I encountered, and one that rocked me so hard I remember the specific poem after almost two years.... ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
||
|
Artic Wind Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080Realm of Supernatural |
lovely ARCTIC WIND |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
