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Open Poetry #24
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She, Hope and the City
| Open Poetry #24 |
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She, Hope and the City |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California 
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She, Hope and the City At his height the sun winks in glass eyes then it nudges light onto places that do not see the moon nudging eye tight winos with a breath that rattles bottles emptied and scatters bat winged news without pause for cold or care for heart His fingers spread far enough to play a misery song with her heart reminding her she waits for long forgotten lost somewhere in his bedrooms Laced with grease curtains and a ledge he put there for longing into the lights kept on all night like stars she watches feathers fly and leave their remains to warp till they peel into air He lives on exhaust and the countless cigarettes of businesspersons taking breaks in the shadows he makes of afternoons and he understands when he shakes that all of him is not strong enough to stand She listens to the sweet noise of schoolyards where hope paints in bright colors on his walls and she thinks those small hands will find a way He watches through the maze of his many legs with eyes that see from all sides and without thought to kindness he allows some to hide in his alleyways and wait on his steps then watches as the sun takes the lady with red lips and shines her wrinkle because his asphalt is full of hard truths and time moves him also into disrepair He would open his middle and plant a park where he could lie down for just a minute and forget his steady watch and feel her sit there and take of her shoes laying into the folds of his grass Both listening to the kite-song of children laughing hope ----- inspired by Cpat Hair |
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| © Copyright 2003 Martie Odell Ingebretsen - All Rights Reserved | |||
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
yes. I smile.  and forgive me, but I am a bit out of words for the time being... but I KNOW, you understand.  |
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ThisDiamond Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353Michigan, USA |
Another excellent creation Martie. Especially enjoyed the reference to her shoes off...lying in his grass... Well done. ThisDiamond |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
I am so glad for your inspire... he does that... and you wear it well. |
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the_loner_23 Member Ascendant
since 2002-06-08
Posts 5479Jacksonville, Florida, USA |
Beautiful poetry from an intelligent mind. I really liked it a lot. Cold hands means a warm heart |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Excellent Martie... I hear you Bella Donna adding this to my library. Maree |
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Mistletoe Angel 
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
(smiles) Oh Martie, this is lovely, sweet friend, this made me smile to imagine a little boy flying a kite with a smile and a little girl swinging and giggling! (kiss on cheek) God Bless You, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Martie, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
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ShadowRider Senior Member
since 2001-07-14
Posts 1038USA |
This painted an image of what the mundane side of living in a city is like, down to the touch sensation level. I liked the internal anguish enunciated and the bare-bones lyrics. Keep 'em coming, Martie. jkf |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
At his height the sun winks in glass eyes then it nudges light onto places that do not see the moon nudging eye tight winos with a breath that rattles bottles emptied and scatters bat winged news without pause for cold or care for heart His fingers spread far enough to play a misery song with her heart reminding her she waits for long forgotten lost somewhere in his bedrooms Laced with grease curtains and a ledge he put there for longing into the lights kept on all night like stars she watches feathers fly and leave their remains to warp till they peel into air He lives on exhaust and the countless cigarettes of businesspersons taking breaks in the shadows he makes of afternoons and he understands when he shakes that all of him is not strong enough to stand ============================= Someone Handcuff this woman to the typewriter and make her write that NOVEL!!!!  I was reborn on the shores of the Chesapeake Bay |
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GOlDsparklESS Member
since 2001-12-13
Posts 428central nj |
 WOW! |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
Ah... I knew you could. very nicely done my friend...with all the elements we discussed... I think this one I keep...and visit again. |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Oh WOW Martie!! This is fantastic and I agree Ron is an inspiration! Wonderful write. ~Hugs & Smiles~ ~Time has cast a spell on you, |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Martie This is a high flying kite enjoyed holding the string for a moment. |
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Goodknight Member Elite
since 2002-06-15
Posts 2386Ohio, USA |
Martie - how powerfully you paint this picture and how deeply it touches me - your poetry is so special - Paul |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
Yes....this is the poem that was the key for me, to finally "getting it" about women's poetry. Until then I had never encountered a woman whose poetry really connected with me -- despite having a degree in English Literature. Since then it's been easy, and I happily make up for lost time, but this was the first. ....I see that back then, when my total posts were in single digits, I was too shy to respond. Now I'm not. ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
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Artic Wind Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080Realm of Supernatural |
powerful indeed ARCTIC WIND |
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