Open Poetry #24 |
A Tone of Voice |
A Tone of Voice Member
since 2001-07-18
Posts 287 |
I hate those days when the excitement ebbs And the return is black spiders weaving webs Odd it is I feel this way, after all The last days are freedom identical Identical to the first In retrospect I should savor the moments Blissfully aware as they dissipate, Try as I might, I can't It’s astringent sweet This after taste As I smile and contemplate I can't forget what is to come Loneliness, such a silly fool I am When he’s here I pretend When he’s gone I’m forced to acknowledge He’ll never leave her I’m much too smart To live a lie Yet I am Is it choice or chance Or is it neither Perhaps it’s illusion Designed by a goddess’s hand A tale of watercolors Created with a brush and A touch of madness… [This message has been edited by A Tone of Voice (01-25-2003 11:24 AM).] |
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© Copyright 2003 A Tone of Voice - All Rights Reserved | |||
A Tone of Voice Member
since 2001-07-18
Posts 287 |
maybe there is no need to explain, but since I'm relatively new here, I thought I might, this is just writing, not actually my story~! *Smile* |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
It does seem like prose, but there is rhyme in it. Perhaps line breaks would help the readers? |
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A Tone of Voice Member
since 2001-07-18
Posts 287 |
Thank you Sunshine, I tried to rearrange the format, but it wouldn't take it and then I also tried to delete it so I could re-do it, but alas it's still here.....*S* I appreciate your suggestion.... |
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Salty Senior Member
since 2002-11-23
Posts 669Texas |
Oh these places we find ourselves sometimes...weaving our own web of deceit. Trying to a play the character and part...without expecting to recieve an oscar. A very intriguing write this is. ~Salty In the Midst of movement and chaos, keep stillness inside of you. |
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regards2you Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940California |
I thought this very well written, even without line breaks it reads well and flows all the way through, and I liked the content and meaning. You brought it across nicely. Pat ..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.. |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
ATOV, I like the way you write poetry...as if you're looking in someone's being and seeing the way they're feeling. You're very good... "Love makes the world go around" |
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A Tone of Voice Member
since 2001-07-18
Posts 287 |
Salty, sometimes we find ourselves in a place it would be better for us "not" to be, but we just can't help ourselves it seems~! Thank you mucho, mucho, mucho~! ~Atov regards2you, Such encouraging words, I do appreciate them very much, thank you! ~Atov |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
do I know what you mean here!!! WOW! |
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A Tone of Voice Member
since 2001-07-18
Posts 287 |
GG, thank you, when I write I explore all the possibilities my experience or that of someone else. I take it as an extreme compliment when the reader believes it's my experience or I've conveyed it so it seems as if it is. *S* |
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A Tone of Voice Member
since 2001-07-18
Posts 287 |
passing shadows, that's what I enjoy the most, the mutal feelings and emotions we can share, even though sometimes it's not our experience we are able to feel the other's point of view....thank you very much for reading and commenting~! *S* |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
(sigh) I just love this, sweet friend, this made me smile as I love watercolor art and to paint your own heart with your fingers is truly a blessing and a one of a kind! (kiss on cheek) God Bless You, sweet friend, we al love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet friend, thank you for sharing! May love and liht always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Looks like it "took" just right... very good! |
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A Tone of Voice Member
since 2001-07-18
Posts 287 |
Noah, thank you for sharing that uplifting voice of yours, it's nice to hear nice.....*S* Sunshine, again thank you for your input, I sincerely do appreciate it~! (hugz) Atov~ |
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ThisDiamond Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353Michigan, USA |
This piece smacked with many messages, and I particularly enjoyed the free form of it...real life. Well done. ThisDiamond |
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inkedgoddess Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392Ohio |
it's just all so crazy, isnt it, when its not yours to have |
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Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
A Tone of Voice - to be only a write it's very well written. Nice work> BC |
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Eromyna Member
since 2002-11-29
Posts 306Pheonix, AZ, USA |
The last line really made that for me. Nice write. "I don't need to scream for you to deem me aggravation." |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Excellent write! Much enjoyed. ~Hugs & Smiles, Nancy~ ~Time has cast a spell on you, |
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EvocativeVerse2 Senior Member
since 2003-09-10
Posts 1279 |
Love IT! There is absolutely nothing wrong with this. It is a wonderful piece and I wish I'd written it. Bravo! Remember, if you're not part of the future, you're history! |
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