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Open Poetry #24
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SEA
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with you

0 posted 2003-01-24 12:27 PM



Kisses
fall upon skin
heated by lover’s touch
in random patterns, spelling out
what no words really could
ache....need.....desire....
passion



Heartbeats
scream in the night
felt, yet gone unheeded
drowning in the soft whisperings
between two souls entwined
so enraptured
with love


~SEA~

[This message has been edited by SEA (01-24-2003 01:23 AM).]

© Copyright 2003 S.E. A - All Rights Reserved
Mysteria
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British Columbia, Canada
1 posted 2003-01-24 12:50 PM


HOT HOT  

~ The soul lies buried in ink that does not flow ~
        

Poetic Bard
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since 2003-01-22
Posts 84
Canada, BC
2 posted 2003-01-24 12:55 PM


A beautiful piece, all the thoughts and emotions where very vivid through out that entire poem.

Beneath, there is more beneath, but, what is there in the end?  More beneath?  Or something more?

Ratleader
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3 posted 2003-01-24 01:16 AM


Not Cinquains, but sweet. This doesn't need that form to work. It's better as it's written here, and it's just perfect for Ratleader to read at 10:10 pm local....

Most of my poetry's hard and terse, and I admire folks who can write softly without losing strength. There's room for both kinds, after all.

One fiat: Write only the word or phrase that only you would say. If anything anywhere in a poem sounds like someone else might have said it sometime, they did, and you probably shouldn't. Guard against that and you'll be fine....

SEA
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4 posted 2003-01-24 01:23 AM


thank you Sharon

PB.. thank you
Ratleader... you're right, messed that up nicely didn't I?! opps, tired tonight....added an extra line in each one. well shoot...lol thanks, I'll just go fix that title

JamesMichael
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since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
5 posted 2003-01-24 02:16 AM


Sounds silky and warm...James
passing shadows
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displaced
6 posted 2003-01-24 03:31 AM


wow! what a passionate write! you described it to a tee
Sunshine
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Listening to every heart
7 posted 2003-01-24 06:57 AM



What a nice comment from Ratleader...

SEA...so glad you're back.  Passions has been missing you!

Cpat Hair
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8 posted 2003-01-24 08:52 AM


should have known you would capture the subject in a gracefully stimulating way...

nice stuff Sea..

SEA
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9 posted 2003-01-24 09:00 AM


thank you all very much, last night after I went to bed, lol I couldn't sleep cause I thought, no, I added two extra lines..sheesh.... and yes, Sunshine, it was really nice
Ron...

Enchantress
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since 2001-08-14
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Canada eh.
10 posted 2003-01-24 09:25 AM


Very nicely done Susan!
Much enjoyed!
~Hugs, Nancy~

~Time has cast a spell on you,
  So you won't ever forget me~

regards2you
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since 2002-10-01
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California
11 posted 2003-01-24 09:49 AM





Two souls enraptured, entwined in love. You wrote it well. Enjoyed.

Pat


..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
        "Desiderata"

Mistletoe Angel
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12 posted 2003-01-24 10:49 AM




(smiles) Oh Susan, I just love this, sweet friend, this made me smile as such love and passion fills your words and is destined to make your sweetheart swoon, yay! (kiss on cheek) I love this, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Susan, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

Charisma
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lost in blue pages
13 posted 2003-01-25 10:28 AM


ah Sea, as always a joy to read.

((hugs))
Charisma

garysgirl
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14 posted 2003-01-25 10:41 AM


Sea, this is just like the title...passionate  I loved it.... .
.
.
(pssst....I'm enjoying your responses in the "other" forum......HeeHee)

"Love makes the world go around"
~~with love and hugs from Ethel~~  
                  

Opeth
Senior Member
since 2001-12-13
Posts 1543
The Ravines
15 posted 2003-01-25 11:27 AM


Most enjoyable to read. The first stanza captures how one can feel when in love that words just cannot describe, but only actions in the throes of passion, perfectly.
Bill Charles
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since 2000-07-11
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highways, & byways, for now
16 posted 2003-01-25 04:47 PM


SEA - a'hhhhhhhhhh, nice.....

BC

vandana
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17 posted 2003-01-25 07:00 PM


enjoyed
Nightshade
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just out of reach
18 posted 2003-01-25 08:18 PM


Very nice SEA..very nice!! Chris

"Hope" is the thing with feathers-
that perches in the soul....
                  
                       -Emily Dickinson

D.Lester Young
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Austin, Tx
19 posted 2003-01-25 09:31 PM


This indeed is a hot piece of great wording to develop such soft sighs.
Auguste
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By the sea
20 posted 2003-01-26 06:13 PM


Now how did I miss this HOT poem?  Sounds like a pretty good night.   

The stars will shine when I am gone,
the earth will turn on as before,
the gulls, still race along the shore,
the morning star, still kiss the dawn

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