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Open Poetry #24
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Denise
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0 posted 2003-01-18 10:20 PM




I watch in helpless disbelief
A frozen sentinel, I stare,
Unable to avert the reef,
The shipwreck that awaits you there.

I struggle to correct your wrong
Help navigate the proven course
Alas, the current’s pull is strong
Mere strength is weak against such force.

The ship is yours, do as you will
Sans compass in the blackest night
Cut off the anchor, seek each thrill
Dare crashing waves, scorn guiding light

And flounder in the raging sea.
I've learned again that I am not
The captain of your destiny
...and there's no land called Camelot.





[This message has been edited by Denise (01-19-2003 01:29 PM).]

© Copyright 2003 Denise - All Rights Reserved
Janet Marie
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since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

1 posted 2003-01-18 10:30 PM


ahhhh..the metaphors..the imagery...the rhyme divine...its Sooooo goood to read you Denise...its rare we are treated to your cadenced company
This is a bittersweet beauty!

I was reborn on the shores of the Chesapeake Bay
Virginia hasn't yet faded away
I keep thinking tomorrow is coming today
So I am endlessly waiting

Denise
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2 posted 2003-01-18 10:52 PM


Thank you, Janet Marie, for reading and for your lovely comments! My muse ran away from home and only visits occassionally, that brat! Thanks again!
regards2you
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since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940
California
3 posted 2003-01-18 11:02 PM




Denise,

I am enjoying your wonderful poetry.
Very talented. I especially like this and sat here grinning all the way through it. It is .....just right!

God Bless, Pat

..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
        "Desiderata"

Denise
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4 posted 2003-01-18 11:24 PM


Thank you, Pat, for reading and for your lovely comments. I think one of the biggest struggles in my life is learning that I cannot commandeer my loved ones' lives. They will do what they will...and suffer the consequences. And I will cry for them. It's hard to stand by powerless and watch them making mistakes. Very hard. But I am learning to leave them in the Lord's hands. His are the only capable ones anyway. Thanks again!
Elizabeth
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5 posted 2003-01-19 12:05 PM


It's hard to realize we can't control someone else's actions, isn't it? Good to reasd you again, Denise!

to you!

God bless America, my home sweet home.

Aenimal
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since 2002-11-18
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the ass-end of space
6 posted 2003-01-19 12:14 PM


Loved the images and you've learned and shared a lesson that too few have. Let them live their own lives, the important thing is be there to help when needed.
Parker
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since 2000-01-06
Posts 3129
ON
7 posted 2003-01-19 01:33 AM


what no camelot..... dare you say.

Denise, wonderful write loved the whole piece.

Parker

garysgirl
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8 posted 2003-01-19 02:50 AM


Yes, Denise, this is wonderful. I enjoyed reading it....

"Love makes the world go around"
~~with love and hugs from Ethel~~  
                  

GG
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since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532
Lost in thought
9 posted 2003-01-19 02:53 AM


this is beatiful! And all too painfully true. It hurts to see others destroy their lives, as you helplessly watch them hurt themselves.. and hurt you too.
But, it is always a comfort to place them in the Lords hands. He can certainly handle it, and we don't need it on our shoulders.
Wonderful to read your writing love it!

Always, Alyssa

- And so it was that time stood still -
     (blink, breathe, stand, fight)

passing shadows
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displaced
10 posted 2003-01-19 04:00 AM


damn! I know this so well...some just won't listen, will they?
Mistletoe Angel
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11 posted 2003-01-19 04:11 AM




(sigh) Oh Denise, this is so very sad, sweet friend, I wish there existed such a place and then we could all flourish with such a chivalrous lifestyle of fancy and unadulterated love! (sad sigh) This is touching, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Denise, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

Denise
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Posts 22648

12 posted 2003-01-19 01:43 PM


Elzabeth, yes, it is, especially when we love them so much. Thanks for reading and commenting!

Aenimal, so true. To be there for them, is I guess, the proof of the love. Just wish it didn't hurt so much. Thanks for reading and commenting!

Parker, nope, there isn't, it just took me a long time to realize it and an even longer time to accept it. Thanks for reading and commenting and it's so good to see you again!

Ethel, thanks so much! I'm glad you enjoyed reading it!

Alyssa, my shoulders have proven insufficient, that's for sure. I'm glad that He has agreed to shoulder our cares for us! Thanks for your lovely comments!

passing shadows, no they won't. Very frustrating, indeed. thanks for reading and commenting!

Noah, I wish there were a land such as Camelot, in the here and now, where the ideal is realized, where there are always happy endings. Thanks for your always lovely comments!

Elizabeth Santos
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since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269
Pennsylvania
13 posted 2003-01-20 02:22 PM


Denise
This is a WONDERFUL poem, beautifully written and with a message that we should all live by.
May I borrow your pen? It writes such wondrous phrases
I love this. Back to read again
LOve
Liz

Seymour Tabin
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Tamarac Fla
14 posted 2003-01-20 02:27 PM


Denise
Now that is a nice way to say it, enjoyed.

Mysteria
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15 posted 2003-01-20 02:41 PM


quote:
I've learned again that I am not
The captain of your destiny

And by with those words, did you ever say a mouthful!  Great read Denise.

nakdthoughts
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since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
16 posted 2003-01-20 03:45 PM


I once thought there was a Camelot..in fact maybe a Camelot2...but to my dismay we all have to make our own.
nice writing as always
M

Dark Angel
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since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

17 posted 2003-01-20 03:53 PM


Wow, Denise this is outstanding, I havent read you in a long while and I am sorry for  that.

Loved the rhyme, the flow and the imagery.

adding to my library

Maree

Martie
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California
18 posted 2003-01-20 04:01 PM


Wonderfully written, Denise..with a great message!
Enchantress
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since 2001-08-14
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Canada eh.
19 posted 2003-01-20 04:59 PM


I'm sitting here shaking my head...
because I know exactly what you mean.
This is amazing...thank you for this.
~Hugs~

~Time has cast a spell on you,
  So you won't ever forget me~

winston
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since 2002-12-19
Posts 204
NW of Eden
20 posted 2003-01-20 05:55 PM


I like the strength versus weakness antagonism, and how it has something of the shape-shifting fluidity of a current or wave.
Thanks.

It's amazing I won. I was running against peace, prosperity, & incumbency.
--G. "DUBYA" BUSH. June 14, 2001. Unaware of rolling TV camera.

Denise
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since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

21 posted 2003-01-20 08:54 PM


Elizabeth, My pen runs mostly dry. I'd much rather have yours, dear friend! Thank you for your kind words!

Seymour, Thanks! I guess it's better than my ranting and raving as I'm wont to do!

Sharon, A hard lesson for me to learn, but there it is. Thanks!

Maureen, Camelot dies hard, doesn't it? Perhaps I shall create my own too! Great idea!

Maree, Thank you for the outstanding! It's always a pleasure to see you!

Martie, Thank you for the wonderful! I need to learn the message every day. I guess I'm a bit slow!

Nancy, Thank you and you're welcome!

Winston, Now that you mention it, I can see that! Your reply is poetic! Thank you!

Balladeer
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22 posted 2003-01-20 10:11 PM


There IS a land called Camelot
That's ruled by king and knight
Where truth and justice always wins
And damsels dress in white.

There is a land of good and right
Where virtue always wins
Where honor is a common bond
And God forgives our sins.

Do not lose sight of Camelot
No matter what the cost.
When we allow our hopes to die
Then we are also lost.

Nightshade
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just out of reach
23 posted 2003-01-20 10:21 PM


Denise - this is truly a I too have learned the hard way that I am only the "first mate" on board ship, and the captain will either sink or sail his "ship". Wonderful write. Chris

"Hope" is the thing with feathers-
that perches in the soul....
                  
                       -Emily Dickinson

Sunshine
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Listening to every heart
24 posted 2003-01-20 11:15 PM



To each their own, Denise?

Wonderful metaphor...lots of thought here...
a mother to a child...
a taxpayer to the President...
a dissident to a tyrant...

I'm so glad you're back, writing!  
You've been away far too long!

But you must know...
I still believe...


[This message has been edited by Sunshine (01-20-2003 11:17 PM).]

ShadowRider
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since 2001-07-14
Posts 1038
USA
25 posted 2003-01-20 11:48 PM


That deserves a WOW, Denise.  A total success as an extended metaphor, loaded with truisms
and the inevitable conclusion of a shipwreck.
JkF

Andrew Scott
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since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558
Redlands,CA,USA
26 posted 2003-01-21 01:09 AM


Ahhhh... but perhaps it takes such daring to find those mythic halls of Camelot.  All the same, I do not look forward to those times when my own venture forth to test those waves.  I enjoyed the read.  Peace to you and yours.
Paul Wilson
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27 posted 2003-01-21 02:11 AM


Denise~ A touching write. Enjoyed.
Sometime we all need to let someone else stear the ship and guide us to a different Camelot...Paul

"To share my poems with you is to share my heart with you"

vlraynes
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since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
28 posted 2003-01-21 04:20 AM



Denise~
Wise words you've penned here, and beautifully said.
I'm smiling at Balladeer's reply...and 'tis true,
we must never lose sight of the 'dream' of Camelot.
I enjoyed this, my friend...it's wonderful to read you again.
Big HUGS,
~Vicky

"...until you have read the verse on his heart,
you have not truly met the poet.
~vlraynes

Nan
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29 posted 2003-01-21 01:39 PM


Indeed... The most we can hope for is to keep our own ships from running aground... The rest of the fleet definitely have to respond to their own individual captains... Good'n, m'friend...

[This message has been edited by Nan (01-21-2003 01:57 PM).]

Dr.Moose1
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since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448
Bewilderment , USA
30 posted 2003-01-23 05:10 PM


Denise,
"no land called Camelot"? Surely, dear lady, you don't mean to tell me I've beed deluding myself all these years. Oh, I get it, you mean, in the "real" world, (sheesh, you had me worried there for a minute!)All kidding aside, this was a delight to read, (if somewhat sad).May the adventurous souls you write of always find safe passage.
Doc

Balladeer
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31 posted 2003-01-23 07:42 PM


Of course there is a camelot!
I bought my camel there!
Whatever kind you want, they've got
If you don't mind the hair.

They have them with one lump or two.
I bought a dromedary.
Don't try to buy one on the hoof
'Cause it's all cash and carry.

To think this place does not exist
Is all a bunch of rot.
So come on down and take your pick
At Big Al's camelot!!!



Denise
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32 posted 2003-01-23 10:54 PM


Balladeer, it must be true, for you truly are a knight in shining armor! Thanks for the lovely poem and for the smile!

Chris, yes, and it is a lesson hard learned. I still don't seem to get it most times! Thank you for reading and for your kind reply!

Karilea, yes, now that you mention it, I see that it does have multiple applications. Keep believing! Thanks for your lovely comments!

ShadowRider, thank you for your wonderful comments! So that's what an extended metaphor is! I think I've learned more here in my years at Passions than I ever did in English class! I'm glad you enjoyed it!

Andrew, continue to enjoy those years when you still have them safely under your wing. They go way too fast. Thank you for reading and for enjoying!

Paul, thank you! I'm glad it touched you! A different Camelot...yes, you are so right! Thank you for the insight!

Vicky, thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it! And Balladeer does have the knack for putting a smile on a face,doesn't he?! Big hugs to you too!

Nan, so true, there's not much we can do, is there? Just try to prepare for the inevitable, as best as possible. Thanks for your lovely and thoughtful reply!

Doc, thank you for the kind words and well wishes for those adventurous souls. It is my prayer as well.

Balladeer, ROFL Thanks! I needed a good laugh.

[This message has been edited by Denise (01-23-2003 10:55 PM).]

skyshine
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Beneath the northern stars
33 posted 2004-09-19 11:52 PM


It's hard enough for me to realize I can't always control my OWN life, let alone somebody else's. I just sort of sit back, watch, and hope and pray. And that's pretty much the hardest part. but I hope for the best.

~sky

So you go and make it happen
Do your best, just keep on laughing
It's all on you, there's always a brand new day. -Avril Lavigne

Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural
34 posted 2007-10-28 11:30 AM


i do hope for the best too for you

ARCTIC WIND

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