Open Poetry #24 |
Ghost Box |
Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
It lives in that dark place Where no one goes And I don’t trip over it When looking for The latest misplaced Why I visited it Remains a mystery But my fingers fumbled The lid off and tangled themselves In the lines of words Tied with string That picture fell out And I saw a me of years past Standing next to you With a smile While your fingers Found the folds of my shirt pulling me to you Stuffing the image back I hurried to replace the lid Locking the darkness in, Panicking the shove Into that corner Where no one goes Later my fingers found shirt buttons And as they were undone I paused With rememberance of tenderness [This message has been edited by Cpat Hair (01-10-2003 04:35 PM).] |
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© Copyright 2003 Cpat Hair - All Rights Reserved | |||
Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
Nice gem Cpat and ironically i have a similar box that calls on me from time to time. btw the I,my and the remember instead of rememberance were those intentional? [This message has been edited by Aenimal (01-10-2003 04:34 PM).] |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
I feel like I just saw something private. do you say "well done" to the dust of time, sparkling through a peek of torn curtain? No...I'll just shut the door quietly for once. Beautiful. |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Put Pandora's box back... it's not time yet. |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
Aenimal.. no they were sloppy edits and multi tasking on my part... trying to do too many things at once...thanks for pointing them out...appreciate it! Ser... no worries mate.. ghosts can't hurt us...can they? |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
Sunshine... or maybe it was... we all need to be reminded how we once were... |
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regards2you Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940California |
Ron, The title made me curious and the poem almost made me weep. Whoa, so subtle and tastefully written...with not one word too much or too little to get the thoughts and feelings across. I like this a great deal. Warm regards, Pat ..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.. |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
thanks Pat...but I think there probably could be a bit of pruning done to it and still get across the feelings...then again..I always have to stop myself from editing them out of existance..( chuckling) glad you liked... |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Cpat Hair Good write, enjoyed the read. |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
Thank Sy... glad you enjoyed.. |
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Charisma
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906lost in blue pages |
think im gonna like what you write Charisma |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
(chuckling) wouldn't get my hopes up... I am pretty dim witted... |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
Reminds me of a box I have..Well done. Sandra |
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kaile
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore |
Ron, forget the pruning..i like it the way it is... serenity said it best...thanks also for letting us recognise the box within us...perhaps we should open it ourselves so that we may heal? |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
Ron, this poem is superb. It carries all of the tender emotions of that which it is.. Memories... I particularly enjoyed it. I feel the poem is perfect as is. I also feel this will inspire others, as well as bring to mind their own box, whether imagined or real... I know it will me.. |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
we all have one of those...I'll tell you about mine one day |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Capt. Ron, Barry can always say it just right, can't he? Just as YOU can always say it just EXACTLY the way it should be said. Thank you, Sir, for letting us see a bit of your memories.... "Love makes the world go around" ~~with love and hugs from Ethel~~ [This message has been edited by garysgirl (01-11-2003 12:53 PM).] |
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Paul Wilson
since 2002-07-07
Posts 4711United States |
Ron...Very nice indeed. Really liked the following. Refers to letters from the past I guess. Why I visited it Remains a mystery But my fingers fumbled The lid off and tangled themselves In the lines of words Tied with string My box of memories good and bad are kept locked away withih my heart and I am the keeper of the key. Paul "To share my poems with you is to share my heart with you" |
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bluRaven Junior Member
since 2003-01-08
Posts 18Richmond, VA |
wow, this literally brought tears to my eyes for the emotion shared. Memories are so powerful. I liked this alot, as I like all works from the heart. ~Luvs~ "~Sometimes you have to forgive someone because you want them in your life."~~ |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
(sigh) Oh Ron, this is lovely, sweet friend, I too love scrapbooks and attic treasures and they make me cry being able to see beyond my elders years! (big hugggsssssss) God Bless You, sweet friend, this is a pleasure, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Ron, thank you for sharing! May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." Shakira [This message has been edited by Mistletoe Angel (01-11-2003 08:50 PM).] |
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Pilgrimage Member Elite
since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945Texas, USA |
Oh, that is so good. Without fuss or muss, you quietly touch something in me with this one. Nan (Pilgrim variety) |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
You don't know it...but...you just triggered a tender memory.. Thank you for this one poet sir. ~Hugs & Smiles, Nancy~ ~Time has cast a spell on you, |
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Wind
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981 |
Yes I did enjoy that! An of course ghosts can't hurt us. I am a ghost! A living one Never be normal! |
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Sandpiper Senior Member
since 2002-06-15
Posts 738land of flora and fauna |
yep..they can be pesky lil creatures can't they?..those ghost memories--enjoyed! "And it was at that age...Poetry arrived in search of me...And something started in my soul." |
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enchantingvamp Member
since 2002-12-21
Posts 214Indiana, & NO there is NOT more than corn in Indiana, oughta go back to texas! |
this piece reminded me of that moment in my life when i knew just what i wanted, just how to get it, that perfect moment of clarity...of course in the end it didnt turn out right and all i have now are the " almost " memories, i'm amazed by the way you captured it, no one else i've ever read has even come close, wonderful read. |
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The Lonely Stranger Member
since 1999-06-18
Posts 361Upstate, NY, USA |
Boy you got me there Cpat, I started to read and had to knnow what "It" was. I think we have all stumbled back across that "doorway to the past. I know I have. ... There is no normal life Wyatt, just life ... so live! [This message has been edited by The Lonely Stranger (01-12-2003 06:54 AM).] |
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