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jetty dreamer
| Open Poetry #24 |
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jetty dreamer |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia 
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Upon the south jetty I sat for hours dreaming of you; jealous of the gull's freedom to enjoy the trash you left behind. The sun set too swiftly behind my beloved Channel Islands. Too mellow a moonglow on the surf; it lacked the needed comfort and warmth, and all I felt was faded light. Traipsing through tidepools did nothing to wash away the pain of losing you to the mundane machinations of LA money grabbers. Are you still sorting and counting beans for the secret underground rulers of the west? I'm surviving somehow, thank you for asking. You would be surprised at what I've seen and done these past few years. Did you know I became a mother? |
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| © Copyright 2003 Kathleen Kacy Stafford - All Rights Reserved | |||
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christian Member
since 2002-12-18
Posts 331 |
this is pretty awesome. i wish i could read the poem while posting this comment but i can't, though i remember the first stanza pretty vividly--about being jealous of the gulls that are left there to pick 'your' trash. that was astounding. and then, the poem just glues itself to a collision course that ends the poem with such a powerful conclusion--the last line. great job, you got me hooked. -chris. |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
like this...got a heart to it and some grit... strong ending...and good images... overall..got to say this is good stuff..  looking forward to more... |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
Chris and Capt, thanks to both of you for these replies. It seems my flow is best when I'm dumping my heart and soul all over the page. No editing needed, the emotions have already gone beyond that stage. |
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regards2you Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940California |
Well, this is certainly great! I enjoy this a lot. You've outdone yourself. Especially liked the ending...and, some of the lines are quite creative, too, so much so that I went back and re-read it couple times. Hugs and warm regards, Pat ..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.. |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
Thank you Pat. Maybe I should bleed more often?  |
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zenny Member
since 2002-11-24
Posts 371Belgium |
i can see the feelings you put in this one midnightsun.. just writing off your thoughts etc, helps sometimes.. and makes nice pieces.. as is this one;.. a very nice write i enjoyed reading it The greatest thing u'll ever learn |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
 thanks zen one, also enjoy you signoff, from Moulin Rouge. |
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Auguste
since 2000-02-16
Posts 3953By the sea |
This has a touch of "real" to it. Got a feeling there's a long story behind this one. Nice writing, Kacy. The stars will shine when I am gone, |
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kaile
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore |
Kacy, like Chris i was captivated by the first stanza...and you dropped the last line like a bombshell, leaving this reader yearning for an encore... |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Kacy, this is one that makes the reader want more....of your thoughts, your feelings, just more...... You know, it seems that when someone is writing from their own emotions and feelings, no matter what the subject, the writing comes out so much more realisticly and with so much heart......... Maybe we, (the readers), like to see someone "dump their heart and soul" all over the pages?  Anyway, Kacy, you really did out-do yourself with this one......and I enjoyed reading it, too........ It really touched me.....  "Love makes the world go around" |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
yeah, I agree with everyone above here...especially Ethel...we do like to see the writer dump their heart and soul... Christian, you can open a new window, and go back and forth from poem to comment...that's how I respond  or just hit and back and forward buttons. |
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VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
Chris mentioned everything I was thinking as I read, but said it so much better than I could have. Extremely well done. I had to come in as the title immediately took me to a favorite time when I praised God in song, along with the roaring surf, by the jetty at Rockaway Beach Oregon. Thanks for delivering me there with just your title, thanks for the powerful voice of your poem! It's a WOW!!! Whether on the shoal or on the shore, |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
If you bleed more often, Kacy, we're going to need a resident nurse to take care of the rest of us.  |
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Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
Midnitesun - the sun does indeed shine at midnight, awesome write... BC |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
Michael, thanks pal. Yep, a long story. kaile, encore of the write OK, but not the event. Ethel, thanks! keep a towell handy. Shadows, yes. Hope Chris finds the clues. VAS, I've been to Rockaway! Thanks for your reply. Sunshine gal, I have extra bandaids.  Bill, thank you so much for reading. |
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Sandpiper Senior Member
since 2002-06-15
Posts 738land of flora and fauna |
Whew!! Reeled me in hook, line and sinker--excellent!! "And it was at that age...Poetry arrived in search of me...And something started in my soul." |
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enchantingvamp Member
since 2002-12-21
Posts 214Indiana, & NO there is NOT more than corn in Indiana, oughta go back to texas! |
Ok, I know that until I die I'm going to remember the line about being jealous of the gull for being able to pick over your trash....  that pretty much sums up my pathetic love life.....that was a totally mind blowing read! |
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